Got grief? Strategies to help manage heartache

 

Grief, like cancer, is not biased. Although grief, or heartache, focuses on the psyche, it can still kill: hope, good intentions, innocence. In “Moving forward through grief,” I talk about the stages of grief that many of us will or have encountered. No one situation looks the same; likewise, no one person assimilates grief the same way. Additionally, I believe this soul-deep sorrow can extend beyond loss into territories of unfulfilled dreams, unanswered prayer, disillusionment, broken relationships, failing health and so on. What we require is not a one-size-fits-all solution, but remedies we can apply to help us transition through it:

• Accept it: understand grief is a normal part of life
• Be patient: cut slack—with yourself and others—when appropriate
• Allow time: rest, rejuvenate and replenish as necessary
• Walk through it: realize it is only temporary; avoid setting up camp
• Admit a need: know when to ask for and/or to accept help
• Say no: don’t apologize, minimize or make excuses

What’s your strategy for coping with grief?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Achieving common ground

We will never agree with everything someone thinks or feels or stands for. But that doesn’t mean we can’t strive for understanding and acceptance of our differences. Recently, I made the mistake of assuming a friend of mine and I were on the same page in regard to a certain situation. Although my friend—I’ll call her Paige—said “yes” to my take on things, I later learned that did not mean she agreed with me. In my post, “Agreeing to disagree,” I cover our dissimilarities and how they color our interactions with others, oftentimes casting us in circles or up against brick walls. Instead of agreeing to disagree, however, I’d prefer to achieve common ground—the middle-of-the-road compromise where both parties have a say and, although it might not be a perfect solution, each can live with the outcome. Give and take is a healthy part of any relationship, as long as everyone’s voice is heard and mutual respect is offered.

How do you achieve common ground?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Whose idea was this anyway?

 

[Image credit: cuteimage]

It is our choices … that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.
~ J.K. Rowling

Ever wake up and the solution to a dilemma is on the tip of your tongue? Or ever crawl out of bed and not have a clue as to what you’re doing with your life? Both examples are snapshots of me over the course of a few days. In one breath, I successfully solved a web-formatting issue, and in the next I can’t recall why I want to pursue my master’s degree. Something about time passing whether I’m in school or not. Which leads to my next question: Ever jump on the band wagon of someone else’s dreams and think, “Oh, that’s *my* dream!”? But then partway into the planning and prepping you realize yes, time will pass, but whose passion am I really pursuing? If that happens, step back. Regroup. Be gentle. And allow yourself permission to change your mind.

What choice(s) are you at odds with today?