Do you really need ‘all the things?’

Always a planner, even as a young girl, this year started no differently. Although, that soon changed as the COVID-19 pandemic swept across the world. It’s required a shifting—or pivoting—in plans and priorities, goals and mindsets. Some changes have been tough to swallow, while others serve to illustrate that our self-imposed schedules could benefit from extra “white space” for self-care and self-reflection. Personally, I’ve learned I don’t “need” everything I once thought necessary. For example, it turns out I don’t need to practice yoga in a heated room. Although I miss my tribe of Bikram practitioners, I’m content doing my own thing on my own time. And, as much as I coveted my monthly #selfcare of acupuncture and facials, I’ve discovered a coconut mask that, when used weekly, hydrates and brightens. Admittedly, it does require greater discipline for me to continue an at-home #selfcare and exercise regimen, but the time (and money) savings have been worth the effort.

What “luxuries” have you learned to do without?

Mind, body connection: 7 easy steps to maintaining balance

Usually when I awaken, my mind is fuzzy. A cottony tangle of sleepy remnants harvested over the previous seven hours. Yesterday morning, however, the synapses knitted together a single thought: balancing the mind-body connection. I could ask myself why I attempted to make sense of a topic that begs deeper scrutiny at any time other than 4:15 in the morning. But if I were to venture a guess, I’d say it’s because my sub-conscious was trying to get my attention to validate: I’m out of balance! This led me to check in with Google, which turned up these seven steps as a useful check-and-balance system for re-establishing and maintaining a mind-body connection: 1) take time each day to quiet the mind and pray/meditate; 2) eat a healthy diet; 3) exercise every day; 4) prioritize restful sleep; 5) release emotional toxins (i.e., let go of past hurts, disappointments and anger); 6) nurture loving relationships and 7) enjoy wholehearted laughter at least once daily.

How do you maintain mind-body connection?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Taking ownership: making your health & well-being priority

 

January turned out to be the month to exercise kindness: to myself (see “A new way to approach the New Year: what’s your word?“). Because let’s face it: if I’m not personally invested in myself, then who will be? On my quest to take ownership of my overall health and well-being, I’ve met with various doctors this month—including my primary care physician who ordered a glut of labs to rule out myriad disorders (yay, me), and my cardiologist who I retain to monitor a congenital heart defect. The good news: in all areas tested, I either show normal or improved results. There is no bad news. I feel like I’m finally back on track. And that the lifestyle modifications I’ve applied over the last half year are not only working, but they’re realistic and maintainable. For me, that’s a win-win. Next up: annual echocardiogram, and lab work to dismiss a familial blood disorder. Oh yes, and an overdue skin cancer checkup.

How do you invest in yourself?

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A new way to approach the New Year: what’s your word?

 

I think it would be much more sensible
if resolutions began generally
on January the second.
~ Helen Fielding (Bridget Jones’s Diary)

Resolution—a word that can conjure up anxiety, ill will, self-defeat—even before we put wings to it. For decades I’ve attempted to ring in the new year with resolutions, plans, intentions. This year, however, prior to the advent of Jan. 1, a single word settled upon my soul: “Exercise.” And because I already strive to incorporate 8-10 hours of weekly physical fitness into my life, my first thought sounded a lot like: WTH? But then I began putting pen to paper: Exercise… kindness. Exercise… my spiritual muscles. Exercise… self-control, self-discipline and my faith. Exercise… gratitude, creativity and my mind. And, yes, exercise my physical body. Each insight also includes tangible ways I can live out my word—a reference to measure my journey throughout the days and weeks ahead. It’s going to be a good year—I can feel it.

What’s your word for 2019?

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Transformative change: finding comfort in your own skin

On the topic of changing one’s mind (see “It’s okay to begin again…”), there’s a word for that which also encompasses changing one’s heart, self or way of life. According to Merriam-Webster, metanoia is a “transformative change of heart especially: a spiritual conversion.” I like to think it’s validation of where I find myself these days—in part due to the mindfulness journey I embarked on more than two months ago. As a daily exercise between conscious thought and a willing spirit, I’m drawn to life’s simpler things and able to find joy within both the hills and the valleys. Not only has my heart softened toward those closest to me and to the plight of the human condition, but I feel a richer compassion for myself. Although unsure of my next step, I’m okay with that because I’m moving forward. And, for the first time—maybe ever—I’m comfortable in my own skin. Perhaps Club 50 is “the new metanoia.” 

