It’s not too early: start attracting what you want in 2020

Ever get struck with an epiphany that pumps your blood with excitement? The kind that makes you want to smack yourself on the one hand but high five the other? Coming off the tail end of one of these ah-ha moments, I shared it with a close friend and I think it’s worth repeating. For countless years, I’ve been playing a self-imposed “waiting game,” while subconsciously casting blame on other major players (aka main characters) in my life for the place—or season—in which I find myself today. Newsflash: first, there is no one to blame but myself. Second, just as I mentioned in my post, “How to make a happy life…,” the choices I’ve made thus far belong to me alone. And third, no blame necessary. I simply must remind myself that no experience is wasted if I learn something that prepares me for the next season. Because watch out New Year: this girl is on fire!

For tips on attracting what you want, visit https://chopra.com/articles/7-strategies-to-attract-everything-you-want-in-the-new-year.

Love without condition: begin with yourself

Today I asked my body what she needed,
Which is a big deal
Considering my journey of
Not really asking that much.

I thought she might need more water.
Or protein.
Or greens.
Or yoga.
Or supplements.
Or movement.

But as I stood in the shower
Reflecting on her stretch marks,
Her roundness where I would like flatness,
Her softness where I would like firmness,
All those conditioned wishes
That form a bundle of
Never-Quite-Right-Ness,
She whispered very gently:

Could you just love me like this?
~ Hollie Holden

I read this poem while scrolling through Facebook and tears welled quickly. For more than a half century, I’ve wrestled with the “bundle of never-quite-right-ness.” When I first joined ‘Club 50,’ I learned how to be comfortable in my own skin, as long as I practiced mindfulness. But what if I could love myself without condition? After all, if I love others this way, then I owe myself the same consideration. And grace.

What do you ask of yourself?

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

If life was a game we could return to start

You know how hindsight is 20-20? The kind of situation “if you knew then what you know now…?” For instance, if I had altered a few of my investments, I could’ve retired 4½ years sooner. Or, if I hadn’t spent the last 4½ months making unmindful nutrition choices, I’d be in a better place physically, mentally and emotionally—and my impending blood panel wouldn’t concern me. It seems I’m spending more time in that space where I wish I could go back to redeem a “pass go & collect $200” card. But, as I mention in “A brand new ending,” we cannot demand a do over. Consequently, the impetus that draws my mind (multiple times a day!) from the “if-then” mentality so I can win at life is this: I will never be that same person and I cannot recapture the past. Instead, I must view myself in light of the present in order to fashion a better future.

How do you win at the game of life?

Image courtesy of Keerati at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

No wrapping necessary: the gift of grace

With the holidays in full swing (wasn’t it just Christmas?), I’ve noticed tempers are quick(er) to flare, smiles are less forthcoming and a pall of malaise feels all too real. In addition, the hours in our days are set to fast forward. I read an article recently about patience suggesting: instead of praying for it, try practicing it. With Christmas and the new year making appearances in a mere few weeks, I have no doubt there will be opportunities galore to practice patience, to extend grace. For example, choose the longest checkout line at the grocery store. Pick the slowest lane of traffic. Yield to other drivers. The more we mindfully practice patience, the more it will become second nature when we don’t have a choice about which line, lane or crisis we’re muddling through. What about the harried pharmacist, receptionist or caller, colleague or spouse, child or stranger? Practice patience, and give the gift of grace this holiday season. No wrapping necessary.

How do you practice patience?

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Your breaking point: recognize the signs

 

This past year seems like it’s elapsed in a whirlwind, with my goal to pursue the power of P (peace, patience, purpose and a more passionate prayer life) being usurped by the practice of mindfulness. Which makes sense, because it’s a concept that involves each of these pursuits. This past weekend, the chance to practice mindfulness showed up in a big way: As is often the case, my plans on paper did not translate well into real time, and I quickly recognized the signs that signal my “breaking” point. Close to panic mode when the little piles and pressures in front of me become overwhelming, I turn inward and disengage. Oftentimes, this means a solitary trek into the mountains as a means of avoidance. This weekend, however, I opted to dodge all outside commitments to allow my soul to catch up to my body right where I was at. To let the day unfold with no agenda. And with no regrets.

What does your breaking point look like?

