Got grief? Strategies to help manage heartache

 

Grief, like cancer, is not biased. Although grief, or heartache, focuses on the psyche, it can still kill: hope, good intentions, innocence. In “Moving forward through grief,” I talk about the stages of grief that many of us will or have encountered. No one situation looks the same; likewise, no one person assimilates grief the same way. Additionally, I believe this soul-deep sorrow can extend beyond loss into territories of unfulfilled dreams, unanswered prayer, disillusionment, broken relationships, failing health and so on. What we require is not a one-size-fits-all solution, but remedies we can apply to help us transition through it:

• Accept it: understand grief is a normal part of life
• Be patient: cut slack—with yourself and others—when appropriate
• Allow time: rest, rejuvenate and replenish as necessary
• Walk through it: realize it is only temporary; avoid setting up camp
• Admit a need: know when to ask for and/or to accept help
• Say no: don’t apologize, minimize or make excuses

What’s your strategy for coping with grief?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Disappointment: opportunity or drawback

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

Setbacks are badges of honor for those who try
to achieve something worthwhile. ~ SGI President Daisaku Ikeda

At one time in our lives, we may find ourselves in a position when we’re 100%-without-a-doubt certain of a particular outcome, only to have our hopes dashed when we discover we’re wrong.  Once we finally wade through the disillusionment, it’s possible we will question the error of our ways.  Going forward, we might second-guess every decision while looking for loopholes.  Some say it helps us, however, when we’re faced with similar situations in the future because we’ve been down that road before.  But in a way, I think we could feel a bit jaded or untrusting (see Regaining your balance).  Although I believe it’s possible to pick up the pieces and look at the world with fresh eyes, again, it may take more than an honest assessment of what makes us tick.  Perhaps it will require a change of scenery to start over.

Do you consider disappointments opportunities or drawbacks?