An authentic life

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

In my recent Word-of-the-month post, I talked about the nihility — or deep void — I’ve been struggling with lately.  After contemplating this overall emptiness, however, I’m wondering if it isn’t so much the missing something as it is not living out a life of day-to-day authenticity.  Instead of living a life true to ourselves, we oftentimes insist on conforming or fitting into a mold of what we (or others) think our lives should look like.  So rather than being who and what we were created to be, we force ourselves into pretend roles of complacency.  Then how do we live authentically?  Do we shed our masks, disregarding the consequences of our actions, and take the chance that we’ll be accepted as we are: dreams, flaws, desires and all?  Or do we continue to forge ahead, dressed in ill-fitting clothing because we’re either afraid, or because it’s the right thing to do?  For me, the answer currently seems as elusive as the wind.

Are you living a life of authenticity?

Word-of-the-month: nihility (n.)

[Image credit: Arvind Balaraman]

Within the past week or so, there has been a marked nihility in my life — a hole that must be filled.  I’ve sought to satisfy this emptiness by surrounding myself with like-minded people (see Dreamers and doers), attending Yoga practice nearly every day, meeting my basic spiritual needs, throwing myself into my day job and writing out goals to advance my writing career.  But the deep nihility remains.  It’s as if a little part of my heart has been excised and I’m waiting to find the missing piece.  The online definition of this noun is nothingness.  Synonyms include void, blank, oblivion and nonexistence.  Yet I continue to seek after the antonyms of capacity and fullness.  I’m not sure what it will take to attain wholeness.  Perhaps each stepping stone toward Someday will bring me closer.  Or maybe it will require the eventual realization of Someday in order to be complete.  All I know is what I’m currently doing is not working.

Is there nihility in your life?