New year, new you: back to the basics

Prior to Jan. 1 each year, I prepare a list of goals to aim toward over the next 365 days. This year was no different; however, come New Year’s Day, I abandoned several of my plans to focus on immediate, more pressing needs: my relational, mental, physical, spiritual and emotional well-being. Although fraught with copious amounts of kicking and screaming, my resolve birthed a new plan to Let go and let God, if you will. Once I stripped away the myriad tasks that occupy my planner and relinquished control of outcome-driven objectives—in other words, after I surrendered my own agenda—I returned to the basics that I write about in “Falling into place…” Not only have I been blessed with second chances, but a foundation has been laid so that, when it’s time to revisit my original goals—maybe where I left off, maybe somewhere different—I’ll be ready. As a new and improved version of me.

What new goals, if any, have you begun in 2018?

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Practice the pause

While scrolling through Facebook the other day, I paused on a friend’s wall whose recent post read: Practice the pause. When in doubt, pause. When angry, pause. When tired, pause. When stressed, pause. And when you pause, pray. The simple definition of pause is a temporary stop or rest. My post, “Sweet and simple…,” stresses my intent to simplify this year, including my speech. And I believe if we observe the art of pause—when in doubt, when angry, when tired, when stressed, whenever it would benefit the situation—while we rest in prayer or in silence during that temporary stop, we might be able to hear the greater needs of others. And then offer to meet those needs with our provisions. It doesn’t cost us anything to pause… except maybe a second chance we’ll never require. But it takes discipline to practice anything, even stopping or resting. It’s a process, this life thing. Be gentle with yourself.

How easy is it for you to practice the pause?

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A rebirth of sorts: happiness at last

As the year draws to a close, and as I grasp tightly (kicking and screaming) the vestiges of my forties for a few days longer, I reflect on that for which I’m grateful: Those friends who have come and gone from my life—the ones who bless me daily, and those who served the sole purpose of teaching me (sometimes painful) lessons; the second chances I’ve been gifted, a new path to traverse—a clean slate, if you will. I’m energized by the possibilities, my heart lighter than ever. And as I step into this new season, I can honestly say I’ve discovered what I’ve been searching for all this time. The funny thing is it’s been right under my nose all along. Because when I finally stopped focusing on me—my needs, my expectations, my self—I understood for the first time what it means to be happy. So happy rebirthday to me… a fresh beginning to sparkle where I’m planted.

Where could you use a rebirth?

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‘Tis the season

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Having a second chance makes you want to work even harder.
~ Tia Mowry

This past week has been a particularly challenging one for my daughter.  She’s had to make some tough decisions and many days all I’ve been able to do is sit back and watch, listen and offer mama-sized hugs.  And although during the last couple of years the dynamics of our mother-daughter relationship have evolved (and I wouldn’t have it any other way), I can’t help but fight the regrets over years’ worth of selfish parenting rather than selfless parenting.  I mentioned my remorse to my best friend and she patted me on the back, then told me the timing is perfect for my daughter now.  Those words encouraged me to begin moving past the misgivings and dwell, instead, on the daily opportunities in front of me to do it right.  Or at least do it better this time around.  Second chances are a beautiful thing.

Have you discovered a new season of do-it-right opportunities?

Life lessons I’ve learned (so far)

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Some people come in your life as blessings.  
Some come in your life as lessons.
~ Anonymous

Not all things are as they appear on the surface.  It’s always the write time but with some matters, it may be too late.  Someday will take care of itself; appreciate what’s in front of your nose Today.  You win some and you lose some.  Mix it up.  Do everything you can to keep out of your self-imposed ruts.  Time flies when you’re having fun, and even when you’re not.  Never make pinky promises you can’t keep.  Purge the past; bury it deeply if you have to.  Laugh at yourself until you cry.  Forgive freely.  Love unabashedly.  Dish out second chances like a lifeline, because that’s what they are and we all need them.  Set boundaries.  Hold the hands tightly of those sharing in your journey and never let go.  Nothing lasts Forever.  And when we get to the end of this life, we’ll discover how short it really was.

What life lessons have you learned lately?