Today I am grateful for:

Gratitude is the gateway to joy.
~ Elaine S. Marshall

I believe I speak for the majority of people reading this post that the year 2020 has proven like no other experienced in our lifetimes. It’s impossible to ignore the chaos surrounding global political, financial and cultural strife; shelter-in-place orders; business closures; loss of lives and livelihoods; hoarding of everyday supplies; social distancing; mandatory mask orders and more. Yet, while discussing the state of current affairs with close friends, relatives and online groups, I find I’m not alone in nursing a deep sense of guilt that stems from feeling grateful for our individual blessings—even in the midst of great heartache throughout the world. And the collective consensus is that it’s okay—in fact, it’s essential —to grant ourselves permission to feel the “feels.” Because not only does gratitude transform what we have into enough, but it also leads to abundance, and a conduit of joy, we get to share with others.

What are you grateful for today?

Photo source: jackcanfield.com.

Rx for a woe-is-me mentality

 

I’m not certain when I first noticed, but my heart seems to have settled into a state of continuous gratitude. But then a close friend texts me: a litany of woes in big bold letters followed by Life sucks. Another friend messages me: more discouraging news ending with I’m sick of all the crap. Can I be honest? It’s hard to remain sparkly in the midst of others’ trials without feeling guilty. And it’s not that I don’t experience trials. Because I do. On a regular basis, new or recurring health issues pop up—many of which require ongoing attention. Relationship issues—story of my life. Unrequited dreams—Someday is a promise I must stop making myself. But then I ran across Nisban Panwar’s quote: If you always see the negative side of things, eventually that’s all there is. Always look for the positive no matter how small. This means giving thanks for the ‘sweet and simple pleasures.’ Guilt free.

Which side of thinking do you gravitate toward?

Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net.

Recognize the strides

On the heels of my restlessness—see “Circumnavigating discontent”—I do recognize the strides I’ve achieved along the path toward self-discovery. I’m slow to anger and less hurried, fearful and guilt-ridden; more in tune with the present and accepting of my weaknesses; filled with greater appreciation for life in its myriad ups and downs, as well as a deeper understanding that change triggers more—and better—and that we all have something within our hearts spurring us on. For me, writing is the catalyst (view “Preparing for Extreme Weather on the Jobsite,” recently published in Construction Superintendent eNews). Finally, an observation that every person we meet can teach us something—about the world or about ourselves—and that we are separate parts of one whole. A girlfriend shared that ‘uni’ means one and ‘verse’ is song. Which translates into each of us contributing our one-of-a-kind music notes to the universe, a collective symphony of light and love. At least that’s my hope.

What strides have you taken lately?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Permission to flourish

Believe you will succeed, and you will.
~ Dale Carnegie

My last post, “No more apologies,” was about just that. Instead, I’ve been letting [aka training] the people in my life to know it’s essential I have my “writing time” each day, no questions asked. Unless someone is bleeding, I want no interruptions. The first day, I briefed my family before I shut the door to the outside world (except for my cats). For one hour I revised an essay, as well as rambled for 168 words in my personal blog. The 60 minutes flew by (proving the theory once again that time does fly when you’re having fun) and, when my timer chimed, I felt refreshed and happy—nourished. And the more I write, the more I want to write. It seems my muse has been waiting for permission to flourish unhindered by expectations, boundaries and guilt. To reign free. I’m excited to see where it takes me.

What do you need to make regular time for?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Navigating a new normal

[Image credit: digitalart]

Since my last post, I’ve been muddling through most days in a film of malaise. My beloved father passed away mere weeks ago. I vacillate between feelings of abandonment and guilt, relief and hope. But often I stumble around life in ill-fitting emotions I’d prefer to shed. Yet I attempt to find my new normal among the living. I’ve been told to be gentle and kind as I navigate this unforgiving territory; to learn to say no and to accept myself wherever I’m at … that I’ll reach a point where I’m angry enough at my depressive state I’ll finally be ready to move forward. Some days are better than others. Some I wish I could turn back the clock and see my pop one more time on this side of heaven. My last post shared The meaning of life according to Gast—about truly living. Now I simply long for my sparkle to return—spark by small spark.

How are you gentle to yourself in times of loss?

Saying “no” to ourselves

[Image credit: pakorn]

In my post Guilt-free living, I talk about granting ourselves permission to say “no” without feeling guilty.  In that blog I talk about being okay when we turn down requests from others.  But what about those self-imposed tasks we create for ourselves?  On Thanksgiving Eve, I planned on attending a special church service.  After an early dismissal from work, I ran a couple of errands, came home and started laundry and prepared a homemade pie for the weekend.  I was also still recovering from a week and a half of crud so not feeling overly ambitious.  When it was time for church, I made the “executive” decision to lay low.  I felt that one more commitment would be one too many.  So I said “no” to my expectations, puttered around the house, played Words With Friends and prepared for the next day.  It’s new for me, but I’m learning how to be okay even when I say no to myself.

How do you say “no” without feeling guilty?