The secret of change, according to Socrates

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy
not on fighting the old, but on building
the new. ~ Socrates.

In my post, ‘Things turn out best for people like this,’ I talk about experiencing the soul-wrenching disappointment when our best laid plans end up going to hell in a hand basket instead. But the more I reflected on how the circumstances of my wake-up call played through, the more convinced I became that, when it appears the bottom fell out, what might be taking shape is the formation of a safety net. Maybe that one thing I had been prepping for, anticipating with every fiber of my being, would not have been in my best interests. Perhaps it would’ve placed me further from my hopes and dreams—the goals that comprise my daily attention. Instead of focusing my energy on fighting the old—the past—however, my eyes are now fixed on the present and building the new.

How do you respond to change?

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The secret to a happy life

Happiness is a by-product of an effort
to make someone else happy.
~ Gretta Brooker Palmer

Palmer’s quote is my new go-to lifestyle. If I feel mopey or like I might be spiraling into a rut, I ask myself who I can bless, if not today, then tomorrow or the next day. And, ideally, I’ll follow up the thought by carrying out a random act of kindness (see ‘kindness is free…’). The act of thinking and/or doing most often pulls me out of my self-inflicted pity party even before I have a chance to invite guests. A woman I know—I’ll call her Mary—is in a long-term relationship with a partner who routinely withholds communication—verbal, as well as touch. Quite often, he goes days without speaking, and he rebuffs any physical affection. Instead of wallowing in loneliness, however, Mary seeks others who need a hug, a smile, a gentle word, a helping hand. Because Mary knows Palmer’s secret too.

How do you turn your frown upside-down?

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A grandiose wish

[Image credit: franky242]

Always remember that the future comes one day at a time. ~ Dean Acheson

The blank piece of paper. The start of a new job. The beginning of a relationship. The trailhead for a hike.  In other words, a best-selling novel, successful career, forever love and latest adventure. Whether we intend it to or not, each commencement comes with our own set of expectations—some realistic, others not so much. Recently, I attended “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” in the theater and was struck by a common theme: facing our fears to experience the beauty of life. Although the main character regularly daydreams his various flights of grandiose adventure and romantic fancy, Mitty learns that when he removes expectation to be present in the grandeur of each moment, his reality far exceeds his fantasy life. At least that’s what I walked away with. And that’s my wish for friends and family—and myself—in this New Year ahead.

What is your biggest wish for the New Year?

Searching for your happy place

[Image credit: Ambro]

Think of all the beauty around you and be happy.
~ Anne Frank

Recently I posted a blog about the road(s) to happiness.  When I checked the blog site analytics the next day, I was amazed to learn that particular post received the highest volume of activity compared to my others.  The fact that people are searching for happiness — most likely typing in many of the keywords I included in my post — should not surprise me.  But it did.  However, perhaps it just means a lot of us are seeking the very same thing and wondering if someone else has it figured out.  And if that’s the case, then we want to know the answer too.  Maybe it would eliminate the need to reinvent the wheel, or keep us from making the same mistakes.  If I had the magic answer to that age-old question, I would bottle it and attempt to make a profit.  But I have a feeling Anne Frank may have figured out the secret a long time ago.  And if she’s right, it means we don’t have to wait until we arrive at our final destination to be happy.  Look around you.  Happy now?

What does your road to happiness look like?