What recent transformative change have you experienced?

 

When others rain on your parade: dance in the storm

 

When we change our thought patterns, we change our lives. Spend enough time with Debbie Downer, or Negative Nick, and you will begin to notice more of the cracks and blemishes rather than the silver linings. What can go wrong will go wrong. It’s hard to remain sparkly when others in your circle focus on the dark clouds or even try to rain on your parade. However, I believe this is when we’re supposed to learn how to dance in the storm. Admittedly, over the past several weeks, I’ve allowed others to dampen my spirit and dim my sparkle. But, now that I’m jotting my blessings down daily, it’s easier to recognize other steps I need to take toward self-improvement. One area I’ve recommitted myself to is a healthier lifestyle to better manage my heart health and overall well-being. There are just too many blessings waiting for me to do anything but dance—and sparkle my way—through this one life.

How do you weather the daily storms?

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From the ground up: a foundation built to last

 

 

Guilty of sabotaging progress you’re making in life? Maybe you’ve ditched the prose you’re halfway through writing, the deadline only days away, because binge-watching Netflix appeals more. Or you wish every day was Friday pizza, wine and movie night instead of the yoga, ab or glute challenge you committed to last week. Once we fall from our carefully crafted plans, it’s challenging to get back on track. After a few of those days, however, I showed up for Bikram yoga practice but, instead of ditching my glasses, I donned them to better analyze my postures. Surprising (to me), I noticed toned muscles and, any “damage” I thought I’d done by eating poorly, was negated by a foundation of regular exercise and healthy eating I began building years ago. Same idea with my writing: a lifetime of dreaming, preparing for, educating myself and practicing the craft allows me to pick up where I leave off. A solid foundation is key to lasting success.

Where can you build a (better) foundation?

Image courtesy of Worakit Sirijinda at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Four ways to flush out frustration

The cure for anything is salt water:
sweat, tears or the sea. ~ Isak Dinesen

Many of my posts are written as reminders: I am good enough, strong enough, life is a journey, blah blah blah. Do I believe any of it? Yes. Do I ascribe to any of it? Sometimes. But let’s face it: I am not sparkly 24/7. I feel frustration, anger, disappointment, rejection. I wake up on the wrong side of the bed, forget to wear my crown, try to do it all and fail. I even manifest expectations onto my friends: Bam, it’s your fault I’m frustrated. Instead of allowing frustration to suck our lifeblood, however, flush it out. 1) Accept reality: if we can’t change it, then either live with it or be the change we wish to see. 2) Shift focus: involve ourselves in our favorite work, pastime, etc. 3) Exercise: exorcise those demons with sweat, tears (or the sea). 4) Journal it and/or talk it out.

What’s your remedy for frustration?

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An exercise in self-discovery

 

In my post, “Living in the ‘ah-ha’ moment,” I share my insights about enjoying the journey with no attachments to the past or future. Throughout the last two weeks, I’ve put this concept into practice—in my writing, my job and my relationships. Pertaining to my daily writing habit, I prefer to work on more than one project. This way, I can pick and choose what to work on depending on how I feel in that moment. I might opt to ramble in a blog, experiment with poetry, explore character development or draft a contest essay. For my job, I chart each day and manage the tasks as I go, adjusting as needed contingent on priorities. And in my relationships, I exercise a ‘go-with-the-flow’ mindset. This includes a spur-of-the-moment trip I booked to fly home and play catch up with family and friends. I’ve discovered that living in the ‘ah-ha’ moment is my favorite place to set up camp.

What have you discovered while living in the moment?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Lifestyle factors, depression and making a change

 

[Image credit: Jeanne Claire]

When we are no longer able to change a situation,
we are challenged to change ourselves.
~ Viktor Frankl

Recently I read about lifestyle factors that may contribute to making us feel depressed. They include grief, sleep-deprivation, lack of exercise, poor diet, stress, all work and no play, imbalanced hormones and missing meaning. The latter factor hit home for me because finding meaning fuels my happiness. According to Frankl, we can find meaning through work, relationships, helping others, learning, creative activities, spirituality and more. If we’re in a dead-end job or relationship, it’s easy to feel “lost” because our life doesn’t align with our values and goals (see Aligning our Beliefs, Actions).  If we’re grieving, counseling may be one answer. In order to be more fulfilled and to minimize feelings of depression, I’ve already started making changes. Baby steps. And hopefully with a little more sleep, and a lot more play, things will look better in the morning.

How do you know it’s time to make a change?