I quit.

One day, you wake up and just know it’s time to say, “I quit.” I quit the negative self-talk. I quit complaining. I quit obsessing (see “A time for everything…”). I quit whatever no longer serves me—the toxic behaviors that harm vs. heal, the co-dependent relationships that eclipse vs. edify, saying “yes” when I mean “no.” I quit making excuses and, instead, take ownership of my decisions, my goals, my commitments, my successes—and my failures. I quit piling on the unrealistic expectations, and replace them with my victories, big and small. I quit dreaming new dreams without attaching wings: the tangible steps I must take to create the reality my heart envisions. One day, you wake up and just know it’s time to say, “I begin.” And embrace every thrill ride, every bump, bruise and disappointment because it means you’re alive and present in this moment. That you’re breathing and you were created for a purpose.

What do you need to quit in order to begin?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Set it and let it go: how to be fully present

 

This past week I attended a gong meditation at the yoga studio where I practice. If you’ve never tried a gong “bath,” I highly recommend it—if only for a bit of respite from the outside world. The benefits? I’ve read that the sound of the gong cuts through our mental chatter—the monkey mind—to create a meditative state of deep relaxation to promote healing and stress reduction. Talk about a win-win. Personally speaking, I also experienced an emotional release, including overwhelming gratitude that began in the mountains earlier that day to return full circle on my mat, tears streaming down my face. In addition, I learned that when we set an intention, it’s good to set it and let it: go. Oftentimes we get stuck on the expectation behind our intention, which can lead to disappointment. However, when we practice “setting it and letting it go,” we free ourselves to remain fully present in the moment.

What intention do you need to set and let go?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Keep your eyes on the prize: how to quiet the chatter and remain present

During a recent visit with my acupuncturist, I informed her that the chatter in my mind overwhelmed me. She treated me accordingly and I walked out of her office feeling calm, centered. As I drove home that evening, I contemplated how easy it is to become preoccupied by distractions that don’t serve or advance our purpose. How we get wrapped up in the news, TV, politics, social media or anything else that adds to the “chatter.” I’m not advocating ignorance: it’s important to remain educated on what’s taking place around us—near and far. And to get involved in whatever capacity we’re able. But here’s where we must be mindful: If we spend more time immersed in diversions, we begin to worry, play the comparison game, make excuses and turn inward. Live in our own little worlds. If we keep our eyes on the prize, however, it’s easier to quiet the chatter and remain present. To make a difference.

How do you keep your eyes on the prize?

Photo source: http://www.ideapod.com.

The secret of change, according to Socrates

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy
not on fighting the old, but on building
the new. ~ Socrates.

In my post, ‘Things turn out best for people like this,’ I talk about experiencing the soul-wrenching disappointment when our best laid plans end up going to hell in a hand basket instead. But the more I reflected on how the circumstances of my wake-up call played through, the more convinced I became that, when it appears the bottom fell out, what might be taking shape is the formation of a safety net. Maybe that one thing I had been prepping for, anticipating with every fiber of my being, would not have been in my best interests. Perhaps it would’ve placed me further from my hopes and dreams—the goals that comprise my daily attention. Instead of focusing my energy on fighting the old—the past—however, my eyes are now fixed on the present and building the new.

How do you respond to change?

Image courtesy of mrpuen at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

An amazing life

I spent the past 31 days reciting a positive affirmation each morning. I practice Bikram yoga, attend church, volunteer my time, share laughter with friends and family, work in a field I’m passionate about and engage in fulfilling hobbies. I wake up every day and choose happiness, yet I seem to be missing something. Through Family Share and its 15 steps to ensure an amazing life, however, I discovered a few missing links.

