When results and efforts disagree: defining growth

Photo by m. on Unsplash.

Now that we’ve surpassed the five-month mark into our new adventure on the mountain (see After the Leap), due to a three-week setback with COVID early on—as well as multiple challenges that have taken precedence—it often seems we have little to show for our efforts. Especially…[read more]

Flirting with freedom

 

The term freedom stirs up multiple meanings. In the case of my cat, although he lives a charmed life, I imagine he still yearns for life “on the wild side.” Or at least a fleeting taste of life outside the confines of our yard. A student on break finds a brief reprieve from tests and papers due. When on vacation, deadlines and everyday responsibilities temporarily cease. How rare to be afforded a chance to not just flirt with freedom, but to test drive it. Freedom from fear, from debt, from a relationship or job no longer serving its purpose, from illness or whatever it is that limits our potential—before making a life-changing decision. If we were only guaranteed success, wholeness, satisfaction, a cure. But we aren’t, so we remain in our own yard and never see what’s on the other side of the gate. One day we may gather the courage to open it and walk through to the other side.

What do you desire freedom from?

Word-of-the-month: nihility (n.)

[Image credit: Arvind Balaraman]

Within the past week or so, there has been a marked nihility in my life — a hole that must be filled.  I’ve sought to satisfy this emptiness by surrounding myself with like-minded people (see Dreamers and doers), attending Yoga practice nearly every day, meeting my basic spiritual needs, throwing myself into my day job and writing out goals to advance my writing career.  But the deep nihility remains.  It’s as if a little part of my heart has been excised and I’m waiting to find the missing piece.  The online definition of this noun is nothingness.  Synonyms include void, blank, oblivion and nonexistence.  Yet I continue to seek after the antonyms of capacity and fullness.  I’m not sure what it will take to attain wholeness.  Perhaps each stepping stone toward Someday will bring me closer.  Or maybe it will require the eventual realization of Someday in order to be complete.  All I know is what I’m currently doing is not working.

Is there nihility in your life?