The right thing

This can be a tough concept in whatever capacity we find ourselves—parent, wife, boyfriend, employee, neighbor—the person whose reflection we meet in the mirror every morning. I don’t know that the execution is the hardest part, but rather coming to the realization and acceptance that both are one in the same. I’ve recently learned that I lean toward passive-aggressive behavior. Although a surprise to me, I can see it originating in my childhood. I am a people pleaser and I never want to disappoint, but somewhere along the line I started to believe I don’t deserve to have my wants or needs met. So I have historically adopted a “martyr-like” mentality and stuffed my real feelings. Obviously, this is counterproductive and little gets resolved except more feelings of inadequacy, bitterness and self-doubt on my part. However, little by little I’m beginning to speak up for myself and do the right thing.

What is one thing in your life that’s been both the hardest and the right thing?

Making it a habit

[Image credit: Salvatore Vuono]

In Addressing the hard stuff, we focused on the reason(s) why we might possess a certain character flaw.  As we acknowledged, not all habits are detrimental (like my inability to consistently practice punctuality).  But if we take the “icky” labeled selfishness or low self-esteem and work at consciously recognizing when we exhibit these traits, hopefully it will lead to a positive substitute.  In other words: replacing the bad habit with a good one.  For example, if selfishness rears its ugly head when we don’t get our way, perhaps it’s possible to look for a compromise which benefits both parties.  Or, if our sense of worth or identity is threatened, we might voice our concerns at the time instead of stuffing in our feelings or making counterproductive choices.  According to experts, a habit takes at least 21 days to form, good or bad.  Three weeks is nothing to improve ourselves; are you with me?

Is there a positive habit you need to start working on today?

Worry gets us nowhere fast

[Image credit: Salvatore Vuono]

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.  ~Author Unknown

In my post On your mark, get set … I bring up the idea of fear immobilizing us even before we get started.  On that same note, fear is also counterproductive.  We can be scared to death, worry ourselves sick, give ourselves ulcers or any number of clichéd maladies, but the truth of the matter is that fear does not change the outcome.  As a matter of fact, it may possibly make it worse.   Of course, if we’re able to rectify the problem or concern right away, then worry is cut off at the root and not allowed to grow into a full-blown panic attack.  But there have been countless nights when I’ve kept myself awake fretting over an issue that can’t be addressed until morning.  And with that being the case, you’d think I’d simply make a note and tackle the situation in the light of day … when everything looks better anyway.  But even though we know better, it’s easy to get caught up in emotions rather than letting logic lead the way.  One of these days (or nights) I hope to get it right.

Are you a worry wart, or are you able to let concerns roll easily off your back?