1. Connect with yourself and others
2. Live in the present
3. Always create
4. Cultivate an “attitude of gratitude”
5. Choose a mentor wisely
6. Give your body the gift of rest and relaxation
7. Eat for happiness (skip processed foods, enjoy healthy fats)
8. Cleanse your body
9. Cleanse your mind
10. Cleanse your spirit
11. Establish healthy boundaries
12. Let go of anything that doesn’t serve you
13. Set SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, timely)
14. It’s a practice, not a perfect
15. Help others

Where do you miss the mark?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Living in the ‘ah-ha’ moment

 

Ever know something in your head, yet it never reached your heart until you experienced an ah-ha moment? That was me the other day during Bikram yoga practice. While bending and stretching, healing my body from the inside out, something the teacher said, something I’ve heard repeatedly (and ramble about in my blogs), pierced my soul, brought tears to my eyes. I say it this way in “Maybe it’s about the story:” We’re told that in life, it’s about the journey, not the destination. The same is true… [in] yoga: it’s not about the final expression—it’s all about the process. I finally get it. To enjoy the journey—the process—removes expectation and allows us to live in the moment. To immerse ourselves. To treasure the person, place or thing with no attachment to the past or the future. And when we do that, we discover peace in the present. I just hope it’s not too late to practice what I’ve learned.

What’s your latest ah-ha moment?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

 

It’s all a process: enjoy it

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

With one more day to go of my “change your life in 14-days” challenge, I wish I would’ve seen more of an outward transformation. Actually, I’m kind of stressed out almost more than when I began. I’m at a point in my life—that mid-life point—where I’m questioning my destination. I have all these aspirations and dreams and feel like I’m getting no closer. Yet I also recently celebrated three years at my publishing position, the job that supports these aspirations and is in a field I’m passionate about. My boss treated me to lunch and we discussed my workload, education plans, career goals, etc. Over a balsamic spinach salad and lemon ice water, he advised me to give myself a break and, as much as I want to “get somewhere,” to remember to enjoy the process. As a yogi who knows living in the present is where peace is found (see “Practicing patience, perseverance”), it was a much-needed wake-up call.

How’s the process going for you?

Practicing patience, perseverance

[Image credit: David Castillo Dominici]

If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.
~ Lao Tzu

I was ticking off complaints to a friend the other day because I’ve been stuck in an uncomfortable season for…well, a season. Often I look for an easy way out, but I was reminded if I attempt to avoid discomfort, it’s possible I’ll forgo a boatload of newfound strength and courage. Plus, the easy way doesn’t always mean the right way. And, if something is worth fighting for, then all the disappointments and frustrations I endure will serve as a reminder to hold on even tighter once I’ve reached my destination. No need to worry if I’m not where I want to be or think I should be now. What’s most important, in my opinion, is practicing patience and perseverance, while finding peace in the present.

What’s your MO for handling a difficult season?

Self-talk your way toward happiness

[Image credit: digitalart]

I’m over half way through my 30-day happiness challenge and still going strong. It has become a game I play each day as I seek out those things I can see or taste or touch or hear that make me happy. I also find I’m more present in every moment, savoring it as if it’s a favored piece of chocolate. The topic of happiness has been coming up wherever I turn, too. And whether it’s Pharrell Williams singing on my car stereo, or the media promising it holds the secret of happiness, there’s always the same disclaimer: happiness begins within ourselves. Which goes back to living with intent. With that said, one article I read shared a few thoughts we can start employing today toward happiness:

1.      Whatever I’m going through will pass.
2.      I am never alone.
3.      Every dark (or slightly dirty) cloud has a silver lining (somewhere).
4.      Slow down, breathe and tackle one thing at a time.

What is your self-talk mantra toward happiness?

Word-of-the-month: wake-up call (n.)

[Image credit: Arvind Balaraman]

Last year the word-of-the-month landed on Memorial Day, too (see fealty).  This year the word is wake-up call.  One online dictionary defines it as “something that serves to alert a person to a problem, danger, or need.”  For some it may be the current state of our country’s political affairs; for others, one of the recent devastating weather events.  For me, a few health issues and the death of a former colleague have forced me to open my eyes.  What I’ve seen is I’ve put certain areas of my life on hold to hitch my dreams on an uncertain future.  Someday.  The day when it all comes together.  But my wake-up call says differently.  Today might be it: the desert my ocean; the articles I’ve had published the only time I see my name in print … happily-ever-after may simply exist in fairytales.  And as much as I want to believe, I need to work with what I’ve got: the present.

What is your most recent wake-up call?