A nasty word called addiction: from bondage to freedom

In today’s post, I share a snapshot of a decades-long journey from bondage to freedom. Until six months ago to the day, I lived as an addict most of my life. Ever since I can remember, food consumed me (pun intended). Not so much the taste and health benefits, but the ways it [temporarily] anesthetized my emotions and contributed to a false sense of control. For years I engaged in an active bulimic lifestyle (see Body shaming comes in all shapes and sizes), bound by rituals that revolved around binging and purging. More than three decades ago, I “beat” the physical cycle of abuse but, throughout the subsequent years, lived with the psychological torment of a distorted body image, yo-yo dieting (an unhealthy practice with hidden dangers) and self-inflicted shame. Social interactions where food played a major role—parties, work lunches, friendly get-togethers—served to debilitate and oftentimes paralyze my mind. Until I finally surrendered these thought patterns. Bottom line: there’s always hope.

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Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Time is running out: make it matter

There are three months
left in this decade.
In. This. Decade.

If you’re on social media, you might’ve seen the above words pop up in your feed. Now tack on the phrase: “Take that risk” or “I think you should go for it.” As humanity collectively stands on the cusp of a new season, I’m reminded of the patterns that accompany the inevitable changes, whether in nature or our own lives. A well-known Bible scripture begins: For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. Once trapped in a cycle of repetitive behavior and thinking that prevented me from moving from past to present, over the last year I’ve experienced both loss and gain—culminating in acceptance, forgiveness and blessed freedom from bondage. I’m ready, now, to take that risk. To go for it. To make it matter before time runs out.

Are you ready?

Image courtesy of krishna arts at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Falling into place: when the pieces of your life come together

 

It’s been two months since I embarked on my mindfulness journey (see “A month of mindfulness…”). While some days—moments even—prove easier than others, there are the days you return home from work and devour a half bag of sweet potato chips without a second thought. And you know what? That’s okay. Because part of practicing mindfulness means you recognize a behavior or emotion but, instead of obsessing over it, you accept it for what it is and then let it go. My recent post, “The secret to letting go…,” focuses on what you can change or control. Based on this premise, I have since discovered a newfound freedom: When I let go, other pieces of my life begin to fall into place. From renewed relationships to a healthier self-image to hope for the future, I’m reaping the fruits of right choices. Most importantly, I’ve learned to be happy regardless of my circumstances, because I choose to be. Every day.

When will you take the mindfulness challenge?

Photo courtesy of ponsulak at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Doing life in the fast lane

 
Since taking that leap and crossing over the half-century mark this past December, the trajectory on the other side feels like I’m traveling Autobahn speeds. While the first 50 years took their own sweet time, now the necessity to apply imaginary brakes in order to slow time—to cram everything I can into each moment—grips me with a palpable intensity. ‘There’s just not enough time,’ I said to my girlfriend as we prepared for our 90-minute Bikram yoga class. Thankfully, a daily dose of soul searching has created space for like-minded, intuitive people to join my ‘tribe.’ One such friend recently gifted me a book—Just Hit Send, a journey to freedom—written by a dear yogi practitioner whose personal inscription syncs with my travels, both gestures a reminder I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. So be kind, gentle and love (yourself and others) with a fierce passion and live out your dreams with abandon. Fast or slow.

In which lane do you prefer to travel?

Image courtesy of mapichai at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Forgiveness is a funny thing

In my post, “Forgiveness leads to freedom,” I talk about different types of forgiveness—toward others, as well as ourselves—and how it frees us. The act of forgiveness, itself, is intentional, voluntary. It isn’t something that happens when we’re not looking, nor does it require an apology to initiate. Over a decade ago, a tragedy struck my family and it took me nearly a year to forgive the person responsible. Fast-forward to a few years ago. More misfortune, this time caused by someone close to me. This particular situation shook me to my core and rendered me a blubbering mess. Unforgiveness took root. But a week or so ago, an event occurred that was a catalyst for me to accept what had happened and admit my unforgiveness would not change the outcome. Again, I chose to forgive. And now my heart is free to fully love again. That’s the funny thing about forgiveness: when we give it, we receive so much more.

Can you forgive someone today?

