Masking the heartache

[Image credit: scottchan]

Wear a mask that grins and lies, it hides our cheeks and shades our eyes.
The debt we pay to human guile, with torn and broken hearts,
we smile … ~ Paul Laurence Dunbar

You know who you are.  The one who dons a mask to hide the pain.  Your countenance contains no clue to the misery locked behind the walls of your heart.  To the outsider looking in, your life is good.  Productivity equates to happiness and when someone inquires of your well-being, your natural response is “fine,” of course.  But fine, in your book, means breathing.  Able to function.  Equipped with skills at compartmentalizing betrayal, disappointment and shattered dreams … without self-combusting.  You believe if you pretend long enough, the difference between reality and fantasy will blur, making it impossible to discern.  So you smile and attempt to fool those who know you best.  Because if you succeed, the lies have a greater chance at becoming truth and no one will be the wiser.  Especially you.

Do you hide a broken heart behind a mask of lies?

B is for blog

[Image credit: Theeradech Sanin]

The first step in blogging is not writing them but reading them. ~ Jeff Jarvis

My big sister emailed me last week and mentioned I had already written 161 blog posts.  One of my goals for the New Year was to post each day, and although a few haven’t cleared until after midnight in some parts of the world, I’ve faithfully stuck to my resolution.  With a half-year left and around 200 more to go, I’m already thinking about 2013.  At this point, I don’t know that I’ll commit to another blog-a-day, but rather focus on my other writing endeavors, while checking in occasionally and following fellow bloggers.  Blogging daily has been a great way to discipline myself, however.  Although no one else keeps track (except maybe my sister), I like the regular deadline and feeling of accountability.  It also forces me to be more observant, dig deep into my well of ideas and step outside my comfort zone.  Plus, it helps me work things out in print.  For now I’ll keep doing what I’m doing, and in 200 odd days, maybe I won’t just be a little bit older, I’ll be a little bit wiser.

Is there a goal you made for 2012 that you’ve kept up with?