Breaking free: rote action is no action

 

I write about change. About Someday. About setting goals, taking baby steps, chasing dreams. Extending kindness and sparkles. Eliminating toxic people from our lives; hopefulness. Perseverance. What’s next. And then I “get” busy. Push it all to the back of my closet as I flit from task to task. Pretend I’ve taken hold of life by its proverbial horns. But my tiara is tarnished and I’m tired and all I want to do is jump off the non-stop roller coaster and figure stuff out before it’s too late. I think, for me, discontent no longer points to an unrealized purpose but, rather, my own personal purgatory where life isn’t just passing me by (see “Take action…”). Instead, it’s the rotten stench of anguish and despair that almost suffocates and renders me ineffective. Rote action is no action. Busy-ness can only put off, so long, what must be accomplished to escape from the grip of fear: of failure, regret. The unknown. So, what’s next?

How will you break free?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Righting wrongs, mending hearts

Over the past several weeks, I’ve initiated a concerted effort to make amends with people I’ve hurt, owning up to my wrongs—taking ownership for unkind words and broken promises (see ‘Turn the page to begin anew’). Perhaps you are convinced someone close to you betrayed you and, without seeking any kind of validation, you succumbed to rash assumptions and drastic measures. Then, too late, you realized your erroneous thinking. It really doesn’t matter who was to blame because, in the end, it takes at least two. And love refuses to demand its own way. Consequently, all you can do is accept your personal role in the situation and ensure that your actions, moving forward, coincide with your words. In time the door to reconciliation might open but, until then, I suggest you offer up forgiveness and goodwill. When we accept responsibility, it doesn’t expunge our wrongs, yet it does free our hearts and minds from bitterness and regret.

Is there a wrong you need to right today?

Image courtesy of cbenjasuwan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Turn the page to begin anew

The first blank page of 2016 arrives with good intentions: Simplicity. Balance. Happiness, health and wellness. Just when we thought it was safe, in creeps remnants of discouragement. Wait, didn’t we leave that behind at 11:59 p.m. on New Year’s Eve? As I folded and put away a couple days’ worth of clean laundry this morning, I reflected on how, when not managed immediately (or within a reasonable amount of time), the wash and myriad household tasks pile up much like the residual of unkind words, broken promises and unrealized expectations—all of which weigh us down with disappointment, regrets or hurt. I suggest, instead, we do what we can in an allotted period of time; i.e., spend XX minutes each day working on housekeeping tasks or making an effort to right a wrong, and then be done with it. Let it go, whatever it is. And with intention, choose to travel lighter, unburdened. Then turn the page to begin anew.

How did your New Year’s Day transpire?

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Revisiting the monkey mind

Ever get accused of thinking too much? Making assumptions? Complicating things? I’ve heard it said that men’s minds organize thoughts into neat compartments, or boxes, while women’s minds navigate the tangled and vast circuitry of cyberspace. Yet, I take it a step further with “monkey mind.” Unsettled, restless. It only stops jumping around during yoga practice and while I’m sleeping, although I beg to differ with the latter. In the mornings, I awaken tired and cranky. Without ambition. It could be a few health issues I’m dealing with, but mostly it’s a mind that won’t stay still. It worries and plans, it regrets and rehashes, it hopes and prays, it bargains and posits assorted scenarios; it begs me to make changes that my heart, when I’m conscious, refuses to acquiesce. In my post, From the inside out, I talk about how to focus on breath to tame the chatter. But I also think there comes a time to simply let go.

How do you tame a monkey mind?

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Make each moment outstanding

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

What do you really, truly want to do with all that you have? This is your chance to make it happen. Don’t waste this moment regretting other moments in your past, or fearing moments to come. Live this moment with joy, gratitude and positive purpose. Let go of the thoughts that bring you down. Live today in a way that lifts you up, and all of life with you. Stop repeating the same old tired excuses to yourself and to others. Choose now to be free of the limitations you’ve invented for yourself. Everything necessary for joy and fulfillment is with you right here and now. Because all it really takes is you, and your choice to fully live. Stop waiting, stop wishing, and stop putting off the rich fulfillment you know can be yours. Now is your moment to live like you mean it, with all that you have, so seize this grand opportunity and make it outstanding. ~ Ralph Marston

How do you make it outstanding?

