Don’t sweat ‘the gap’

You could say I’m a fangirl of motivational quotes. Over my desk hang several popular missives, including one that states: Dream bigger. And don’t forget the ever-popular: Do something your future self will thank you for. I notice, however, that nobody spends much time extoling “the gap”—which I talk about in my post “Gain vs. gap: realigning our focus.” A while back, I mentioned to a writer friend my excitement about a second short story of mine scheduled for publication in a national magazine—a dream come true! When I recounted the time lapse between subsequent submissions, she said, Don’t sweat the gap. Although I’ve drafted a few short stories since that conversation, for myriad reasons they remain tucked out of sight. But, instead of worrying I might miss the next opportunity, I’m utilizing the gap to hone my craft in the hopes I will be better prepared to step into bigger dreams…when the time is “write.”

How do you cope with “the gaps” in your life?

Photo by Lubo Minar on Unsplash.

How to determine if you’re an amateur or a professional

In a recent post, I talk about taking massive action to fight for your goals. The article I reference focuses on the importance of changing our mindsets. And that it isn’t just trying something once, or trying and failing and then quitting. It means trying until we get the results we want; i.e., mastering daily habits that ultimately lead to success. According to James Clear, author of Atomic Habits and the creator of the Habits Academy, it’s about the power of schedule and creating a daily routine. Clear says, “Stop waiting for motivation or creative inspiration to strike you and set a schedule for your habits. This is the difference between professionals and amateurs. Professionals set a schedule and stick to it. Amateurs wait until they feel inspired or motivated.” Further, give yourself permission to deliver a less-than-average outcome. “The only way to be consistent enough to make a masterpiece is to give yourself permission to create junk along the way.”

So what’s the verdict—amateur or pro?

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Gain vs. gap: realigning our focus

I’m notorious for making things harder than they need to be. And often creating more work for myself in the process. Anyone else relate? <raising hand> Lately, however, I’m finding peace in that space between now and then. You know the space I’m talking about: the gap. Recently, I read an article written by a popular motivational guru who encourages readers to focus on the gain, rather than the gap. Loosely translated, I take this to mean we must look at what we’ve accomplished vs. what we have yet to realize. Consequently, rather than fight the process—of growth, of attracting abundance, of [fill in the blank]—I’m learning to go with the flow when necessary, and to identify when a means or a method no longer serves me before I wind up spinning my wheels in frustration. To quote my good friend KM: “assimilate; make connections.” And then trust yourself to know when to act.

What things do you usually make harder than they need to be?

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Are you ready to do the thing?

Now that I’ve been reading and writing again (see “A new way of thinking…”)—essentially, practicing that which I want to become greater at—I can’t deny a rekindled motivation. And the vision I have for the future is now more than a pipe dream: it’s a plan. Complete with deadlines and manageable goals mapped out. During a recent workshop exercise, the leader had us close our eyes and imagine ourselves a year from now. That we’ve done “the thing” we’ve always dreamed of—written that book, earned the degree, gotten that job, took the trip, retired early. What does it feel like? How about three years… five years… 10? How does it look? Then, we repeated the exercise, only we never did the thing. It’s a year from now: how do we feel? How about three, five and 10 years later? What do the people closest to us say about it? The truth is: time goes by whether we do the thing or not.

What’s your thing?

The best use of our time: a legacy lived out

In my post, “How to jump start your day…,” I suggest a break from the daily grind as a method to motivate beyond the initial cup of morning java. Yet, as I sit at my laptop and attempt to sum up a half century of lessons learned to craft a life from which I don’t want—or need—to escape, a longtime friend of mine fights for her life. Cancer: A word that even reeks of insidious intent. Another friend struggles with feelings of loss and isolation, while another mourns a broken relationship. Still others suffer in silence. Admittedly, I’m ashamed when I utter words of complaint over a trivial inconvenience, an unpleasant interaction, a facial blemish visible today and forgotten next week. And it seems trite to believe I have the answers, a cure-all. But what I think it all boils down to is this: to live out a legacy of love. Passionately, transparently, courageously and honestly. While there’s still time.

