A firm foundation: fixing our eyes on the immovable

Photo by Martin Joos on Unsplash.

There is only one secure foundation…no matter what storms are raging. ~ Charles Stanley

While house/cat sitting for my daughter and her boyfriend, I ventured on a solo walk close to dark. Unfortunately…[read more]

Doing away with limiting beliefs: Faking it, or making it?

Motivational speaker and author Will Bowen says, “People advise, ‘Fake it ’til you make it.’ In truth, you’re not faking. As soon as you act like the person you aspire to be, you are that person. Over time, this repeated behavior becomes the default version of you. This is how we change—every time.” If you’re sick of a negative life or situation: speak a positive word [aloud] to yourself: while driving, as you walk into work each day, when your alarm goes off in the morning. Begin with something simple: I am strong, I am healthy, I am happy. Then get specific: I am successful at X, Y and/or Z… I am a loving partner and/or friend, etc… And when you begin to doubt: do away with limiting beliefs. For example, if you’re ill, tell yourself: I am getting stronger every day. Or: Something good is going to happen to me today! Changing our focus, changes our outcome. Every time.

What is one of your limiting beliefs?

Image courtesy of Siri Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

How to discern the answer you’re looking for

During the past several weeks, I’ve mapped out a (tentative) new plan that I write about in “Making a fresh start…” And every day looks different: One day might require setting aside my personal agenda to work with significant others on common goals. Another day it may take all I’ve got to clock in my eight hours and squeeze out 90 minutes of yoga. I’ve also spent time contemplating an ongoing dilemma. During a recent hike, I looked for answers—and for “love”—in the desert. Myriad rocks bordered the trail, yet the heart-shaped stones I sought eluded me. Until I changed my focus. I realized, then, that the sign or solution we seek can be right in front of us—or doesn’t always appear as we expect—and we must “zoom in” and/or alter our perspective to distinguish it. However, if we become distracted by the clutter of our surroundings, our selfish ambitions or vain conceits, we risk overlooking the obvious.

What answer do you seek today?

New year, new you: back to the basics

Prior to Jan. 1 each year, I prepare a list of goals to aim toward over the next 365 days. This year was no different; however, come New Year’s Day, I abandoned several of my plans to focus on immediate, more pressing needs: my relational, mental, physical, spiritual and emotional well-being. Although fraught with copious amounts of kicking and screaming, my resolve birthed a new plan to Let go and let God, if you will. Once I stripped away the myriad tasks that occupy my planner and relinquished control of outcome-driven objectives—in other words, after I surrendered my own agenda—I returned to the basics that I write about in “Falling into place…” Not only have I been blessed with second chances, but a foundation has been laid so that, when it’s time to revisit my original goals—maybe where I left off, maybe somewhere different—I’ll be ready. As a new and improved version of me.

What new goals, if any, have you begun in 2018?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

One way to stay on course

While hiking in the mountains this past weekend (and especially since my graceless fall—see ‘What *not* to do…’), I’m more attuned to the trail in front of me. With each step I take, my eyes scan the terrain a couple feet ahead for tripping hazards and/or wildlife. Focus, focus, focus! How often must you deliberately pull your attention back to a task at hand because your mind wanders to myriad items to be checked off your list? In my post, ‘Road rage…’, I talk about missing the forest for the trees; however, there is a right time and place, even beyond the trails, to keep our eyes and thoughts trained in front of us; e.g., relationships, creative projects, work tasks, fitness goals. It is wise to keep the big picture in mind, of course, yet lift our eyes at periodic intervals to scan our progress. But, in order to (safely) reach our destination, we should ultimately eliminate distractions that take us off course.

What’s your main focus?

Advancing our goals

I can’t wait to turn the page of my monthly calendar to Feb. 1. Just like I was excited to exhale 2014 and inhale 2015, I’m ready to chalk this month up as a dress rehearsal for the year—a chance to test the waters and adjust my approach or focus for the next brand new month ahead of me. Maybe you got a slow start in January or you need to come up with more realistic resolutions. Whether it’s a new year, new month, new week or even the promise of a new day, it’s always the write time to make a change that will advance your goals and a choice that will turn your frown upside down. If everything has stayed the same for you during the past 30 days [read: looks exactly like last year], then it wouldn’t be a bad idea to make just one deviation from the norm and see what happens.

How has the first 1/12 of the year gone for you?

[Image credit: digitalart, FreeDigitalPhotos.net]

Exhale the old, inhale the new

 

[Image credit: Danilo Rizzuti]

So far the best saying I’ve stumbled across that pertains to the New Year is: Exhale 2014, inhale 2015. I love the visual this invokes: Shed the old in order to fill up with the new. But I believe that in order to make room for more of the good stuff, it’s important to acknowledge the bad stuff and then let it go. Didn’t get everything crossed off your bucket list? Pare it down this year, make it more attainable. Loved and lost? Give thanks for those who made you feel alive. Ran head first into a few hiccups on your journey? Learn and continue to live. Each moment is an opportunity to love more, forgive more, appreciate more… be more. My personal focus for the New Year is balance—while at the same time doing more (of the above). And remember: Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product (Eleanor Roosevelt). I’m ready.

What is one area you plan to focus on in the coming year?

More of the same

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

My 30-day challenge has come and gone … the one where I committed to a month of Bikram Yoga without intermission, and also omitted alcohol, sweets, caffeine and anything non-Vegan from my diet.  As fabulous as I felt on my “final” day, I made the decision not to make a decision on how I’d spend day 31.  At one point, I thought I may be standing at the Keurig first thing.  Or be counting the minutes until I could mix my favorite aperitif.  But rather than craving old habits, I’m leaning toward the new.  So even though I don’t have to attend daily practice, I want to spend 90 minutes in my happy place.  A friend of mine said he simply gets sick of any given “preoccupation” — whether it’s a food or an activity.   But for me, what I focus on expands [see 9/18/2012 post].  Which means it’s time to get back to my writing.

Do you crave more of whatever you focus on, or prefer change instead?

Preparing for a fabulous new year

[Image credit: chanpipat]

You may currently have all your resolutions, goals and “to dos” put in place for the New Year.  However, those lists may just as well be words on paper — rather than an action plan toward fulfilling dreams or simply navigating life’s choppy waters — if you don’t prepare yourself mentally.  It’s your mind that will either talk you out of it, or keep you on track.  Here are five tips to help you plan for a happy, successful and (hopefully) life-changing 2013:

1. Begin each day with expectation that something wonderful is going to happen.
2. Plan and prioritize.  If it moves you closer to your highest purpose in life, do it first.
3. Let go of your results.  Remember, control the things you can.
4. Turn off background TV or other distractions that pull your mind off track.  Focus on the job at hand.
5. End each day with gratitude.  Write down at least one wonderful thing that happened.

How are you preparing for a fabulous New Year?

Mind over matter

[Image credit: jscreationzs]

During Monday’s Hot Yoga session, our instructor made a comment similar to one I’ve heard before: that we are shaped by our thoughts.  For example, if we perform a “bad” pose, we are to remove the thought from our minds as it may lead to a repeat during the second set.  I applied her advice and, consequently, it was as if everything bad that happened to me the previous week — hurtful or careless words spoken or received, disappointments or setbacks — was purged with each exhalation, droplet of sweat, contraction of muscles.  My focus and balance were more aligned as I went deeper into each pose and pushed harder.  This concept of mind over matter is true outside of the studio, as well, where oftentimes one failed job or relationship or something as simple as a dud recipe requires a new attitude to avoid making the same mistake twice.  But it’s ultimately up to us to make that choice.

Do you choose to replace the negative with positive instead?