So much to do, so little time to think

A recurring theme in my blog posts revolves around Someday, as well as a void I seek to fill by immersing myself in writing or prayer, yoga or volunteer opportunities, cooking or cleaning, crafting or shopping or time with friends. I’ve also been spreading my creative wings and attending art classes and writing workshops and, when I’m not engaged, I’m either watching TV or listening to music, playing online games or losing myself in a fictional world of print. Anything, and everything, to keep my mind from slowing down enough to explore the void and discern what it is I’m truly missing. The persistent busy-ness only creates a temporary fix. I know this, because it’s in the quiet moments just as I fall asleep at night and each morning before I’m fully awake when I ache for Someday and the life I hold an image of. If I stop, and listen, it only reminds me how long I still have to wait.

What is your image of Someday?

Word-of-the-month: nihility (n.)

[Image credit: Arvind Balaraman]

Within the past week or so, there has been a marked nihility in my life — a hole that must be filled.  I’ve sought to satisfy this emptiness by surrounding myself with like-minded people (see Dreamers and doers), attending Yoga practice nearly every day, meeting my basic spiritual needs, throwing myself into my day job and writing out goals to advance my writing career.  But the deep nihility remains.  It’s as if a little part of my heart has been excised and I’m waiting to find the missing piece.  The online definition of this noun is nothingness.  Synonyms include void, blank, oblivion and nonexistence.  Yet I continue to seek after the antonyms of capacity and fullness.  I’m not sure what it will take to attain wholeness.  Perhaps each stepping stone toward Someday will bring me closer.  Or maybe it will require the eventual realization of Someday in order to be complete.  All I know is what I’m currently doing is not working.

Is there nihility in your life?