I quit.

One day, you wake up and just know it’s time to say, “I quit.” I quit the negative self-talk. I quit complaining. I quit obsessing (see “A time for everything…”). I quit whatever no longer serves me—the toxic behaviors that harm vs. heal, the co-dependent relationships that eclipse vs. edify, saying “yes” when I mean “no.” I quit making excuses and, instead, take ownership of my decisions, my goals, my commitments, my successes—and my failures. I quit piling on the unrealistic expectations, and replace them with my victories, big and small. I quit dreaming new dreams without attaching wings: the tangible steps I must take to create the reality my heart envisions. One day, you wake up and just know it’s time to say, “I begin.” And embrace every thrill ride, every bump, bruise and disappointment because it means you’re alive and present in this moment. That you’re breathing and you were created for a purpose.

What do you need to quit in order to begin?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

When all the butterflies die: look forward to new growth

 

While scrolling through Facebook recently, I stumbled upon this quote: “That feeling you get in your stomach when your heart’s broken. It’s like all the butterflies died.” I know a few things about broken hearts and dead butterflies. Hope deferred. Unmet expectations. Loss and emptiness. But during this new season, I am compelled, now more than ever, to make sense of my path. To reclaim that feeling of contentment I talk about in “Try it on for size…” To don happiness as a daily accessory. To welcome new growth. For far too long my attention has been fixated inward on my needs and wants and disappointments. And it’s time for me to look outward and focus on those around me.  To take a break from the distractions and agendas and whatever else thwarts, rather than advances, my purpose. Hopefully, in time, as I breathe and pray, I will discover what makes me tick and who I’m supposed to be.

How do you know you’re on the right path?

Practicing patience, perseverance

[Image credit: David Castillo Dominici]

If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.
~ Lao Tzu

I was ticking off complaints to a friend the other day because I’ve been stuck in an uncomfortable season for…well, a season. Often I look for an easy way out, but I was reminded if I attempt to avoid discomfort, it’s possible I’ll forgo a boatload of newfound strength and courage. Plus, the easy way doesn’t always mean the right way. And, if something is worth fighting for, then all the disappointments and frustrations I endure will serve as a reminder to hold on even tighter once I’ve reached my destination. No need to worry if I’m not where I want to be or think I should be now. What’s most important, in my opinion, is practicing patience and perseverance, while finding peace in the present.

What’s your MO for handling a difficult season?

Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen

[Image credit: digitalart]

The true way to soften one’s troubles is to solace those of others.  
~ Francoise D’Aubigne

Some say “misery loves company,” and maybe in a tiny way it’s true.  It’s nice to know we’re not alone, that others share our trials and disappointments.  But what if we could take our troubles and blur their sharp edges under our critical eye, obscuring them beyond our peripheral vision?  I believe that happens when we remove the focus from ourselves and zoom in on comforting our “company” — those around us who suffer with their own hardships and heartaches.  One of my friends shared a little story with me about how if everyone put their own baggage — the stuff that knocks the wind out of us and leaves a permanent crimp in our backs — in the middle of a pile, and then were presented the opportunity to pick up another’s burdens, we would inevitably choose our own each time.  As much as they drag us down, they’re ours and they fit.  But taking time to help someone carry their own load, however, might just make ours feel a whole lot lighter.

Is there someone around you who needs a little extra comfort today?

Spring-cleaning checklist

[Image credit: Suat Eman]

The trick is to enjoy life. Don’t wish away your days,
waiting for better ones ahead. ~ Marjorie Pay Hinckley

A couple of days ago I wrote about the rut I’m in and the possibility that it’s related to a case of spring fever.  But I also suggested a good seasonal cleaning might be beneficial.  I’m not talking about donning the rubber gloves and scrubbing the windows and screens, or purging closets and cupboards (although definitely not out of the question).  What I’m referring to is getting rid of the stuff — baggage with labels such as disappointments, failures, poor choices, regrets, (fill in the blank here) — we’ve accumulated since the beginning of the new year (or well before that) which hinders our daily living.  The past is the past.  Let’s purpose to leave it there right this very moment and focus on Today.  We can still wait for a better Tomorrow, but let’s work at arriving there with a much cleaner slate.  I think that may be the trick Ms. Hinckley is talking about.

Are you in need of a little spring cleaning to remove the baggage weighing you down?

What a ride!

[Image credit: anat_tikker]

Oftentimes, I get caught up in my own day-to-day issues — the ups and downs and everything in between.  From my sore ankle, to my fairly nonexistent gym life, to the myriad irons in the fire, to writing commitments (those I’m managing well and others I keep putting off), social obligations, health concerns, parenting, work and home lives, and the list goes on.  I can’t help but wonder how many of us believe we’re alone and no one can possibly understand half of what we’re dealing with on a daily basis.  But then I discovered during the course of various conversations over the past several months, that essentially the same stories repeat themselves — only with different names, faces and places.  Tales marked by similar themes of loneliness, heartache, unfulfilled dreams and disappointments.  Perhaps if I focused more on others by taking the spotlight off of myself — by donating my time to a worthy cause, for example — my own issues would pale in comparison.  Or at least maybe I’d better appreciate the view from my vantage point.  And it just might help make the ride easier for someone else.

How do you cope with life’s roller coaster?

Stuffing it in

[Image credit: digitalart]

Today’s post came to me as I reflected on how, from the outside, my injured ankle seemed ready to sport a pair of my “big girl” shoes (a.k.a. hot heels), as well as resume working out.  But below the surface, the muscles and tendons and ligaments were (and are) still healing, preparing my ankle to support my weight (in fashionable pumps and while performing lunges).  And I started thinking about how many of us are like that with our hurts and disappointments.  On the exterior, we appear to have it all together — nice home and car, good kids, decent marriage and career — but in reality, many of us are habitually stuffing our hopes into the far recesses of our minds to collect cobwebs and possibly die off altogether, while disguising the cracks in our shells the best we can.  Maybe it’s easier that way because we don’t want to make waves, trigger strife or hurt the ones we care about, or we’re afraid of change, it’s too much work and so on.  Or perhaps we’re in the exact place we’re supposed to be for a given season in order to prepare for the day when we can finally reclaim our dreams of happily-ever-after, dust them off and fully live in the moment we’ve been waiting for.

Do you hide your true self by stuffing it in, or go after what you want without looking back?