When all the butterflies die: look forward to new growth

 

While scrolling through Facebook recently, I stumbled upon this quote: “That feeling you get in your stomach when your heart’s broken. It’s like all the butterflies died.” I know a few things about broken hearts and dead butterflies. Hope deferred. Unmet expectations. Loss and emptiness. But during this new season, I am compelled, now more than ever, to make sense of my path. To reclaim that feeling of contentment I talk about in “Try it on for size…” To don happiness as a daily accessory. To welcome new growth. For far too long my attention has been fixated inward on my needs and wants and disappointments. And it’s time for me to look outward and focus on those around me.  To take a break from the distractions and agendas and whatever else thwarts, rather than advances, my purpose. Hopefully, in time, as I breathe and pray, I will discover what makes me tick and who I’m supposed to be.

How do you know you’re on the right path?

Jump right in: approaching everyday life

Yesterday I registered for NaNoWriMo. For readers unfamiliar with this acronym, National Novel Writing Month is an annual, internet-based creative writing project that takes place during the month of November, and where participants attempt to write a 50,000-word manuscript. Although I’m excited to share the group energy and online support, I’m even more eager to implement a concept that occurred to me as I tried to wrap up my book outline (yes, I’m a planner/plotter vs. pantser). I can either wait until it makes sense (how often does that happen?), or I can jump in and figure out the details later. And not just with regard to my novel, but also my crazy busy life. In my post, “The price of sacrifice…,” I mention re-examining my needs and wants and here’s what I’ve got: they will (likely) be forever imbalanced. This means that, at times, I’ll just take the plunge and figure it out as I go. Kind of like a pantser.

How do you approach everyday life?

Photo courtesy of tuelekza at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Easier said than done

That old saying in the title rings spot-on for me now more than ever since I committed to living my life Today (see “It’s just the beginning”). I’ve begun the process by initiating dialog, albeit painful, forcing me to examine my heart and my motives and to cull the truths from the lies about who I am and what I believe about myself. It feels like I’ve been squeezed through an emotional wringer over the past few days as I shine a light on the darkness and examine my character. I hope it hasn’t always been about my desires, my needs—but rather a wanderlust not to travel so much as to explore and learn, to grow into the most authentic version of the reflection I see in the mirror each day. Ultimately, I know what I must do. Yet that’s when it’s easier said than done. It’s scary… exhilarating. And I feel like I’m running out of time.

When is it easier said than done for you?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.