Making the decision to change: If not now, when?

On the heels of my post, “Habit vs. lifestyle…,” I read an article that begins with this sentence: One of the hardest things in life is feeling stuck in a situation that we don’t like and want to change. In the next breath, I opened an email promoting an article about mediocrity, stating that everything we have in our lives is what we want; i.e., if we wanted something different, we’d have something different. The author maintains that until we really want to change, we won’t. Our lives and our environments are a reflection of our desires. When our desires change, we adapt our environment to match our new desires. So what am I saying? In order to change, we must eliminate everything that contradicts our highest values. And then make a decision, followed by a commitment—always surrounding ourselves with the kind of friends who lift us higher. Finally, we must remember: a negative mind will not create a positive life.

What do you want to change?

Image source: https://quotefancy.com/.

Make it work: just do it

In my post, “How to discern the answer you’re looking for,” I talk about a trek into the desert that brings clarity to a dilemma and, although not a make-or-break-me situation, it’s a debate I engage in with myself on the daily (isn’t that a fun, hip phrase?). To write, or not to write—that is and has been the question for decades. However, during said hike, I discover, with certainty, that the desires knit into my heart prior to conception are not without a purpose (although TBD). So why don’t I jump for joy and shout with exultation?! Because life. And its plethora of more pressing goals and commitments; the battle between self-care and self-indulgence; the act of self-sacrifice to put others’ needs ahead of our own. But wait! To make it work does not mean all or nothing, nor does it require a choice of one dream at the expense of others. To make it work means: just do it.

How do you make it work?

Photo source: https://www.pinterest.com.

Staying power: what it is and where it comes from

While nursing a reflective mood recently, I scrolled upon these Facebook gems:

Burning desire to be or do something gives us staying power—a reason to get up every morning or to pick ourselves up and start in again after a disappointment. ~ Marsha Sinetar

True strength doesn’t come from loving yourself when you have your sh*t together, true strength comes when you can stand courageously in your darkest, messiest and weakest moments and still find the strength to love yourself beyond all circumstance and definition. ~ Jannine Murray

Give. But don’t allow yourself to be used. Love. But don’t allow your heart to be abused. Trust. But don’t be naive. Listen. But don’t lose your own voice. ~ Anonymous

I’ve been a little naïve, used, my heart abused. I’ve forgotten how to love myself, and I’m searching for the voice I’ve lost. But my passions afford me strength, staying power—disappointment after disappointment—because I have a reason to rise every day and begin anew.

What gives you staying power?

Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net. 

If following the rules is the answer, what is the question?

My last post, ‘Discovering your life’s purpose,’ closed with a teaser that promised to reveal the solution to my dilemma: What’s my purpose? First, let me clarify that this isn’t a blog about religion, although it includes a spiritual bent. I make no secret that I believe in a higher power. I hope this is evident in how I conduct myself within a framework of faith, hope and love, and not in my own strength. Moving on: A recent devotional talks about how ‘following the rules’ opens the door to answered petitions. But, when we step outside of what’s best for us, we deviate from the path to our individual destinies. This might be why the door seems to slam shut, at times, to the realized dreams and sated desires of our hearts. However, when we maintain alignment within the construct of our belief system, we create space for abundant blessings to flow in and through us. And to realize our purpose.

What’s your take on rule following?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

A fabulous life now, not Someday

It’s been a while since I’ve touched my blog, my muse relegated to the back seat, my nose, instead, buried between the pages of this book or that. My mental and physical well-being atop the list of priorities. Along with volunteering. Traveling. Holiday planning. Preparing a birthday bash to usher in a new season and, with that, envisioning the life I desire on the other side of fifty. Beyond fabulous, of course. Someday, I hope, writing will be my core vocation, although maybe not enough to relinquish the other stuff I fill my days with Today: like yoga and music ministry, time with family and friends. Plus the million and one tasks that keep the household running smoother than if I neglected to do my fair share; and work, because I enjoy a steady paycheck, the camaraderie of office life, a sense of purpose as part of a team. Perhaps my life is already fabulous. And Someday is already here.

Is Today the Someday you’ve always hoped for?

Easier said than done

That old saying in the title rings spot-on for me now more than ever since I committed to living my life Today (see “It’s just the beginning”). I’ve begun the process by initiating dialog, albeit painful, forcing me to examine my heart and my motives and to cull the truths from the lies about who I am and what I believe about myself. It feels like I’ve been squeezed through an emotional wringer over the past few days as I shine a light on the darkness and examine my character. I hope it hasn’t always been about my desires, my needs—but rather a wanderlust not to travel so much as to explore and learn, to grow into the most authentic version of the reflection I see in the mirror each day. Ultimately, I know what I must do. Yet that’s when it’s easier said than done. It’s scary… exhilarating. And I feel like I’m running out of time.

When is it easier said than done for you?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Proactive, passive and popping pimples

[Image credit: David Castillo Dominici]

“We accomplish things by directing our desires, not by ignoring them.”
~ Malcolm Forbes

If you ignore it, it’ll go away.  That was my mom’s solution for dealing with pimples.  In response to my recent blog, What we focus on expands, one reader suggested he could stop thinking about his belly and maybe that would work.  I don’t believe that ignoring or taking attention from something will change an outcome; however, it may lessen the consequences.  For instance, when I didn’t heed my mom’s advice and still picked my face, it inevitably took longer to heal.  But if we ignore a bad habit, the barking dog, a pain in our side — whatever it is — it typically gets worse before it gets better (and matters of health should not be brushed under the carpet).  Being proactive rather than passive should garner results, especially when it comes to pursuing our desires.  But not necessarily as it relates to pimples.

Do you ignore things, hoping whatever it is will go away?