Imposter syndrome: 3 tips to flip the script

In the Bucket List Journey, the author asks: “If you had to teach something, what would you teach?” I’ve considered this question often, first upon graduating from ASU as a non-traditional (aka middle-aged) student, followed by earning extra cash as a substitute teacher, while interning and job hunting. And, lately, as I’ve considered ways to expand my reach as a writer. One topic that I struggle with on a regular basis—imposter syndrome, or self-doubt and insecurity—informs my answer to the question. I would teach others how to break through a mindset of limiting beliefs. My limiting beliefs revolve around #allthings writing. Maybe you wonder if you’re cut out to homeschool your children, manage a team of employees or return to school in your 50s. If so, I encourage you to 1) acknowledge your thoughts, 2) put them into perspective and 3) reframe them by focusing on your accomplishments, reflecting on your growth and realizing that your. Dreams. Matter.

How does imposter syndrome show up for you?

Aligning our beliefs, actions

 

[Image credit: digitalart]

If the things we believe are different than the things we do,
there can be no true happiness.
~ Dana Telford

Sometimes we must adjust one or more of our priorities, hopes, dreams, opinions, etc., in order to realign our values or goals. And sometimes that can be scary, painful and not without second guessing, remorse, self-doubt, etc. But if you find yourself in a near-constant state of confusion or conflict, then it’s wise to re-evaluate the things you’re doing to get where you think you want to go. Or perhaps what you believe about others, a situation or yourself is misinformed or untrue. Wherever you find yourself today, know it’s temporary. And be assured our lives are always in a state of flux. If not, we’ve ceased to grow, advance ourselves or contribute meaningfully to our small piece of society. When we’re able to align our beliefs and our actions, even for a day, all feels right—and happy—within our world.

What makes you truly happy?

The right thing

This can be a tough concept in whatever capacity we find ourselves—parent, wife, boyfriend, employee, neighbor—the person whose reflection we meet in the mirror every morning. I don’t know that the execution is the hardest part, but rather coming to the realization and acceptance that both are one in the same. I’ve recently learned that I lean toward passive-aggressive behavior. Although a surprise to me, I can see it originating in my childhood. I am a people pleaser and I never want to disappoint, but somewhere along the line I started to believe I don’t deserve to have my wants or needs met. So I have historically adopted a “martyr-like” mentality and stuffed my real feelings. Obviously, this is counterproductive and little gets resolved except more feelings of inadequacy, bitterness and self-doubt on my part. However, little by little I’m beginning to speak up for myself and do the right thing.

What is one thing in your life that’s been both the hardest and the right thing?

Trust yourself

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.
~ Sylvia Plath

In my opinion, self-doubt is counterproductive to any cause.  Whether you’re writing a book, training for a marathon, participating in a Bikram challenge or hinging your hopes on Someday, once you allow doubt (a close relative of fear) to creep in, your enthusiasm and/or motivation tends to dwindle.  Has anyone ever questioned your intentions and then suddenly the idea or goal you were so excited about seemed silly or unattainable?  Or maybe you wanted to prove your naysayers wrong and ramped up your efforts.  Regardless, insecurity is not our friend because it poisons potential.  Instead, we need to be overcomers in order to transform self-doubt into self-confidence.  We’re the only ones who know how badly we want something.  So we’re the only ones who can determine what it will take to push through the uncertainties and come out ahead.  Trust yourself.  It’s better to fail than never to try.

What is your worst enemy to succeeding in life?