Embrace the struggle: every good story contains conflict

 

We must let go of the life we have planned,
so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.
~ Joseph Campbell

Nearly 18 months ago, I embarked on a rite of passage: the admittance into “Club 50“—a new season I embraced with enthusiasm, positivity and sparkles. Oh, the places I’ll go, to coin a favorite Dr. Seuss book title. I began to plan this next half century, my hopes and dreams—my bucket list—with gusto and determination. Yet, here I am, a year and a half later, my bucket filled with these same goals, along with a few plot twists along the way: loss, disappointment, unrequited dreams. But, if we release our plans—or, at the very least, loosen the reins—perhaps, in turn, we invite opportunities to build character and deepen relationships through our struggles. In the process, we might even create space to dream a new dream. And to share that dream with others.

What plan(s) do you need to release?

Asking the big question: what’s next?

 

Pivotal moments. We all experience those times in our lives where we can usually pinpoint at least one life-altering decision, milestone or epiphany. I’ve written a lot about a big one for me: my daughter had just started 10th grade and, when I realized she’d graduate in two years, I knew I didn’t want to do what I was doing for the rest of my life. Twenty-four months later I earned my B.A., just a day before this same child received her diploma. Fast forward a half dozen years: my daughter turns 24 today. I work in an industry I’m passionate about (most of the time) but, once again, I can’t say this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Maybe it’s because hitting the half-century mark this past December signaled another turning point—an ah-ha moment of sorts. We aren’t getting out of this thing alive, and it isn’t slowing down. So what’s next?

What is a pivotal moment in your life?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Doing life in the fast lane

 
Since taking that leap and crossing over the half-century mark this past December, the trajectory on the other side feels like I’m traveling Autobahn speeds. While the first 50 years took their own sweet time, now the necessity to apply imaginary brakes in order to slow time—to cram everything I can into each moment—grips me with a palpable intensity. ‘There’s just not enough time,’ I said to my girlfriend as we prepared for our 90-minute Bikram yoga class. Thankfully, a daily dose of soul searching has created space for like-minded, intuitive people to join my ‘tribe.’ One such friend recently gifted me a book—Just Hit Send, a journey to freedom—written by a dear yogi practitioner whose personal inscription syncs with my travels, both gestures a reminder I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. So be kind, gentle and love (yourself and others) with a fierce passion and live out your dreams with abandon. Fast or slow.

In which lane do you prefer to travel?

Image courtesy of mapichai at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Holy crap says it all

 

Holy crap is my new favorite catch phrase: A friend in Minnesota texts me a picture of a snow storm (I live in Arizona): holy crap. We’re already more than 11/12 into the New Year: holy crap. Yes, I’m over a half century young: holy crap! Tick tock tick tock. I ran across a noteworthy older lady while traveling in January. She didn’t know me from Adam, yet shuffled right up into my space and proceeded to spew out my life story in a nutshell. She wrapped up the message in a neat bow when she informed me I’m a beautiful woman, but wound so tight that I’m not living. Holy crap. Okay, everything said lady gushed forth rang volumes of truth. Maybe when a complete stranger sees that which you daily turn a blind eye to, it’s time to bite the bullet and eradicate each cliché and excuse to do the thing your heart implores of you. Holy crap.

What ‘catch phrase’ seems to capture your reality?

Image courtesy of Keerati at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

It’s not your job to fix it

A couple of months ago, I was chatting with a friend about someone close to me who is unhappy with life in general. I know I haven’t always made it easy for this person, so I told my friend I have my work cut out for me. And then my friend said something mind blowing: “That’s not your job. They need to work it out on their own.” What?! You mean I’m only responsible for fixing myself? Talk about liberating. Although I already knew this truth, deep down, the validation was good to hear. Once again, we can only control ourselves and our response to whatever is going on around us. Even though I’ve got a half century of living under my belt, the personal assignments I’ve engaged in daily over the past several weeks have taught me a lot—mostly that I still have quite a bit to learn about life. But at least I’m learning.

What is something you recently learned about yourself, or about life?

Image courtesy of clce.onmason.com.

Circumnavigating discontent

You could say I’m flailing a bit. At about the same time I dropped everything to visit with family and friends in the Midwest, I also stopped writing every day. Although no correlation, a friend is battling the aftermath of a tragic accident, a close relative is in non-stop pain following surgery, I’m dealing with ongoing medical issues, and in less than six months I’m turning the half century mark and knowing I’m still not where I want to be… but doing what I can to be okay with where I’m at. It’s not that I’m unhappy; it’s that discontent is an ever-present companion. Which brings me to the final chapters in my journey of self-discovery—a 33-day path to my purpose, plan and joy—and I feel a sort of letdown. Because it’s never been about “finding myself,” but rather creating myself by tuning in to what I already possess. And understanding that everyone else we meet is traveling their own path, too.

How do you cimcumnavigate discontent?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.