Delete, delete, delete: A better way to break free from toxic thinking

The other day I sat in a messy space of negativity. You could say I wallowed in it (not a pretty picture). The following morning, I began writing an email to a friend listing all the moody details. After about 20 minutes of spewing onto the “page,” I backspaced through the majority of the conversation. At the same time, a lightbulb popped on to reveal an ah-ha moment: If we could visualize ourselves backspacing (or deleting) over a negative script in our minds—hurtful comments received or spoken, limiting beliefs that continue to bombard our thoughts—how would that affect our moods, our days…the quality of our lives? Personally, I prefer to live without any reminders that I “screwed up again” and to focus on the clean page. To fill that space with positive affirmations, words of gratitude and encouragement (to myself and others). And to quickly “backspace” whenever I find myself trapped in another endless loop of toxic thinking.

How do you keep from rehashing negative thoughts?

Walking proof: the catalyst to inspire

After a recent sweat session—aka Bikram yoga class—I conversed with a young lady who practices at the same studio. Her story inspires: 50 pounds heavier last year, she suffered with depression perpetuated by the chronic recitation of self-defeating thoughts and words. One day, she began to listen to and read positive affirmations daily and also established an at-home yoga practice. These new habits served as the catalyst for the person she is today, one who exudes confidence from the sparkle in her eyes to the smile that lights up her face. She knows she’s amazing and beautiful (she repeats this mantra habitually). What’s her secret? She mentioned synchronicity—the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection. Yet we both know it’s what I tout in my posts: That what we think, what we believe and what we speak are essential to attracting abundance in our lives. This young lady is walking proof.

What does your life prove about you?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Monday’s got me like oh. My. Gosh.

Have I mentioned I can’t even? My mojo-with-a-twist intentions out the window faster than the weekend flew by, I realize one thing: I need to get it together ASAP. Apply, with abundance, positive affirmations to my day—my life—and get a grip. It’s one thing to tout an attitude of gratitude, it’s another to live it. Plus it’s not getting any easier. In fact, more often than not, I want to call in sick. From the mundane to the earth-shattering, I just can’t seem to walk the talk. I wrestle with my demons. I struggle with my monkey mind. I’m tired. Yet I hesitate to be real, to be honest. Because it’s not attractive. And someone else lives with a much harder row to hoe than I do. But then I run across my “Rx for a woe-is-me mentality:” If you always see the negative side of things, eventually that’s all there is. Reality check: thank God tomorrow is a new day.

How do you survive Mondays?

Image courtesy of aechan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Mojo with a twist: positive affirmations

The last day of my 30-Day Reboot Challenge came and went with very little fanfare. Maybe because I got off track at times. Regardless, one of the biggest revelations to me was that the words we speak about ourselves—whether in our own minds or while talking with others—affect not only our psyches (mental and emotional), but also our physicality. I tested the theory of positive affirmations in the hot room one afternoon during yoga: I wore a top that reads “Strong is the new skinny” and I stared at that shirt for the next 90 minutes. This affirmation of strength resonated throughout the following 90 minutes and my body responded with a strong, grounded practice. But it doesn’t end with positivity. We also limit our success with the words (and thoughts) we entertain that devalue or restrict our capabilities (see The Language of Limitation and Hate-Speak). Let’s make a pact today: to speak self-love. And then witness a powerful transformation.

What does your self-speak sound like?

Image courtesy of sattva at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

7 tips to incorporate mindfulness into your day

If you want to conquer the anxiety of life,
live in the moment, live in the breath. ~ Amit Ray

In my post, “A month of mindfulness…,” I share how I’ve begun to practice mindfulness—the act of consciously directing my awareness, without judgment—moment by moment. I also include a few examples of where I’ve begun to pay attention on purpose. Here are seven tips on how you might incorporate mindfulness into your everyday routine: 1) Choose a better-for-you beverage or snack option. 2) Focus on your breath when you’re uncomfortable, scared or upset. 3) Give other speakers 100 percent of your attention. 4) Notice if you exhibit behaviors like jumping to conclusions or overreacting, interrupting or responding with rudeness. 5) Look for ways to extend compassion and kindness to those around you. 6) Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations—before you “think aloud.” 7) Pause before you speak/email/text. Bonus: Always remember it’s a practice. Then watch the changes start to unfold.

How do you practice mindfulness?

Photo courtesy of David Castillo at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Fear is *not* a favorite F word

Fear can be debilitating. Fear of… failure, the unknown, change, making a mistake, saying the wrong thing, getting hurt, causing pain, running out of time, missing out. Regret. The other day, I made a decision, set my plan in motion and, for several hours, I felt at peace about it. Only, when it came time to execute ‘said’ plan, fear seized and held me captive, resulting in an aborted mission. The solution? I must confront my fears, head on, instead of running away from whatever situation I’m facing. Otherwise, I will never be able to make peace with the past and move forward into the present that’s waiting for me to delight in. But this requires courage that I have yet to access, and confidence to trust in the process. It also requires daily positive affirmations that, indeed, I am good enough. And keep in mind: There are no mistakes. Just life lessons. So that’s one fear we can all say goodbye to.

What is your biggest fear?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

An amazing life

I spent the past 31 days reciting a positive affirmation each morning. I practice Bikram yoga, attend church, volunteer my time, share laughter with friends and family, work in a field I’m passionate about and engage in fulfilling hobbies. I wake up every day and choose happiness, yet I seem to be missing something. Through Family Share and its 15 steps to ensure an amazing life, however, I discovered a few missing links.

1. Connect with yourself and others
2. Live in the present
3. Always create
4. Cultivate an “attitude of gratitude”
5. Choose a mentor wisely
6. Give your body the gift of rest and relaxation
7. Eat for happiness (skip processed foods, enjoy healthy fats)
8. Cleanse your body
9. Cleanse your mind
10. Cleanse your spirit
11. Establish healthy boundaries
12. Let go of anything that doesn’t serve you
13. Set SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, timely)
14. It’s a practice, not a perfect
15. Help others

Where do you miss the mark?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.