What does your legacy look like?

Photo source: https://bitsofpositivity.com.

How to adopt a new mindset

In a recent post, 4 tips to reclaim your get up and go, I suggest splurging on yourself to (re)summon your purpose. You might ask: How does purchasing a pair of sassy summer sandals help me snap out of my motivation-less mindset? I adopted this very suggestion myself, and I’m happy to report it went a long way toward improving my spirit. I may not have located my get up and go, but the act of simply leaving the office mid-day with my colleague, to laugh and shop together, infused my attitude with gratitude. I returned to work with a lighter spirit—albeit a lighter bank account—but also with renewed excitement for a getaway lined up next month, as well as a couple writers’ learning opportunities around the corner. I might even take a mental health day soon to revisit my passion and ensure I’m still heading in the right direction. It’s no wonder I feel a bit more empowered.

How will you adopt a new mindset?

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4 tips to reclaim your get up and go

 

My get up and go left the building. Although I consume plenty of fluids, catch about seven hours of Zzzzs nightly, exercise 8-10 hours weekly and take my daily vitamins, I’m still exhausted. The problem is motivation: it’s nonexistent. I used to get excited to go to work, yet now I can barely summon the energy to spend eight hours parked in front of my computer each day. I like what I do, but it no longer feeds my passion. Sound familiar? Here are four tips to help you (re)summon your purpose:

• Shake it up. Take a day off from your normal routine.
• Splurge on yourself. Even if it’s just a frozen yogurt (and remember to add toppings).
• Plan a getaway. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just a locale where you can recharge your battery.
• Revisit your passion. Where do see yourself in one, five, 10 years? If you’re not going in the right direction, change your course.

How do you reclaim your get up and go?

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Working out the cobwebs

 

In my post ‘Fodder to fuel a passionate life,’ I talk about my recent adventure on the road, absorbed in all things books. The following morning, decked out in layers to accommodate the desert morning chill, I returned to my muse, this time the mountain trails beneath my newly broken-in boots and sunshine lighting my path. En route, I chose one character from the book I ‘wrote’ aloud during last month’s hike and, for two hours, I fleshed out a 3-D person as real as you or me. The key, I learned in a weekend workshop, is to plot your story via motivation. The clearer picture you develop of the individuals who live and breathe on the page, the more believable they will be to your reader. And, if you’re lucky, your characters might end up writing the book for you. Those two hours zipped by before I knew it—another creative and physical workout under my belt. Until next time.

How do you work out the cobwebs?

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Fanning the flames

 

Here we are, two months down in the New Year, 10 to go. Some days I think I’ve got the ‘simple thing’ down to an art, other days I flounder with too much to do and less time… to do. When heading more often into the latter direction, it takes effort to jump off the treadmill for a self-prescribed timeout. Remember, too much of a good thing doesn’t mean it’s good for us. When we forget to breathe, we lose ourselves. Last weekend I spent an afternoon with a girlfriend at an outdoor mall. Gorgeous weather, engaging company and I found a couple of fun tops. The following day, a planned ‘make-up’ day, I enjoyed a chunk of time on the patio, along with my daughter, basking in another amazing Southwest afternoon. Consequently, this week is pretty busy, but I’ve spread out my tasks. After all, moments with friends and family—savoring the simple things—fan the flames of my inspiration and my motivation.

What fans your flames?

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Don’t wait until you die

 

“To anyone who thinks they’re falling behind in life” is written to me. I am the one who thinks I need more motivation, to read more lists and posts about how I’m not doing enough. Because I’m not doing enough, right? I’m still writing blogs about how I need to simplify, find balance, be kind, follow my dreams: to do. To be. To perpetuate an endless cycle of more than. The pièce de résistance? …we all need more than anything… permission to be wherever the f*ck we are when we’re there. Oh, this soothes my soul. Who doesn’t crave permission to love themselves exactly where they are? A yogi instructor recently ended her evening class with Alan Cohen’s words: To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now. I exited the room, tears streaming down my face. I want to live now.

Which one are you?

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