When all the butterflies die: look forward to new growth

 

While scrolling through Facebook recently, I stumbled upon this quote: “That feeling you get in your stomach when your heart’s broken. It’s like all the butterflies died.” I know a few things about broken hearts and dead butterflies. Hope deferred. Unmet expectations. Loss and emptiness. But during this new season, I am compelled, now more than ever, to make sense of my path. To reclaim that feeling of contentment I talk about in “Try it on for size…” To don happiness as a daily accessory. To welcome new growth. For far too long my attention has been fixated inward on my needs and wants and disappointments. And it’s time for me to look outward and focus on those around me.  To take a break from the distractions and agendas and whatever else thwarts, rather than advances, my purpose. Hopefully, in time, as I breathe and pray, I will discover what makes me tick and who I’m supposed to be.

How do you know you’re on the right path?

Try it on for size: encountering contentment

For years I’ve struggled with a fast-track mentality: I need to get this done now, go here then, achieve that by the time I’m X years old and the list goes on. I write about what feels like a race against the clock in “Doing life in the fast lane” and how while the first 50 years took their own sweet time, now the necessity to apply imaginary brakes in order to slow time… grips me with a palpable intensity. “There’s just not enough time,” becomes a familiar refrain. Yet I sense a shift, an infinitesimal settling, deep down, where my soul works out my purpose day in and day out—the feeling that maybe it’s okay if I sink back into my days, my hours, each moment. Go with it rather than fight against it, the ebb of time and its cyclical flow. A contentedness washes over me, as if I’m trying on this new season and it finally fits.

Are you a “fast-tracker” or go-with-the-flow type?

Photo courtesy of adamr at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

The Power of P

If the number of visitors who read my recent post, ‘A simple(r) life…,’ is any indication of what much of society pursues, then this topic ranks up there with all things happiness-related. I believe that’s because a happy, simple life is a basic necessity many of us seek. However, we often get in our own way and make it complicated, instead. For example, if you’ve searched for happiness your entire life—in relationships, material goods, addictions, net worth—you’ve discovered it’s an illusion, a temporary fix. Why? Because true happiness manifests itself when we sow into others’ lives something of value, something that will last: our time. A simplicity known as kindness. It’s only then that we find fulfillment—contentment that arises from a humble heart. Good news: it’s an ongoing practice, not perfect. With that said, my pursuits for 2017 revolve around keeping it simple with the power of P: peace, patience, purpose and a more passionate prayer life.

What is your No. 1 goal for 2017?

Image courtesy of gubgib at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Understanding the root of pride

Pride is concerned with who is right.
Humility is concerned with what is right.
~ Ezra T. Benson

In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis writes, “For pride is spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense.” In my own quest for happiness, I discovered that self—once removed from the equation—makes room for joy. Both of today’s quotes, I think, revolve around self as the root of pride. Recently, I felt disconnected to a close friend and tried to share my feelings. Rather than attempt to understand my heart, however, this person blew off our relationship. My friend’s actions played out louder than words but, although the outcome saddens me, I believe that humbling myself will destroy any self-imposed stumbling blocks and release a bounty of blessings going forward. Doing the right thing is not always the easy thing, but the possibility of love, contentment and common sense is worth it.

What do you believe is the root of pride?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Handling the unexpected

When I complete a survey now, I check the 50-55 box (when did that happen?). Finally, I’ve discovered happiness in its myriad levels—joy, contentment, peace. I’ve gotten the hang of this balanced life thing and look forward to simplifying in the New Year so I can experience more of the above. I’ve set the cruise control and am prepared to sparkle my way into this new season. But what happens when you’re traveling on the right path and life behind the wheel doesn’t look like you hoped for or expected? Maybe you’ve returned to your proverbial waiting place to plan for a new transition (e.g., career change or physical relocation). Perhaps your GPS requires recalibration to allow you to regroup while you navigate the scenic route for a spell. It’s possible a recent challenge or setback is meant to strengthen you to help family or friends. Just take a deep breath, sit back and savor the ride. And Happy New Year!

How do you handle the unexpected?

Image courtesy of jk1991 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Going through the motions

[Image credit: savit keawtavee]

Another life lesson I’ve learned is that sometimes we have to dance the dance — go through the motions — even when we don’t want to.  As with most things in life, it takes two (or more) to tango.  And over the years, our dance partners range from boyfriends or girlfriends to spouses or children.  Or all of the above.  These moves we’re practicing possess names such as compromise, commitment, sacrifice.  So day in and day out, we go through the motions.  Sometimes we trip up, but for the most part, we muddle through.  Although no pomp and circumstance trails in our wake and no fireworks light the sky, in time we may recognize a sense of contentment filing the empty spaces.  Perhaps former dreams finally receive that facelift we’ve been saving for.  Then, if we’re lucky, when Someday arrives we’ll be dancing because we want to.

Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we’re here we should dance.  ~ Author Unknown

Do you dance because you have to, or want to?