On resolve and regret

[Image credit: digitalart]

I’d rather regret the things I’ve done
Than the things I haven’t done. ~ Lucille Ball

Remember the flutter of anticipation you’d feel first thing in the morning upon waking, like you’re on the cusp of something big? And then you’d recall: today is my birthday or I’m leaving for vacation or I start a new job. None of these moments are in my peripheral vision at present, but I feel as if I’m teetering on the edge of something big; several little changes and life experiences appear to be leading toward a shift in direction. I wish GPS would offer me a bit of guidance right about now, but at some point we’ve either prepared ourselves for this journey or we wing it. Or, we do nothing at all and wait for life to pass us by. That’s a choice each of us has to make. And it could get messy. But I know what I’d regret the most.

Is your path paved with resolve or regrets?

Try thankfulness

 

 

[Image credit: David Castillo Dominici]

If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness.
It will change your life mightily.
~ Gerald Good

Several people in my life are struggling with illness and chronic pain.  Others are in dire financial straits.  At least two friends suffer from psychological issues and medication side effects; a few couples are going through the motions; an acquaintance goes to work and stagnates a little more each day.  A father sacrifices in the name of love.  Loss, heartache, regrets, poor choices.  Each of us bears our own cross.  But in the midst of it, finding one thing to be thankful for may make all the difference in the world.  Perhaps the person ahead of you in line paid for your coffee this morning.  Or you find the missing five dollars tucked between the receipts in your wallet.  A kind word spoken.  Second chances.  Pep-talks.  Another sunrise and sunset.  Every day find one thing to be thankful for.  It could just change everything.

What’s on your holiday agenda?

A sneak peek

[Image credit: farconville]

Fiction gives us a second chance that life denies us.
~ Paul Theroux

When it comes to reading, I typically select fiction.  I think it’s easier to escape into someone else’s imagination, made-up places and people and events.  And other times, nonfiction helps me relate or be encouraged by another person’s real-life trials and triumphs.  When it comes to writing, however, I tend to stick with the former but draw on real life to fuel the hopes and dreams that make up the second chances Theroux talks about.  I wouldn’t go so far as to say we’re denied a certain life — unless it is through circumstances beyond our control that we find ourselves in the place we’re standing.  But I think if we allow it, fiction enables us to try our ideas on for size before Someday rolls around.  A sneak peek, if you will.  Or a second chance without life’s inevitable risks and no regrets.  How cool is that?

What’s your passion: fiction or nonfiction and why?

Outsmarting our demons

[Image credit: frederico stevanin]

On average, I spend close to six hours at the gym per week.  Add to that another couple of hours pursuing other physical activity, like walking, hiking and swimming (learning to dance is still a goal for 2012).  My reasons are simple: strengthen my bones, keep in shape, maintain my sanity and fight this aging thing (kicking and screaming the whole way).  Over the past few weeks, however, each time I’ve slipped on my tennis shoes or weight gloves, I’ve been attempting to outrun, out row, out spin, out lift and out step my demons.  You know the ones.  The should’ves, would’ves, could’ves that haunt during waking hours; the doubts or regrets we take to bed each night.  That’s because no matter how hard we try to outmaneuver them, they’ll hang on until we fight back.  And just like we need to identify and address our “ickies,” we must outsmart our demons — no matter what it takes.

Do you have a demon or two that require outsmarting?

Explore, dream, discover

[Image credit: taoty]

20 years from now you will be disappointed by the things you didn’t do
than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover. ~ Mark Twain

One of my friends was told she was crazy to pursue her dreams.  That her aspirations would likely fail as so many who have gone before her.  She posted this on Facebook and received an outpouring of support in response, several mirroring the words of Mark Twain.  As for me, I don’t want to look back Someday and regret not: losing my heart, taking a chance, following my goals.  Because Someday, it will be too late.  A few months ago, I was faced with a choice between one of two things.  Before making the decision,  I asked myself which one I would regret.  I didn’t have to think twice, made my commitment and never looked back.  Thanks to another friend, I’ve heard this is the key: once the choice has been made, no second-guessing or disappointments are allowed.  Sometimes this philosophy is hard to stick to.  But as life continues to move forward at warp speed, I realize more and more that I would rather take the risk of falling, than never leave the starter’s box.  I figure that skinned knees are a lot easier to fix than unrealized dreams.

How are you going to explore, dream and discover today?