Quit forcing the issue: a study in contrasts

 

During a solo hike on the Sonoran trails last month, I sought—as a matter of course—divine guidance pertaining to my vocation, my relationships and my spiritual, physical and emotional health. Oftentimes, it requires miles of silence, a veritable test in patience, for me to gain any type of clarity. That afternoon proved no different and, while I navigated the ins and outs of a new-to-me trail system, I sensed clear instruction: Quit forcing the issue. Although not quite the message I’d expected or hoped for, I understood the directive. For a planner like me, however, to sit back and go with the flow also illustrates a study in contrasts—not unlike the vibrant desert blooms fixed against a backdrop of rugged terrain. Yet, the moment I quit forcing the issue created space: to either freak out, or to growth within. To wallow in the challenges, or to celebrate the victories. Most important, it allowed the magic to unfurl.

What issue do you need to quit forcing?

An amazing life

I spent the past 31 days reciting a positive affirmation each morning. I practice Bikram yoga, attend church, volunteer my time, share laughter with friends and family, work in a field I’m passionate about and engage in fulfilling hobbies. I wake up every day and choose happiness, yet I seem to be missing something. Through Family Share and its 15 steps to ensure an amazing life, however, I discovered a few missing links.

1. Connect with yourself and others
2. Live in the present
3. Always create
4. Cultivate an “attitude of gratitude”
5. Choose a mentor wisely
6. Give your body the gift of rest and relaxation
7. Eat for happiness (skip processed foods, enjoy healthy fats)
8. Cleanse your body
9. Cleanse your mind
10. Cleanse your spirit
11. Establish healthy boundaries
12. Let go of anything that doesn’t serve you
13. Set SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, timely)
14. It’s a practice, not a perfect
15. Help others

Where do you miss the mark?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Lifestyle factors, depression and making a change

 

[Image credit: Jeanne Claire]

When we are no longer able to change a situation,
we are challenged to change ourselves.
~ Viktor Frankl

Recently I read about lifestyle factors that may contribute to making us feel depressed. They include grief, sleep-deprivation, lack of exercise, poor diet, stress, all work and no play, imbalanced hormones and missing meaning. The latter factor hit home for me because finding meaning fuels my happiness. According to Frankl, we can find meaning through work, relationships, helping others, learning, creative activities, spirituality and more. If we’re in a dead-end job or relationship, it’s easy to feel “lost” because our life doesn’t align with our values and goals (see Aligning our Beliefs, Actions).  If we’re grieving, counseling may be one answer. In order to be more fulfilled and to minimize feelings of depression, I’ve already started making changes. Baby steps. And hopefully with a little more sleep, and a lot more play, things will look better in the morning.

How do you know it’s time to make a change?