The big picture: sacrificing on the front end

Last Sunday morning, I woke up and declared aloud: “I’m not hiking today”—which was a pretty big deal, since anyone who knows me also knows a trek in the mountains provides me an opportunity to decompress, to recharge and to reconnect with my Maker on a deeper level. However, if past experience taught me anything, it required I consider the plans I hoped to accomplish before lights out that evening. In this particular case, it meant sacrifice on the front end to set myself up for success on the tail end. I spent roughly three hours (factoring in typical commute and trail choice) playing catch up: paperwork, goal setting and household chores. Plus, I prepared a hearty split pea soup for dinner. The pièce de résistance? A strong plan sketched out for the week, month and year ahead. And the bonus: enough time for a wild and crazy Trivial Pursuit game night.

What sacrifice have you made on the front end to realize a successful tail end?

Strong enough, smart enough and brave enough: all you have to do is ask

 

Be strong enough to stand alone,
smart enough to know when you need help,
and brave enough to ask for it.
~ Ziad K. Abdelnour

I’m not sure if it’s a Type A thing, or just a fragment of my own personal makeup; however, I feel that the practice of enlisting the help of others is oftentimes viewed as a sign of vulnerability rather than a display of strength. The writing life is typically a solitary endeavor but, after juggling, rearranging and finagling my schedule (see “The price of sacrifice…”), I finally conceded I needed assistance to pursue my vocational goals. This meant approaching my little family and informing them when I would be unavailable, and then pinning my boss down to ask for additional flexibility in my “9-5” work schedule. All it took was a little smarts and a whole lot of bravery to walk away with blessings from all parties. And a renewed sense of my purpose.

What do you need to ask for help with?

Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Jump right in: approaching everyday life

Yesterday I registered for NaNoWriMo. For readers unfamiliar with this acronym, National Novel Writing Month is an annual, internet-based creative writing project that takes place during the month of November, and where participants attempt to write a 50,000-word manuscript. Although I’m excited to share the group energy and online support, I’m even more eager to implement a concept that occurred to me as I tried to wrap up my book outline (yes, I’m a planner/plotter vs. pantser). I can either wait until it makes sense (how often does that happen?), or I can jump in and figure out the details later. And not just with regard to my novel, but also my crazy busy life. In my post, “The price of sacrifice…,” I mention re-examining my needs and wants and here’s what I’ve got: they will (likely) be forever imbalanced. This means that, at times, I’ll just take the plunge and figure it out as I go. Kind of like a pantser.

How do you approach everyday life?

Photo courtesy of tuelekza at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

The price of sacrifice: a necessary evil to create space, balance

The boss and I were discussing a non-work-related topic and I mentioned “not having time.” He said that depended on the level of importance I placed on accomplishing a particular task. And that it would, of course, require a sacrifice of something else on my agenda. Ah yes, the sacrifice. Herein lies the conundrum: I refuse to surrender a couple big-ticket commitments. Although I’ve unloaded one burden (see “When you run out of margin…”) that will free up space, I still struggle to carve out time to do the things I need to do and those things I want to do. Not to mention the 7-8 hours of sleep I should log in each night. I’ve juggled, rearranged and finagled my morning and evening schedules. I’ve simplified, multitasked, prioritized and modified habits and routines. Yet I continue to wrestle with this challenge. Perhaps the answer is to re-examine my needs and wants to find a balance between the two.

What are you willing to sacrifice for more time?

You are stronger than you think you are: kick your obstacles to the curb

If I plan to do what I’m doing for a long time (see What’s ‘in’ this season…), then I must quit talking about modifying my lifestyle and do it. If I hope to hike, work out, practice yoga and maintain a youthful spirit, these changes need to stick rather than serve as sporadic patches until the seams unravel. My mortality hit home the other night while I watched an eye-opening documentary about sugar, and its adverse effects on our bodies and minds, and realized my addiction to the sweet stuff will either set me up for an early grave or problems I’ve already begun to experience in small doses. I have a plan, however: to become healthier and stronger during the next 17 months, and to reverse any negative effects of poor lifestyle choices. If I am willing to sacrifice my time and effort for others, then I should believe in myself enough to make sacrifices for a greater me.

What is an obstacle you seek to overcome?

