Rx for a woe-is-me mentality

 

I’m not certain when I first noticed, but my heart seems to have settled into a state of continuous gratitude. But then a close friend texts me: a litany of woes in big bold letters followed by Life sucks. Another friend messages me: more discouraging news ending with I’m sick of all the crap. Can I be honest? It’s hard to remain sparkly in the midst of others’ trials without feeling guilty. And it’s not that I don’t experience trials. Because I do. On a regular basis, new or recurring health issues pop up—many of which require ongoing attention. Relationship issues—story of my life. Unrequited dreams—Someday is a promise I must stop making myself. But then I ran across Nisban Panwar’s quote: If you always see the negative side of things, eventually that’s all there is. Always look for the positive no matter how small. This means giving thanks for the ‘sweet and simple pleasures.’ Guilt free.

Which side of thinking do you gravitate toward?

Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net.

Dress for success

If we manifest the fruition of our thoughts—whether negative or positive—it makes sense that if we desire a given outcome, we’ll make every effort to emulate, create space for, focus on, the end result. In other words, between point A and point B, we must work to attract victory. The law of attraction reveals that very thing: we attract more of what we focus on. This holds true in spite of what we seek. The more we complain or wallow in self-pity, the more we bring the same upon us. So if we were to desire a high-powered job and our position is entry level, we must dress for the goal our eye is fixed upon. If we aspire to be an artist, musician, academic, writer, dancer, etc., we’ll create space to study and practice our craft and surround ourselves with like-minded souls. Misery loves company, because misery is not alone. Positive thinking begets positive results. I choose the latter.

How do you dress for success?

Make each moment outstanding

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

What do you really, truly want to do with all that you have? This is your chance to make it happen. Don’t waste this moment regretting other moments in your past, or fearing moments to come. Live this moment with joy, gratitude and positive purpose. Let go of the thoughts that bring you down. Live today in a way that lifts you up, and all of life with you. Stop repeating the same old tired excuses to yourself and to others. Choose now to be free of the limitations you’ve invented for yourself. Everything necessary for joy and fulfillment is with you right here and now. Because all it really takes is you, and your choice to fully live. Stop waiting, stop wishing, and stop putting off the rich fulfillment you know can be yours. Now is your moment to live like you mean it, with all that you have, so seize this grand opportunity and make it outstanding. ~ Ralph Marston

How do you make it outstanding?

Step 3 toward a happier me (and you)

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

If you need to catch up with my ramblings and rhetoric to understand my recent fixation, read my posts Two weeks to a new, improved you and Step 2 toward making a positive change in your life in only 14 days. Once you’ve listed everyone and everything that zaps you of energy (step 2), it’s time to focus on the third step: develop your energy-renewal program; i.e., what you need to change in order to be happier and get you on the right path. If you’re not satisfied with your body image, for example, make a plan (keep it real!) to eat healthier (e.g., reduce refined sugar and flour, eat more greens, limit those chips and salsa), log in more Zzzzzs each night (which takes care of a myriad health concerns) and/or make an appointment to address those migraine headaches plaguing you on a semi-regular basis. If your career is stalled, start networking—or consider an entirely new employment focus.

What one thing will renew your energy today?

Sustaining the sparkle

 

As I wrote about in Sparkling affirmations, if we’re alive, we’re going to get knocked down. Maybe not daily, but it will happen. However, we cannot allow another person or circumstance the power to keep us there. During a recent yoga practice, the teacher shared her personal testimony of an unpleasant situation she’d taken to heart, but then acknowledged she doesn’t always act the way she should or speak with kindness. So before she let the unpleasantries ruin her day, she released the damaging energy. Imagine if she had held onto it, how that may have affected her evening or the next class she taught. Just as we are in control of our own happiness, we choose how we react to positive or negative situations. I appreciated the reminder because, lately, I’ve been fixating on and allowing the littlest of items to get under my skin, ultimately dulling my sparkle. Thus taking away from the things—and people—which matter most.

What’s your secret to sustaining the sparkle?

What we focus on expands

[Image credit: adamr]

Last week I heard the comment: whatever you focus on expands … so make sure you don’t stare at your rear end too long.  Once I got past the humor, I started thinking about the meaning behind the words.  For example, focusing on your vocation means your future prospects should expand.  If you concentrate on your education, your knowledge will increase.  Read more, and your vocabulary and comprehension will improve.  Two of my nieces have focused on their families and, between the two of them, I’m the great auntie of 18 amazing kids.  I think it can be even easier than that, however.  If you focus on the positive, more of the good things in your life are illuminated.  Conversely, if you focus on the negative, it may seem like you’re down on your luck more often than not.  What we focus on expands.  I’m going to start with love and patience and go from there.

What is one thing you wish to see expand in your life?

Maximizing our strengths

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

Not too long ago, I listened to a talk given on the topic of strengths and weaknesses.  The gist of the message revolved around those assessments we take which give an idea of our employment aptitude: what we would do best and where we would fit in.  One of the results discussed that instead of working on our weaknesses, perhaps we should maximize, or build up, our strengths.  It went on to recommend surrounding ourselves with others who then complement our strengths in order to successfully get the job done.   Whether we’re at work or in our personal lives, I think this is a viable concept to consider.  Of course, if we have a weakness like control or anger issues, it wouldn’t hurt to work on improvement in this area.  Maybe focusing on what we do right will result in doing it even better, ultimately minimizing the negative while emphasizing the positive.   It’s definitely worth contemplating.

Do you prefer to maximize your strengths or focus on your weaknesses?

Allowing your past to dictate your future

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

During a recent conversation with a friend, I mentioned a mutual acquaintance had recently married for the third time.  Do you think it will work out this time? he asked me.  Ever the romantic, I responded in the affirmative.  Do you? I asked.  His response was negative, with his reasoning that: History repeats itself.  Of course, this isn’t a new concept, especially when reviewing much of our country’s history.  It can also be seen in my college grades (summa cum laude), my employment reviews (good ones!) and the list goes on, which is added proof that positive or negative, history oftentimes lends itself to repeated behaviors and events.  I’d like to think, however, that if we learn from both our poor, as well as our wise choices — and take that knowledge with us as we move forward — then to me, this is the best way for history to repeat itself.  And possibly to have the last laugh.

Do you allow your past to dictate your future?

Blessings in disguise

[Image credit: Vlado]

I don’t like to sit still.  Unless it’s my choice.  A week ago I fell and sprained my ankle at the end of a 3 1/2 mile run, forcing me to forfeit the gym and stay off my feet more rather than less.  That also meant no repeat of last Tuesday’s sunset hike in the mountains, and no spin class during the past seven days.  But what it has meant is an excuse to curl up on my sofa (with the injured leg elevated, of course) and catch a long-anticipated movie on Netflix, guilt-free.  And instead of dealing with a crowded, noisy restaurant over the weekend, we invited out-of-town relatives to mi casa for a home cooked meal.  In addition, last night we unanimously (albeit silently) declared family TV night for more hours than I care to admit.  Plus, I had a chance to face a critical decision head-on with time to weigh the pros and cons.  In response to a photo of my swollen ankle I posted on Facebook, a couple of my friends jokingly commented that exercise is bad.  Actually, I think my injury produced a few blessings in disguise.

When has something negative happened to you that turned out to be positive in the long run?