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The quick fix: the easy way out may not be the best way through

I was born with a bicuspid aortic valve. Six months ago, my cardiologist and I met to review my lab work and talk about my treatment plan. At that time, he put me on a supplement to help lower my total and LDL cholesterol—a hereditary albatross I’ve carried my entire adult life—with a recheck in three months. I balked at taking the supplement. I know it works (I’ve taken it before with great success), but the side effects can be unpleasant and permanent. Although a quick fix, I chose to abstain. I rescheduled my appointment for six months out and began my mindfulness journey. Today, positive change is reflected in the numbers from my latest blood draw. It would’ve been easy to take the supplement, but it wouldn’t have been the best way for me to claim ownership of my health. More changes await around the corner, but I’m encouraged. Sometimes proof is all we need to push through.

When have you bypassed the quick fix?

Photo source: http://www.conanfitness.com.

When you feel like a failure: don’t look back

You know when the perfect opportunity to offer words of wisdom and insightful advice to your child—adult or otherwise—takes on the appearance of a train wreck versus the motherly win you strive for? Even with a quarter century of parenting experience under my belt, I still bomb (and not the fizzled-out kind), the recent fail an up-close-and-personal affront at my ability to think before I speak—to mindfully build up rather than fight fire with fire. Tears ensued. Hugs suspended. Hours later, my mom ego bruised, I waved a white flag in the form of a text: Do-over? My treat. My faith life on display, it had revealed a mind and heart polluted by the demons I refer to in “Fighting the demons…:” old habits repeated, past choices tendered. But I have a choice now: I can allow the mistakes of yesterday to define today, or I can choose not to look back. Because that’s not the direction I’m headed.

How do you respond to failure?

Photo source: http://www.passionpluspurpose.com.

Defeating the demons: pressing in to get your head (and heart) unstuck

 

In my recent post, “Make peace with the past…” I contemplate the choice to salvage the Someday mentality [“Someday my dreams will come true, I’ll accomplish X, Y and Z or fill-in-the-blank”]—or to let go of the one-sided dreams. You know the type—where the outcome centers on circumstances beyond your control. Today, I’m at a crossroads as I fight a few familiar demons: rehashing old habits, rethinking past choices, dwelling on the old. Yet the only way to reclaim my reality is to dig deeper, to press in to those areas which best define me: my passion and my purpose. To pursue, with greater intent, life’s simple pleasures and the transformative power of prayer, the mindful practice of gratitude and self-compassion. And to finally release those things which I cannot change in order to appreciate the life that’s smack dab in front of me. Not a million miles away. Not within the pages of a fairytale. But here, and now.

How do you defeat the demons?

Image source: askideas.com.

Information overload: the good, the bad and the ugly

 

I’ve got a lot on my mind but, rather than write multiple posts, I condensed my innumerable thoughts into six key points so I can say my piece and move on. You’re welcome.

1. Consistency and mindfulness: Hey, they really work! My recent blood workup illustrates the positive results of both. See “Consistency is key…” and “7 tips to incorporate mindfulness…” for helpful reminders.
2. Authentic change requires forgiveness: Did you commit a wrongdoing that compels you to ask forgiveness? Or are you waiting for an apology? See “Forgiveness is a funny thing” and “Forgiveness leads to freedom.” Only through forgiveness can we experience authentic, life-altering change.
3. Health stuff: Nothing major, but a new pesky concern to monitor.
4. Enough with the negativity: Quit bellyaching (note to self) and see “What we speak is what we get.”
5. My heart hurts: For my friends and family who suffer with illness, disease, loss, heartache. For my own unrequited dreams.
6. Humanity: God help us.

What’s on your mind?

Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Transformative change: finding comfort in your own skin

On the topic of changing one’s mind (see “It’s okay to begin again…”), there’s a word for that which also encompasses changing one’s heart, self or way of life. According to Merriam-Webster, metanoia is a “transformative change of heart especially: a spiritual conversion.” I like to think it’s validation of where I find myself these days—in part due to the mindfulness journey I embarked on more than two months ago. As a daily exercise between conscious thought and a willing spirit, I’m drawn to life’s simpler things and able to find joy within both the hills and the valleys. Not only has my heart softened toward those closest to me and to the plight of the human condition, but I feel a richer compassion for myself. Although unsure of my next step, I’m okay with that because I’m moving forward. And, for the first time—maybe ever—I’m comfortable in my own skin. Perhaps Club 50 is “the new metanoia.” 

What recent transformative change have you experienced?