Back it up: a hard lesson to learn

 

In my post from earlier this year, “Attaching labels to the dreams we chase,” I mention a weekend-long (remote) writing workshop I attended, and the subsequent “book of sorts” I penned. During those three days, I bled sweat and tears, my emotions raw and, at times, forcing me into a fetal position on my nearby bed. I swore, I wanted to quit and I cried. A lot. Yet, I persevered and completed the workshop along with a semblance of a story I hoped I’d return to one day to rework, rewrite, revise. More than six months later, that day came and went with nothing to show for it. Despite the three copies I had saved of my work, my book had vanished. All 50,000 words I’d poured out through my fingertips. Although I had backed it up, there were other avenues I could’ve taken to better protect it. But perhaps it’s simply not the story for me to tell at this time.

How do you protect important files?

Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

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It’s okay to begin again. And again.

 

If you feel like you’re starting over at square one today, pat yourself on the back for starting at all. Lately, I’ve not only begun the process of reinventing myself (again), but I’ve changed my mind countless times on how I envisioned my future—my “Someday.” Lesson number one: How many times do I have to remind myself that I am a work in progress? That means there are days when it looks like I have it all going on but others where I’m a hot mess from head to toe. It means my canvas might be covered in swaths of pinks and purples and a splash of glitter. Or blank when my sparkle needs to recharge. Lesson number two: I recently read that changing your mind equates to self-respect, and that “you owe nothing to your younger self. You are not failing because you are no longer chasing a dream you’ve outgrown.” Even if that younger self was last week.

How do you start over each day?

Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Breaking free: rote action is no action

 

I write about change. About Someday. About setting goals, taking baby steps, chasing dreams. Extending kindness and sparkles. Eliminating toxic people from our lives; hopefulness. Perseverance. What’s next. And then I “get” busy. Push it all to the back of my closet as I flit from task to task. Pretend I’ve taken hold of life by its proverbial horns. But my tiara is tarnished and I’m tired and all I want to do is jump off the non-stop roller coaster and figure stuff out before it’s too late. I think, for me, discontent no longer points to an unrealized purpose but, rather, my own personal purgatory where life isn’t just passing me by (see “Take action…”). Instead, it’s the rotten stench of anguish and despair that almost suffocates and renders me ineffective. Rote action is no action. Busy-ness can only put off, so long, what must be accomplished to escape from the grip of fear: of failure, regret. The unknown. So, what’s next?

How will you break free?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Sifting through the muck to reach the prize

What seems to us as bitter trials
are often blessings in disguise. ~ Oscar Wilde

For the past couple of weeks I’ve wrestled with psychological and emotional baggage that’s over 30 years in the making (and not flattering), which has also triggered a nasty case of monkey mind (also not pretty—see ‘Revisiting…’). Then add in to the mix an extra dose of restlessness that stems from myriad [new] dreams I dared dream and laid the foundation for last year, which I hope to begin living out in 2017. And most of the areas I’m working on will not and cannot realize change overnight. After all, it’s impossible to rush something you hope to last forever… or at least as long as you’re breathing. Any type of growth takes time. Healing—physical, emotional, spiritual or mental—takes time, too. I just need to remind myself of this while I wade through each trial to discover my own personal blessing.

Do you count them as today’s trials or blessings?

Image courtesy of fantasista at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

If following the rules is the answer, what is the question?

My last post, ‘Discovering your life’s purpose,’ closed with a teaser that promised to reveal the solution to my dilemma: What’s my purpose? First, let me clarify that this isn’t a blog about religion, although it includes a spiritual bent. I make no secret that I believe in a higher power. I hope this is evident in how I conduct myself within a framework of faith, hope and love, and not in my own strength. Moving on: A recent devotional talks about how ‘following the rules’ opens the door to answered petitions. But, when we step outside of what’s best for us, we deviate from the path to our individual destinies. This might be why the door seems to slam shut, at times, to the realized dreams and sated desires of our hearts. However, when we maintain alignment within the construct of our belief system, we create space for abundant blessings to flow in and through us. And to realize our purpose.

What’s your take on rule following?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Borrowed time: when you run out of somedays

 

I need to press pause here, in the midst of my ramblings about the pursuit of happiness, my dreams, Someday. Trivial musings in light of world affairs. And Rob, the cashier at my local grocery store who I write about in ‘Slow down, listen more…’ and ‘How (not) to be miserable…’ The one diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. As I head out of the store recently, I stop at his register. My heart aches for this kind man, a smile on his lips even as he presses a tissue to his mouth, coughing and gasping for his next breath. The cancer has spread and the third round of chemo, he says, is kicking his butt. His jeans hang from barely there hips; his hugs are bones at best. Yet he lights up when he mentions his recent trip to California. And next month—for his birthday—he is traveling to Hawaii. We all live on borrowed time. Rob is simply living his somedays now.

What about you?

Image courtesy of digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

If wishes came true

When I was younger, my father said most people work to pay the bills, that it’s not the norm to love what you do. One of the hardest-working men I’ve known, when he finally retired, his health deteriorated on a fast trajectory. I don’t know if he loved what he did throughout the years, but I did know I wanted to savor the best days of my life now. Consequently, after a quarter century working in administrative-type positions that simply paid the bills, I returned to school to study my passion for all things literary. During the past five years, I’ve whet my whistle in the business of publishing which I love (most) every day. However, if I’m honest, I live for Fridays and weekends. And if wishes came true, I’d be setting my own hours, living off my writing, traveling at whim (for research, of course) and Someday would only be a tattoo inked into my skin and no longer an elusive dream.

What is your wish?

Image courtesy of Exsodus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.