Goal-setting tips + tricks for 2021

If you’re like me, you might be looking at the calendar and thinking: “How can it already be mid-January?” Granted, while it’s a new year, the weight of 2020’s baggage nevertheless lingers. Also, I’m still trying to establish my goals for the next 12 months. For those who might need a little extra push, I’ve compiled a list of “Top 10” links (in no particular order) that focus on goal-setting tips and tricks for 2021. And, if you wonder about the worth of goal setting, according to Forbes: people with goals prove 10 times more likely to succeed. Good odds in my opinion.

1. https://www.forbes.com/sites/mikekappel/2020/12/10/become-a-pro-at-setting-business-goals-in-the-new-year-with-these-6-tips/?sh=3894eeb83900: be specific + celebrate milestones
2. https://www.greeleytribune.com/2020/12/29/tips-and-tricks-to-goal-setting-for-a-successful-2021/: get support + embrace failure
3. https://rdicorp.com/4-tips-on-goal-setting-set-yourself-up-for-success-in-2021/: be SMART
4. https://medium.com/@KellySchuknecht/7-goal-setting-tips-to-make-2021-the-best-year-ever-17926e76127c: think outside the box
5. https://www.coaching-online.org/goals-for-2021/: think about the “why”
6. https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/smart-goal-setting: make it measurable
7. https://dirtybootsandmessyhair.com/a-guide-to-effective-goal-setting/: make it relevant
8. https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_90.htm: create an action plan
9. https://benjaminhardy.com/if-you-dont-believe-in-setting-goals-its-because-you-dont-know-how-to-do-it/: adopt a growth mindset
10. https://alwaysthewritetime.wordpress.com/2015/05/13/setting-goals-isnt-brain-surgery/: stick to it

What’s your favorite goal-setting link, tip and/or trick?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

I quit.

One day, you wake up and just know it’s time to say, “I quit.” I quit the negative self-talk. I quit complaining. I quit obsessing (see “A time for everything…”). I quit whatever no longer serves me—the toxic behaviors that harm vs. heal, the co-dependent relationships that eclipse vs. edify, saying “yes” when I mean “no.” I quit making excuses and, instead, take ownership of my decisions, my goals, my commitments, my successes—and my failures. I quit piling on the unrealistic expectations, and replace them with my victories, big and small. I quit dreaming new dreams without attaching wings: the tangible steps I must take to create the reality my heart envisions. One day, you wake up and just know it’s time to say, “I begin.” And embrace every thrill ride, every bump, bruise and disappointment because it means you’re alive and present in this moment. That you’re breathing and you were created for a purpose.

What do you need to quit in order to begin?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Top 2 Ways to Get the Most from Life

James R. Doty, in his book, “Into the Magic Shop,” talks about growing up in an environment of poverty and neglect. At 12 years old, he entered a magic shop and, through a simple act of kindness extended toward him, the trajectory of his life was transformed. If Doty had chosen to blame his upbringing for a lack of potential, this world-renowned neurosurgeon likely would’ve proven another sad statistic. Instead, he focused on his abilities through the power of both the brain and the heart. When tempted to obsess over our circumstances, we must, instead, choose to focus on our capabilities. In other words, rather than look for excuses to set ourselves up for failure, we should latch onto everything we can do. And then do it. I’d like to take it a step further: It also requires faith. Because faith knows we’ve already received and then acts accordingly. It’s like dressing for success before walking out the door.

Do you focus on your circumstances or your capabilities?

Image source: https://psychcentral.com/.

 

When it hurts so good: a healthy dose of self-denial

Habits: These good, bad and ugly boys wrestle with my will on the daily. Some studies say it takes three weeks to enforce a habit. For me, it can also take less than 30 seconds to unravel the best of intentions. Real talk: I have a few bad habits I can no longer ignore, deny or continue to associate with. Not too long ago, I believed it simply required a matter of mindful choices. However, I’ve noticed, of late, that once I engage in an undesirable habit (or three), I’ve set myself up for failure. In other words, the snowball effect takes over of its own accord. The same can be true at the opposite end of the spectrum: If I employ a habit that benefits mind, body and/or spirit, I’ve prepped for success and smooth(er) sailing ensues. It’s more than a decision to act a certain way. It’s a commitment to replace self-defeat with self-love—and a healthy dose of self-denial.

What habit(s) do you wrestle with?

The only guarantee in life

If you spend too much time
thinking about a thing,
you’ll never get it done. ~ Bruce Lee

In my recent post—“Are you ready to do the thing?”—I talk about the one thing we’ve always dreamed of but have never done. For each of us, that thing probably looks different. Yet no matter how many good intentions we entertain, it won’t happen unless we make it happen. Or until we’ve run out of time. This, for me, is the catalyst. Because if I imagine a future in which I never did “the thing,” I could never forgive myself. I’m at a point where I’ve exposed my fears—of failure, of wasting time, of not being good enough (you name it, I’ve thought it)—and simply run out of excuses. And here’s the bottom line: There are no guarantees. We will never know if we’re good enough, or if we’ll fail. But there is one certainty: we won’t know unless we try.