Living a double life

[Image credit: adamr]

Throughout my life, I’ve known people who I eventually discover aren’t who I thought they were. The kind who allow others to see what they want them to see on the surface, while hiding their genuine self behind a carefully crafted façade. Maybe they’re afraid of what others might think or say about them if they knew the truth. Personally speaking, for the past few years, I’ve been living a double life of sorts—pinning my hopes on a fantasy, rather than facing my reality. As I’ve said countless times, hope is good. And it’s healthy to visualize the life we want for ourselves. However, it becomes self-destructive when our present happiness hinges on the life we desire, rather than the one we’re living. Sometimes we’re lucky and we can have our cake and eat it too, but if we compromise who we are in the process, it’s time to ask ourselves if the sacrifice is really worth it.

In what way are you living a double life?

Home, sweet home

[Image credit: Sura Nualpradid ]

We are homesick most for the places we have never known.
~ Carson McCullers

I wonder if this quote refers to exotic locales for the homebody, or the comfortable craziness of a loving family for the orphaned, or a whirlwind book-signing tour for the aspiring author or possibly the fairytale union for the romantic inside many of us.  Although personal experience is lacking in areas we’ve never seen or heard, tasted or touched, I believe there may be a part of us longingly wishing for these places McCullers writes about.  Perhaps this is where our pie-in-the-sky dreams are born and why we oftentimes make sacrifices in the name of glamour, unconditional acceptance, success or happily-ever-after.  Or maybe we are the holdouts, persevering until we attain it all — the whole package.  And instead of glitz and fanfare or whatever it is we had hoped for, we’re surrounded by a quiet confidence because we know we’re finally home.

Can you think of a particular place you’re homesick for?

Going through the motions

[Image credit: savit keawtavee]

Another life lesson I’ve learned is that sometimes we have to dance the dance — go through the motions — even when we don’t want to.  As with most things in life, it takes two (or more) to tango.  And over the years, our dance partners range from boyfriends or girlfriends to spouses or children.  Or all of the above.  These moves we’re practicing possess names such as compromise, commitment, sacrifice.  So day in and day out, we go through the motions.  Sometimes we trip up, but for the most part, we muddle through.  Although no pomp and circumstance trails in our wake and no fireworks light the sky, in time we may recognize a sense of contentment filing the empty spaces.  Perhaps former dreams finally receive that facelift we’ve been saving for.  Then, if we’re lucky, when Someday arrives we’ll be dancing because we want to.

Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we’re here we should dance.  ~ Author Unknown

Do you dance because you have to, or want to?

C is for compromise

[Image credit: sippakorn]

I live in the Southwest where we don’t turn the clocks back an hour for Daylight Saving Time, or set them an hour ahead in the fall.  And most of my family and friends live in the Midwest or East Coast, which means we are up to three hours off.  So scheduling visits or making phone calls can be challenging and oftentimes doesn’t happen because we missed that “window” of opportunity.  Not too long ago, an East Coast friend would wait until I tried to accomplish all of my tasks before we hopped online.  It finally got to the point where compromise seemed a better solution; i.e., visit while it’s still relatively early on their end, and I can finish what I need to once we’ve said our goodnights.  Of course it’s tempting to visit longer, but keeping disciplined allows my friend to log a sufficient amount of Zzzs and me to get my stuff done.  Compromise doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice our friendship; it simply means making concessions for the good of it.  Imagine all the areas in life that could benefit from a little bit of compromise.

Do you demand your own way, or is compromise your middle name?

Easy is not always better

[Image credit: cbenjasuwan]

For over two weeks now, I’ve been experimenting with my diet.  My stomach has caused me grief for at least four months and so I took things into my own hands, thinking perhaps I’m dealing with a food allergy.  For the first seven days, I restricted my choices to just fruits and vegetables, eaten in small amounts every few hours.  Over the following week, I started introducing new foods such as oats and eggs, quinoa and dark chocolate, sprouted bread and almond milk.  For the most part, the milder the choices have produced better results.  But sometimes I can’t explain the discomfort.  And the restrictions have been challenging; I miss my protein bars and frozen yogurt, cheese and crackers (to name a few of my favorites).  But the sacrifice is nothing compared to the moments when my stomach feels good, “normal.”  I think about how easy it would be to get lazy and do what comes easy.  But like with everything else in life, the best things — the most rewarding outcomes — are the ones that come with a few aches and (growing) pains along the way.  At least that’s been my experience.

What sacrifice(s) have you made today for a better tomorrow?