When it hurts so good: a healthy dose of self-denial

Habits: These good, bad and ugly boys wrestle with my will on the daily. Some studies say it takes three weeks to enforce a habit. For me, it can also take less than 30 seconds to unravel the best of intentions. Real talk: I have a few bad habits I can no longer ignore, deny or continue to associate with. Not too long ago, I believed it simply required a matter of mindful choices. However, I’ve noticed, of late, that once I engage in an undesirable habit (or three), I’ve set myself up for failure. In other words, the snowball effect takes over of its own accord. The same can be true at the opposite end of the spectrum: If I employ a habit that benefits mind, body and/or spirit, I’ve prepped for success and smooth(er) sailing ensues. It’s more than a decision to act a certain way. It’s a commitment to replace self-defeat with self-love—and a healthy dose of self-denial.

What habit(s) do you wrestle with?

The only guarantee in life

If you spend too much time
thinking about a thing,
you’ll never get it done. ~ Bruce Lee

In my recent post—“Are you ready to do the thing?”—I talk about the one thing we’ve always dreamed of but have never done. For each of us, that thing probably looks different. Yet no matter how many good intentions we entertain, it won’t happen unless we make it happen. Or until we’ve run out of time. This, for me, is the catalyst. Because if I imagine a future in which I never did “the thing,” I could never forgive myself. I’m at a point where I’ve exposed my fears—of failure, of wasting time, of not being good enough (you name it, I’ve thought it)—and simply run out of excuses. And here’s the bottom line: There are no guarantees. We will never know if we’re good enough, or if we’ll fail. But there is one certainty: we won’t know unless we try.

What are you waiting for?

Image courtesy of digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Got grief? Strategies to help manage heartache

 

Grief, like cancer, is not biased. Although grief, or heartache, focuses on the psyche, it can still kill: hope, good intentions, innocence. In “Moving forward through grief,” I talk about the stages of grief that many of us will or have encountered. No one situation looks the same; likewise, no one person assimilates grief the same way. Additionally, I believe this soul-deep sorrow can extend beyond loss into territories of unfulfilled dreams, unanswered prayer, disillusionment, broken relationships, failing health and so on. What we require is not a one-size-fits-all solution, but remedies we can apply to help us transition through it:

• Accept it: understand grief is a normal part of life
• Be patient: cut slack—with yourself and others—when appropriate
• Allow time: rest, rejuvenate and replenish as necessary
• Walk through it: realize it is only temporary; avoid setting up camp
• Admit a need: know when to ask for and/or to accept help
• Say no: don’t apologize, minimize or make excuses

What’s your strategy for coping with grief?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Moderation doesn’t have to be a dirty word

[Image credit: vichie81]

Be moderate in everything, including moderation. ~ Horace Porter

Living a life of moderation is an unwritten goal of mine.  There are certain times when I’m a firm believer that there’s no such thing as too much of a good thing, but I also believe the healthiest lifestyle embraces the moderation rule.  It’s all about balance.  For many years, I struggled with an eating disorder and went from eating everything I could get my hands on, to starving myself for days.  Similarly, many dieters deprive themselves of their favorite treats, only to binge days later (as a reward for sticking to their “diet,” no less).  Although these examples refer to unhealthy extremes, I also think moderation needs to be taken lightly.  For instance, when I travel, my good intentions oftentimes fly out the window simply because it’s common for our routines to get off track.  I used to worry about maintaining my daily diet, working out, sleeping a prescribed number of hours; you name it, I attempted to control it while traveling.  But I discovered that there’s a time and a place and for me, vacation is neither one.  Perhaps moderation has more to do with finding a happy medium, but then allowing for adjustments when necessary.

Have you found that happy medium, or do you typically live one extreme or the other?