Permission to flourish

Believe you will succeed, and you will.
~ Dale Carnegie

My last post, “No more apologies,” was about just that. Instead, I’ve been letting [aka training] the people in my life to know it’s essential I have my “writing time” each day, no questions asked. Unless someone is bleeding, I want no interruptions. The first day, I briefed my family before I shut the door to the outside world (except for my cats). For one hour I revised an essay, as well as rambled for 168 words in my personal blog. The 60 minutes flew by (proving the theory once again that time does fly when you’re having fun) and, when my timer chimed, I felt refreshed and happy—nourished. And the more I write, the more I want to write. It seems my muse has been waiting for permission to flourish unhindered by expectations, boundaries and guilt. To reign free. I’m excited to see where it takes me.

What do you need to make regular time for?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Complaints don’t change a thing

[image credit: jesadaphorn]

I’ve noticed a trend lately. Maybe it isn’t something new and I’m just more in tune because it’s something I’m working on changing within myself. It goes along with the “palms-open approach” I wrote about: releasing expectations to receive whatever is in store for me. Practicing this conscious thought process has been an exercise in freedom because it has allowed me to more fully live in each moment. What I’ve noticed, however, between friends and acquaintances and across social media, is that oftentimes the negative is elevated to a status it doesn’t deserve. I’m not saying we should brush misfortune or disappointment under the rug, but why give either one more credit than necessary? If our thoughts eventually dictate our destiny, then I want whatever I think on to be positive, life-affirming and the opposite of a Debbie Downer mentality. Complaints rarely change anything. But a happy attitude begets a happy attitude. Serve me up another cup of happy, please.

What if you spent one day without complaining?

Flirting with freedom

 

The term freedom stirs up multiple meanings. In the case of my cat, although he lives a charmed life, I imagine he still yearns for life “on the wild side.” Or at least a fleeting taste of life outside the confines of our yard. A student on break finds a brief reprieve from tests and papers due. When on vacation, deadlines and everyday responsibilities temporarily cease. How rare to be afforded a chance to not just flirt with freedom, but to test drive it. Freedom from fear, from debt, from a relationship or job no longer serving its purpose, from illness or whatever it is that limits our potential—before making a life-changing decision. If we were only guaranteed success, wholeness, satisfaction, a cure. But we aren’t, so we remain in our own yard and never see what’s on the other side of the gate. One day we may gather the courage to open it and walk through to the other side.

What do you desire freedom from?

Thank a vet today

[Image credit: Tim Beach]

Today is a National Holiday to remember those who’ve served our country in maintaining its freedom.  My dad enlisted in the Navy when he was still a teenager and traveled overseas on an aircraft carrier in World War II.  Many of the stories he regaled me with while I was growing up are still etched in my memory.  When I played taps on my trumpet as a girl, his eyes would glaze over and I’d lose him momentarily; the sound of low-flying planes overhead turned his thoughts inward.  To this day, each time I perform the side stroke in my pool, I imagine my dad doing this same thing almost 70 years ago, a cigarette balanced between his lips.  And I’m fascinated by ships.  I toured the Queen Mary in Long Beach (where my dad and mom once lived) and absorbed the history of the Titanic Exhibit in Vegas.  I think it’s because I’m my father’s daughter.

Is there a vet in your life who you remember today?

Happy Independence Day

[Image credit: nixxphotography]

Fireworks commonly commemorate the holiday, along with barbecues, parades, street dances and picnics.  As a nation, we’re celebrating freedom.  Individually, we can also observe our personal independence.  Perhaps you’ve recently flown the proverbial nest and are finally on your own, or you appreciate the ability to cast your vote, speak your mind or possess enough financial resources to live a comfortable life, or maybe all of the above.  Personally, I’m thankful I can freely pursue my hopes and dreams, looking forward to the day when my hard work and perseverance pays off.  That is when I believe I’ll truly be free … free of living with one foot rooted in the present and the other planted in what was once an unknown future.  Until then, the fireworks that light the night sky with their dazzling display of colors will be my own celebration for surviving — and thriving — another year and taking one more step toward Someday, whatever it may bring.

How do you plan to celebrate this 4th of July?