What are you waiting for?

Image courtesy of digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

It’s only failure if you don’t try

In the spirit of new beginnings, I recently tried a food service. You’ve seen them pop up in TV commercials, on the internet: HelloFresh, Sun Basket, Blue Apron, to name a few. I reasoned that paying someone else to shop for exactly what I need would allow me more time to focus on the basics I write about in “New year, new you…” However, I soon learned it wasn’t for me so I canceled the service. Next, I decided a fitness tracker would help me #WorkSmarter toward my health goals. I bought, tried and returned three different fitness trackers, proverbial tail between my legs. The salesperson who processed one of my returns said, “I hope you patted yourself on the back for trying something new” (four somethings including the food service!). But I hadn’t quite looked at my efforts that way. Because, you see, I didn’t fail. To quote Elbert Hubbard: There is no failure except in no longer trying.

Have you patted yourself on the back lately?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

If you don’t like where your life is headed: live like you’ve already arrived

 

Although we manifest the fruition of our thoughts—whether negative or positive (see “Dress for success”)—and we control the “more” we wish to attract into our lives (see “Be the change”), we must take this a step further and believe it before we see it. This means to shed our former way of thinking/doing/speaking and live like we already possess what we want. Remember: the words we speak—self-fulfilling little prophecies—set us up for change and either failure or success. One day I awakened and realized I didn’t like the direction my life was headed. I desired something tangible to fill the gap between real time and Someday. The answer? I began to speak life into my circumstances. And then I took action to align my surroundings with my vision. It isn’t always easy. Sometimes it means I have to be the bigger person. Become vulnerable. Take risks. Because it’s the difference between surviving or thriving.

What do you need to believe before you see it?

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10 ways you’re making your life harder than it has to be: reposted (+ 10 ways to turn it around)

 

This is it in a nutshell: https://thoughtcatalog.com/tim-hoch/2014/06/10-ways-youre-making-your-life-harder-than-it-has-to-be/. Plus 10 quick tips on how to make life easier (repeat after me):

• When we continue to rehash (supposed) offenses: Let it go.
• When we look for affirmation from others: I’m enough.
• When our worries escalate to panic-attack proportions: It’s temporary.
• If unrealistic/uncommunicated expectations eclipse our blessings: Be grateful.
• Sometimes we pray, sometimes we wait but we must always do our homework: Be wise.
• It’s okay to be picky and/or less bold when taking risks: Failure is better than not trying at all.
• The truth on comparison shopping: The grass is not greener.
• We cannot retrieve time we’ve lost or fast forward to the future: Practice mindfulness daily.
• Let go of [fill in the blank]: Focus on what we can control.
• About giving back: In the end it’s not the years in your life that count; it’s the life in your years. ~ Abraham Lincoln.

How do you make life easier?

Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Breaking free: rote action is no action

 

I write about change. About Someday. About setting goals, taking baby steps, chasing dreams. Extending kindness and sparkles. Eliminating toxic people from our lives; hopefulness. Perseverance. What’s next. And then I “get” busy. Push it all to the back of my closet as I flit from task to task. Pretend I’ve taken hold of life by its proverbial horns. But my tiara is tarnished and I’m tired and all I want to do is jump off the non-stop roller coaster and figure stuff out before it’s too late. I think, for me, discontent no longer points to an unrealized purpose but, rather, my own personal purgatory where life isn’t just passing me by (see “Take action…”). Instead, it’s the rotten stench of anguish and despair that almost suffocates and renders me ineffective. Rote action is no action. Busy-ness can only put off, so long, what must be accomplished to escape from the grip of fear: of failure, regret. The unknown. So, what’s next?

How will you break free?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

When you feel like you’re getting nowhere

 

 

A couple of weeks ago, I submitted a 2,000-word story to a writers’ contest but can’t stop replaying the prose in my mind, knowing I could have done X, Y or Z to create a more compelling argument for why I should win the New York trip to study under a top-selling novelist. Then there’s a guest blog post I committed to writing, due in less than a month, yet I’m not sure I’m on the right track. During a recent yoga practice, I experienced one of those light bulb moments when I realized that, even after nearly four years since stepping foot into the hot room, I continue to learn something new—about yoga, about writing, about myself: Practice is simply the art of repetition—a habit or routine we adopt. And, whatever it is we’re practicing might not ‘click’ until we’re ready to move to the next level. So I keep writing, studying the craft and, most importantly: breathing.

What do you commit to regular practice?

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