Suck it up, sister: when our words do little to help

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Well-meaning intentions, words meant to encourage and build up, may be reduced to mere platitudes or a stale Sunday-morning sermon to a heart unwilling (or unready) to hear. We might open-mouth-insert-foot or, instead, offer the perfect verbal hug. Regardless, if we approach each person, each situation, from a place of love, then we’ve done the thing. We cannot control the rest, but we can be kind. A new favorite quote of mine: “Sometimes not saying anything is the best answer. You see, silence cannot be misquoted.” I opt for silence when words fail me in the face of grief or hardship. Or when I have nothing nice to say. I admit, however, that oftentimes my zeal gets away from me and I overstep my bounds. But when the shoe is on the other foot—when it’s not what I want or think I need to hear—I hope I remember that a simple ‘thanks for your encouragement’ is always the right response.

When do you opt for silence?

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Rediscovering our personal truths


personal truths

This week while I wrapped up a work project, I rediscovered six personal truths that make me tick: 1) I do what I love. If I ever again must be reminded of the answer to the question, ‘Am I in the right field, career-wise?’ I need only recall the Adrenalin rush I experience each time I write. Now I want more. 2) I practice self-love. Self-love and cutting ourselves slack don’t necessarily mean the same thing. A glass of wine to relax, yes; chased by frosted Saltine crackers to de-stress, no. 3) The perfect time to start something never arrives. I am ready to take the next step toward living Today. 4) No (wo)man is an island. I desire to fellowship with others, to encourage and share accountability. And my editor usually knows best. 5) Better late than never. All good things take time. But deadlines are still important. 6) I am good enough. Yet there will always be room for improvement.

What personal truths have you rediscovered?

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Believe it, become it

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[Image credit: the path traveler]

We are all apt to believe what the world believes about us.
~ George Eliot

To some, the world consists of the family we’re born into.  To others, it extends to the classroom or the boardroom or a myriad of places in between.  Many young people grow up thinking they’re not smart enough or good enough; they’re too shy or outspoken, or will never amount to much.  If you hear something enough times, the words can seep under your skin until you believe each one — good or bad — to be true with every fiber of your being.  And as Eliot states, if you believe it, you’re apt to become it.  It is especially hard to break out of a negative mindset that has taken years or maybe just a few months to form.  This only goes to show how important it is to surround ourselves with people who encourage and enrich our lives, rather than discourage and nullify.  It isn’t so much how we feel about the next person; it’s how they make us feel about ourselves.  So even though we can’t pick our family, we can pick many of those who make up our world.

What does your world believe about you?