New year new decade: 7 steps to success

In my post, “It’s not too early…” I share a link on strategies to attract everything you want in 2020. With two months remaining in 2019, I challenge readers (and myself) to begin now. To recap: 1) Identify what you really want and be sure you really want it; 2) visualize your future self doing what it takes to get there; 3) believe that you can do it; 4) clarify your intention and give it your attention; 5) prepare for when the slope gets slippery; 6) hold yourself accountable, but be gentle with yourself and 7) practice gratitude every step of the way. It all sounds simple, right? I think where I struggle the most is at the beginning: What do I really want? Going forward into this new decade, the key for me is to keep it simple and straightforward. And one (major) “want” only. Otherwise, it looks a lot like self-sabotage and my best intentions go up in smoke. Every time.

What do you really want?

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Taming the monkeys: Part IV and what ‘not’ to do

In my post, “Taming the monkeys, Part III… ,” I began sharing insights on planning, plus a link to time-management thought leader Ben Hardy. Several of his articles tout the importance of planning because, according to another Ben (Franklin), If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail. First thing’s first: plan a morning (and evening—more on that later) routine that sets you up for success. As Hardy says: You make or break your life before 8 a.m. Bonus material: here’s what not to do: change too many things at one time. Keep it simple, or you’ll become overwhelmed. Hardy, himself, swears by these straightforward steps: wake up, drink water, take a cold (optional) shower, get dressed, meditate/pray, visualize/set goals, create/work. Personally, I skip the cold shower and incorporate yoga stretches into my mornings. But allow Google to be your friend as you plan a customized routine. For more ideas, visit https://21dayhero.com/morning-routines-guide/ and https://www.scienceofpeople.com/morning-routine/. Coming up: think SMART.

What three things comprise your morning routine?

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Discovering your life’s purpose

For the past several weeks, I’ve spent a good portion of each day conducting my version of soul searching: journaling my frustrations (see ‘How to excel…‘), practicing mindfulness (e.g., moving meditation in the hot room, on the mountainside, in the gym) and asking myself what’s next on the other side of the half-century mark? Although I’ve discovered true happiness (focusing on others rather than myself), have a general idea of how to achieve the simple life (say ‘no’ when necessary, pitch the clutter, etc.), now I need to take a look at what I’m doing with this one life (see ‘Wasting time or living life…’). In other words: What’s my purpose? For me, it’s not found in the 8-5 routine. And it goes beyond the simple acts of kindness I try to impart as a daily habit. I might have uncovered the solution recently during my morning prayers and devotions, however, an ‘ah ha’ moment of sorts. But more on that later.

Are you living your life’s purpose?

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When we stop trying to plan everything

Last week we celebrated my daughter’s birthday. A day beforehand, I asked her what flavor cupcakes and ice cream she preferred. Surprise me, she said. For a Type A planner, this kind of response causes my heart to race and my palms to sweat. OK, not really, but why make things more complicated than they need to be? In my writing life, I demand certain conditions be met before I write. And, unless I have an outline in place, forget it. Plus, my days must be planned from beginning to end. But, when I don’t allow wiggle room into the equation, I miss out on the opportunity to improvise; to practice patience. To be kind(er). Perhaps instead of crossing every T and dotting each I, we apply a simplified mindset to the moment: a go-with-the-flow approach. A skeleton idea, of sorts—to our day; our (personal) story. Then let the rest be a delicious surprise. P.S. The birthday sweets were a hit.

Do you practice a go-with-the-flow mindset?

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Rx for a woe-is-me mentality

 

I’m not certain when I first noticed, but my heart seems to have settled into a state of continuous gratitude. But then a close friend texts me: a litany of woes in big bold letters followed by Life sucks. Another friend messages me: more discouraging news ending with I’m sick of all the crap. Can I be honest? It’s hard to remain sparkly in the midst of others’ trials without feeling guilty. And it’s not that I don’t experience trials. Because I do. On a regular basis, new or recurring health issues pop up—many of which require ongoing attention. Relationship issues—story of my life. Unrequited dreams—Someday is a promise I must stop making myself. But then I ran across Nisban Panwar’s quote: If you always see the negative side of things, eventually that’s all there is. Always look for the positive no matter how small. This means giving thanks for the ‘sweet and simple pleasures.’ Guilt free.

