Making it a habit

[Image credit: Salvatore Vuono]

In Addressing the hard stuff, we focused on the reason(s) why we might possess a certain character flaw.  As we acknowledged, not all habits are detrimental (like my inability to consistently practice punctuality).  But if we take the “icky” labeled selfishness or low self-esteem and work at consciously recognizing when we exhibit these traits, hopefully it will lead to a positive substitute.  In other words: replacing the bad habit with a good one.  For example, if selfishness rears its ugly head when we don’t get our way, perhaps it’s possible to look for a compromise which benefits both parties.  Or, if our sense of worth or identity is threatened, we might voice our concerns at the time instead of stuffing in our feelings or making counterproductive choices.  According to experts, a habit takes at least 21 days to form, good or bad.  Three weeks is nothing to improve ourselves; are you with me?

Is there a positive habit you need to start working on today?

Addressing the hard stuff

[Image credit: digitalart]

I’ve noticed that once I agonize over one decision and finally choose the path I’ll take, another choice inevitably needs to be made.  I think it’s because of the ripple effect — a series of consequences caused by a single action or event (Dictionary.com).  But the good news is that once we pinpoint the root(s) of our problems, we’re in a position to address and nip it or them in the bud (effectively cutting off  any ripples).  For me, it’s been helpful to ask the question: Why?  Using low self-worth as an example, I’ve sought to understand the reason(s) I continue to battle this character flaw despite the loving support of family and close friends.  Validation of my worth is not a harmful endeavor in itself, unless my trials with low self-esteem lead the way to poor decision-making.  Whatever the reason(s) we entertain a negative behavior, however, turning it around is key.

What’s your MO for addressing the hard stuff?