Honor the gain

[Image credit: digitalart]

In my post When enough is enough, I talk about the users, takers or neutral parties in our lives — the people unable to give back or compromise in a relationship.  However, maybe it really isn’t one-sided at all.  Perhaps, instead, both parties involved have simply outgrown something that served its purpose once-upon-a-time.  And that rather than outgrowing it, we’re really growing into the person we were always meant to be.   Personally, I believe that we have not lost as long as we take something out of it on our continuing journey.  It could be newfound knowledge about the world we live in, or insight into spiritual or cosmic mysteries, or even a deeper glimpse into our own personal psyches … a closer look at the person we are and who we may become.  So while we should still know when enough is enough, we must also honor what we’ve gained.  That way the time spent wasn’t in vain.

Do you honor the gain or dwell on the insult?

When enough is enough

[Image credit: Keerati]

Unfortunately, some people in our lives turn out to be users, takers or simply neutral parties.  They may find our weakness(es) and milk us for all we’re worth without even trying.  Or perhaps it’s our giving nature which attracts a co-dependent personality.  Until one day, we’re all tapped out and have nothing left to give.  I think this is when enough is enough.  Because if we continue draining our buckets without replenishing them, then we’ll end up possessing little to nil for the friend struggling with a health scare, or our child who wants to share with us the mysteries in their heads.  I’m learning there are a select few who just don’t have it in them to give back or compromise.  But that it’s okay for me to stop trying to breathe life into something I can’t maintain by myself.  There’s only so much one person can do if the other isn’t willing.

How do you handle relationships where you’re mostly on the giving side of things?