Allow time, space to heal sting of rejection

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The sting of rejection lasts well after the jab hits its mark. I guarantee that most people can relate to this truth at some point in their lives. For me, these words hit home on multiple fronts. From a new acquaintance to a long-time girlfriend to close family members, I bear emotional wounds that tear open each time I’m rebuffed. Yet, I’ve been told I’m too sensitive, that I take things too seriously. And when my chest tightens, awash in near-debilitating sadness, sometimes I question my sanity: Am I too sensitive? Do I take things too seriously? Let me be transparent here: I am flawed. I screw up often. I jump to conclusions, respond with unkind words, hurt those I love. I also apologize, attempt to make amends and right the wrongs. But today, if you notice my sparkle shines less bright, forgive me. I might be allowing time and space to heal a reopened scab imprinted across my heart.

How do you process the sting of rejection?

Photo courtesy of suphakit73 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Four ways to flush out frustration

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Flush out frustration

The cure for anything is salt water:
sweat, tears or the sea. ~ Isak Dinesen

Many of my posts are written as reminders: I am good enough, strong enough, life is a journey, blah blah blah. Do I believe any of it? Yes. Do I ascribe to any of it? Sometimes. But let’s face it: I am not sparkly 24/7. I feel frustration, anger, disappointment, rejection. I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, forget to wear my crown, try to do it all and fail. I even manifest expectations onto my friends: Bam, it’s your fault I’m frustrated. Instead of allowing frustration to suck our lifeblood, however, flush it out. 1) Accept reality: if we can’t change it, then either live with it or be the change we wish to see. 2) Shift focus: involve ourselves in our favorite work, pastime, etc. 3) Exercise: exorcise those demons with sweat, tears (or the sea). 4) Journal it and/or talk it out.

What’s your remedy for frustration?

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Third time’s the charm

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[Image credit: Michal Marcol]

Sometimes our first attempt at a feat is an epic fail.  Of course, this makes it harder to go for it a second time but, if it’s important enough, we’ll give it the old “college try.”  When that effort is a total disaster, however, a third shot at it is highly unlikely.  Unless we remember that often, the third time’s the charm — the magical victory to a losing streak.  Last week I received my second “no” on a piece I’m writing.  I was given guidance after the first submission and rejection, as well as on the most recent one but I hope the third time is truly the charm.  Especially because I’m not sure what more I have to offer.  But I know it’s preparing me for the bigger stuff — when it comes to chapters and whole sections of that book I’m planning to write … Someday.  Hopefully by then all of my practice will pay off the first time.

How many times before you cut your losses?

Bottling the joy

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[Image credit: markuso]

Joy is the will which labors, which overcomes obstacles,
which knows triumph. ~ William Butler Yeats

When my daughter was little, we enjoyed a particularly joy-filled day.  I emailed her dad something along the lines of wishing I could bottle the day, so that on the hard ones, I could pop the cork and remember our good times.  Over the years, on those not so great days, her dad made it a habit to forward me that same email and I’d reflect on our special day.  Although I haven’t seen the email for many years now, there are still times in my life I wish I could bottle, events I could replay — those instances where all is fleetingly right with the world.  Especially on days when I feel like I’m spinning my wheels in limbo or feeling the sting of rejection.  On days like that I would uncork the bottle and allow the sweet memories to bathe me in their heady tonic, reminding me of my worth.  Of course, it doesn’t work like that.  The highs are highs and the lows are lows.  But as Yeats suggests, when I overcome the obstacles, my joy will be waiting.

How do you “bottle” the highs?