Are you an energy drain? Check your attitude at the door.

Gratitude and grumbles cannot co-exist. Two words: self-fulfilling prophecy. And it works for both the big and the small stuff. Think about it: When we adopt an attitude of gratitude, we automatically align ourselves to receive a positive outcome. I’m sure you’ve heard this advice: You attract more flies with honey. Same concept. Conversely, grumbling and focusing on everything wrong obscures many of the joys of life and invites cynicism and negativity into our heart space. Plus, it can prove an energy drain on those around us. As with any new habit, or lifestyle change, we must allow ourselves time and patience—beginning with baby steps. For example, start by expecting light traffic… an ideal parking space… a short wait in line… a waived service fee… and give thanks upon receipt. With consistent use, our gratitude “muscles” will grow stronger and it’ll become easier to expect the big(ger) stuff: the job promotion… a healed injury… the published short story… Consistency is key.

What are you grateful for today?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Straight talk about the small stuff: don’t sweat it

I possess little patience for complainers although, admittedly, complaints come far too easy for me. Yet, if you say it’s too hot—and you live in Minnesota where winters last forever or you live in Arizona where, you know, it’s a desert—I will likely show little to no sympathy. #SorryNotSorry. This has become larger than life over the past couple of weeks as I watched a dear and beautiful friend of nearly two decades lose her fight against cancer. As I embraced a husband who prepared to say goodbye to his bride of 22 years. While I hugged a daughter about to lose her mother and a best friend about to lose her confidante. Several years ago, I, myself, walked through the shadow of the valley of death—the days and months following my husband’s near-fatal car accident. But, once life resumed an air of normality, it was easy to forget how unimportant the little things are. Let’s try not to.

Do you sweat the small stuff?

Photo source: http://www.peacetothepeople.com.

Effecting change: love harder, forgive more

During my lifetime, I’ve met basically two kinds of people: The ones who are grateful simply because they are alive and breathing, equipped with the ability to contribute to society in some way; and the ones who greet you with, “It’s going to be a bad day” and proceed to tick off a barrage of superficial complaints. In my own experience, each set of people exhibits certain stereotypical qualities. The former kind seeks to put others’ needs first, walks his/her talk, leads by example and always looks for the good in humanity. The latter kind tends to obsess over messages of hate and judgment, holds grudges and finds fault with (seemingly) every little thing. Oh, how my heart aches for storm-ravaged Texas, the condition of our world, for the division that separates. My deepest desire is to collectively become one kind of people who learn to dismiss the small stuff, love harder, forgive more and unite to make a radical difference.

What can you do to effect change?

Photo courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

A challenge to put mindfulness to work: Quit complaining

You might have heard, at one time, that you can do anything—for 60 seconds, 10 minutes, a half hour a day. It’s also said you can create or break a habit in just 21 days. In my recent posts, “A month of mindfulness…” and “7 tips to incorporate mindfulness…,” I suggest myriad ways to daily practice a deeper awareness within each moment—which could seem overwhelming. However, I’d like to propose a challenge. For the next 24 hours, choose one area of focus in which to incorporate mindfulness: quit complaining. As I write about in “Complaints don’t change a thing,” we can get caught up in negativity and miss out on the positive, the good that surrounds us. Even seemingly harmless comments like, I’m so tired, or the weather, traffic or XYZ sucks… can quickly turn our thoughts inward and escalate a pessimistic mentality. Just for today, let’s create a complaint-free zone and watch the life-changing magic unfold.

How hard is it for you to quit complaining?

How to excel at this one life

Many self-help articles share a common theme on how to grow and excel at this one life: stop complaining. This doesn’t mean we can’t vent our frustrations, but how about a new approach? Rather than spew negativity to those around us, let’s try writing it down; i.e., spend a few minutes daily journaling our angst. Maybe your partner behaved inconsiderately or you forgot to fill up your gas tank for the week. Or perhaps the first work email of the day rubbed you the wrong way or your alarm went off much too early this morning (it can’t be Monday already, can it?) and your stomach is in knots—knowing that after an eight-hour day, a 2 ½-hour HOA board meeting follows. Once you’ve written everything down, release these thoughts and mindfully replace them with thankfulness: It’s a new day. You’re breathing. Friday’s coming. Everything is temporary. Most on-point quote (by Heraclitus): There is nothing permanent except change. #truestory

Is your MO to complain or to be grateful?

Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Complaints don’t change a thing

[image credit: jesadaphorn]

I’ve noticed a trend lately. Maybe it isn’t something new and I’m just more in tune because it’s something I’m working on changing within myself. It goes along with the “palms-open approach” I wrote about: releasing expectations to receive whatever is in store for me. Practicing this conscious thought process has been an exercise in freedom because it has allowed me to more fully live in each moment. What I’ve noticed, however, between friends and acquaintances and across social media, is that oftentimes the negative is elevated to a status it doesn’t deserve. I’m not saying we should brush misfortune or disappointment under the rug, but why give either one more credit than necessary? If our thoughts eventually dictate our destiny, then I want whatever I think on to be positive, life-affirming and the opposite of a Debbie Downer mentality. Complaints rarely change anything. But a happy attitude begets a happy attitude. Serve me up another cup of happy, please.

What if you spent one day without complaining?