Which side of thinking do you gravitate toward?

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Fanning the flames

 

Here we are, two months down in the New Year, 10 to go. Some days I think I’ve got the ‘simple thing’ down to an art, other days I flounder with too much to do and less time… to do. When heading more often into the latter direction, it takes effort to jump off the treadmill for a self-prescribed timeout. Remember, too much of a good thing doesn’t mean it’s good for us. When we forget to breathe, we lose ourselves. Last weekend I spent an afternoon with a girlfriend at an outdoor mall. Gorgeous weather, engaging company and I found a couple of fun tops. The following day, a planned ‘make-up’ day, I enjoyed a chunk of time on the patio, along with my daughter, basking in another amazing Southwest afternoon. Consequently, this week is pretty busy, but I’ve spread out my tasks. After all, moments with friends and family—savoring the simple things—fan the flames of my inspiration and my motivation.

What fans your flames?

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Methods to manage morning madness

In my post ‘When your plans are derailed,’ I share my MO when the best laid intentions don’t quite reach fruition. Yesterday was one of those mornings. After a fitful night’s sleep, I started out five minutes late and it went downhill from there. I attempted to cram too much into too little time, couldn’t settle on an outfit until I’d tried on a half dozen combinations, managed only to skim through my devotions and shirked on my quick-clean routine. An obvious glitch in my ‘simple morning’ plans. Sunday night would’ve been the perfect time to jump start my Monday morning, but I putzed around with a puzzle and a movie instead. After a full weekend, it was okay to indulge in down time; however, I could have made better choices that would’ve added to, rather than taken away from, my workday morning practice. Thankfully, I don’t have to wait until Sunday night to try, try again.

What is one tactic you employ to keep workday mornings simple(r)?

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Everything is different, yet unchanged

Just because everything is different
doesn’t mean anything has changed. ~
Irene Peter

Irene Peter’s quote strikes me as simple, yet profound. It brings to mind the passage of time—how the seasons vary according to the earth’s rotation; how our looks mature as we age. Yet while outward appearances might seem different to a casual observer, that doesn’t mean that, inwardly speaking, we feel altered. Years ago, my sweet mama told me how she’d regard herself in the mirror and wonder who the little old lady was staring back at her, because inside she still felt like a young girl. Her then mottled skin, faded hair and weakened eyes made no difference to a heart overflowing with childlike wonder, despite surviving life’s disappointments and setbacks. I oftentimes acknowledge the same thought when I gaze upon my own reflection or review the recent transformation I’ve set in motion in my life. Knowing everything is different, but nothing has changed.

How do you relate to Peter’s quote?

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Sweet and simple pleasures

Recently, while shopping at Dollar Tree, I picked up a little plaque—black background covered with white chalk-like printing in varied fonts. Although a ribbon adorns the top for hanging, it resides propped up on my desk at home. The words etched on the plaque are simple reminders: Love one another, always tell the truth, sweet dreams, say please and thank you, share, play nice, work hard, say your prayers, keep your promises, laugh often. My intention to simplify this year (see ‘keep it simple…‘) encompasses not only my words (let them be fewer), but my schedule (say yes less, rest more), righting wrongs as they occur (rather than harboring bitterness) and recognizing simple pleasures daily. Beginning on day six, I received a hand-written thank you card in the mail—a simple gesture, yet one that seems to be a lost art. I hope to chronicle these treasures throughout 2016, a way to recognize and better appreciate life’s simple sweetness.

What is a recent simple pleasure you’ve encountered?

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A self-help junkie finds simplicity

 

I suppose you could call me a self-help junkie. My latest venture is a 33-day path to purpose, passion & joy through Panache Desai’s book: Discovering Your Soul Signature. In my post, “Dialing down the distractions,” I talk about the benefits of tuning out interruptions. Prior to picking up Desai’s guide, I disconnected from the internet for a short hiatus. Although unplugged for a short time, this exercise in self-control removed a bit of the external chatter to allow me to take a step back and focus inward with fewer diversions. To become more connected with myself. I know I can do all that and still keep up with social media but, as an all-or-nothing type of girl, a fast from Facebook helped me move one step closer to the balance I seek in my life. And it reminded me of an important factor I almost forgot: what simple feels like. I’m excited to see where my new venture guides me.

What does simple feel like to you?

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