Moving forward through the grief

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Moving through grief

[Image credit: -Marcus-]

It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’
I do not agree. The wounds remain.
In time, the mind, protecting its sanity,
covers them with scar tissue
and the pain lessens.
But it is never gone.
~ Rose Kennedy

Nearly a month has passed since my family experienced an event that garnered much heartache. One of those situations where you don’t know how you would handle it unless you’ve been there, done that. Even now, I’m not sure how I should feel or react. I’ve found myself going through the various stages of grief: denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression and — hopefully one day — acceptance. Or something similar. I have even struggled with guilt. Yet as I move forward and the wounds still linger, the pain continues to lessen. I wish there was a quick fix to ease the transition through each stage. But I’ve been allowing myself to laugh again, while looking for joy in what remains.

What is your secret to moving forward through the grief?

Want … or need?

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[Image credit: David Castillo Dominici]

Never give up on something you really want.  
It’s difficult to wait, but more difficult to regret. ~ Author Unknown

There are things I need in life, but only a few things I really want.  However, sometimes I think about throwing in the proverbial towel when timing isn’t on my side.  I wonder if others possess self-imposed deadlines and, if they’re not living the dream by such-and-such date, if that dream becomes null and void.  I’m not a quitter; however, when something appears impossible, I have a hard time seeing past the roadblocks.  And waiting is hard.  Mostly, though, I don’t want to regret: seeing something through to the end (or maybe a new beginning), not giving it my all, negating the time it takes to transition seasons.  No doubt it would be easier if we could pick a date to write Someday in our planners.  But without that option, we must decide if we really need what we want.

Do you really need what you want?

Time heals

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[Image credit: cbenjasuwan]

Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.
~ Hippocrates

Personally, I believe that time provides a buffer, a safeguard or defense, to help prevent the heart from breaking into a thousand little pieces each time we experience some sort of loss in our lives.  And many of us also undergo the seven steps of grief which, of course, affect everyone differently.  Speaking for myself, I think it would be nice to remove the middle-man of time and speed up the entire healing process.  Maybe it’s possible to help it along by heeding Hippocrates’ words and providing the opportunity — filling our waking hours with our favorite pastime, a new passion and/or the company of friends or family — in order to make the step-by-step transition easier.  Eventually we may get to that place where the wounds become less visible, perhaps leaving only a few battle scars on the surface of our hearts.  I’ll let you know how that goes for me … in time.

Have you given yourself the opportunity for healing?