Make peace with the past: say goodbye to unrequited dreams

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In a recent post, “Information overload…” I list six key points that continue to rattle around in my mind. Point number five deals with a hurting heart: for a world that appears to have turned against itself (yes, I know there is still good to be found) and for those in my life who daily battle demons I cannot begin to fathom. And even for my own fractured dreams. However, when a dream we dream seems to die a sudden—or a slow and painful—death to the point where it is no longer recognizable, it’s time to bury it, bid it farewell and then muster up the courage to dream a new dream. Maybe we can salvage the once-upon-a-time ideal. The Someday mentality. Or perhaps we simply accept that our dream was biased, its outcome never within our reach from the beginning. This fresh understanding permits us to make peace with the past and forge a new future. To dream new dreams.

What dream do you dream?

Fear is *not* a favorite F word

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Fear

Fear can be debilitating. Fear of… failure, the unknown, change, making a mistake, saying the wrong thing, getting hurt, causing pain, running out of time, missing out. Regret. The other day, I made a decision, set my plan in motion and, for several hours, I felt at peace about it. Only, when it came time to execute ‘said’ plan, fear seized and held me captive, resulting in an aborted mission. The solution? I must confront my fears, head on, instead of running away from whatever situation I’m facing. Otherwise, I will never be able to make peace with the past and move forward into the present that’s waiting for me to delight in. But this requires courage that I have yet to access, and confidence to trust in the process. It also requires daily positive affirmations that, indeed, I am good enough. And keep in mind: There are no mistakes. Just life lessons. So that’s one fear we can all say goodbye to.

What is your biggest fear?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

A timid sign of courage

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[Image credit: digitalart]

Resignation is the timid sign of courage. ~ James Joyce

Sometimes, no matter what I do, it doesn’t seem to matter.  The starting and middle points may look differently each time, but the ending place — or outcome — is relatively the same.  I might change my attitude or choose to travel an alternate route to get where I’m going, believing these little differences may modify the near or distant future for me and/or others.  But instead, I’m confronted with a familiar terrain.  It’s called resignation.  Eventually I learn that resistance is futile and, even with the best of intentions, I find it’s better to courageously accept that which I cannot change.  I have yet to perfect it, but I am learning that some things simply defy explanation and it’s easier to acquiesce than to put up a fight.  Throw in a little patience, too, and hopefully I possess a recipe for a successful outcome.

Do you resign yourself to the inevitable or work hard to change an end result?

Owning the truth

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[Image credit: thepathtraveler]

This past week I found myself struggling with a backseat mentality again (see Never settle for second best).  It doesn’t help that recently someone close to me also called me a derogatory name.  In that instance, the choice was mine to “own” the label or not.  Although it has taken me several decades to realize the only thing I do own is my reaction to life’s circumstances, it’s still hard to put that notion into practice.  However, the way someone treats me has no bearing on who I am — or my contribution to the little slice of world I reside in.  So if someone tells me with their actions that I’m not worthy or someone else calls me a name, I can either accept and live out these perceptions and words as truth, or I can shed them and move on.  It just takes a little faith and a whole lot of courage.

Do you choose to own the hurts, or leave them behind?

Being true to yourself

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[Image credit: Photography by BJWOK]

… be yourself — not your idea of what you think somebody else’s
 idea of yourself should be.
~ Henry David Thoreau

I think every child should be raised believing they’re good enough … just the way they are.  For so many years, I was on the outside looking in and wishing I was one of the “popular” girls.  Willing myself to be shorter and less gawky, dressed more stylishly, have prettier hair, clearer skin, younger parents, be better at sports (okay, be good at sports), possess curves in all the right places, ooze with confidence and ambition and the list goes on.  Becoming an adult didn’t do much to change this thought process, just included different ideals (however skewed).  But I think I may be one of those “late bloomers” — not coming into my own until the last few years.  If I knew then what I know now, I wonder if I would have spent as much time wishing and oftentimes attempting to be someone I’m not — saying all the right things and going through the motions.  It certainly would have prevented a lot of wasted time, second-guessing and poor choices.  But maybe that was the only way for me to get from Today to the promise of Someday.  Because with each yesterday behind me and tomorrow ahead of me, I become more sure of myself and what I want out of life.  I just hope I haven’t waited too long to figure it out, and that I have the courage to go after it.

Be yourself, everyone else is already taken. ~ Dr. Seuss

Are there areas in your life, where you are less than true to yourself?