It’s just the beginning

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The beginning

At some point you need to take your life into your own hands. And make your own decisions. Start living the life you want now. Texted to me from a friend after listening to the broken record of my life again, I read these words nestled between a bit of well-deserved derision, and then returned to my safety net (see “Habits are choices…”). As expected, I woke up puffy and sad, no closer to any resolution. Except at some point I need to take my life into my own hands. And make my own decisions. And start living the life I want now. Not tomorrow. Not Someday. Today. This means committing to a few tough choices, making mistakes, disappointing people, feeling discomfort instead of stuffing it. And forgiving myself for waiting so long. Because my heart is heavy, burdened, by conforming to a life that no longer fits—the caterpillar who believes her world is over. Yet it’s only beginning.

Is this the life you want to live?

Image courtesy of mrpuen at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Putting on my big girl panties

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Tutu glitter

It’s not working. The path to my purpose, plan and joy; living in the ‘ah-ha’ moment; circumnavigating discontent; creating my own luck (and balance)… you name it: Just. Not. Happening. And I’m a broken record when it comes to the things in my life I’m unwilling to change in the first place. My sweet friend, Joan, said, Maybe you just can’t [do anything about it] right now. You’ve got lots of stuff going on… You’ll come out of this… then you’ll fix what ails you, a little at a time. She reminded me it’s all about baby steps. Yet, even indecision is a decision. So for now I’ve decided to flounder a bit, “cut myself slack” and indulge in a little selfishness—with my time and energies. To heck with the big girl panties. It’s time for me to stock up on chocolate, wine and paperbacks, and to stop waiting for Someday to arrive in order to start rocking my tutu Today.

How will you live out Today?

Image courtesy of DealDash’s Photos.

Put the needle on the record, put the needle on the record …

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[Image credit: dan]

I’ve been accused of resembling a broken record.  For those readers who don’t know what a record is, ask your parents or grandparents.  Simply speaking, a record looks like a giant CD with grooves, or tracks where a needle rests as it revolves around a turntable.  And a broken record skips tracks — meaning, it repeats itself.  In my post entitled You know what you’re doing wrong, I touched on how we tend to repeat the same unhealthy behaviors.  Yesterday, after nearly two weeks of resting my ankle, I finally made it back to the gym.  Right away I began complaining about how I looked and felt due to continued poor food choices.  My trainer’s response to me this time was a question rather than a statement: whose fault is it?  How easy it is to point the finger at someone else when faced with this question no matter the topic.  But the truth is, in this case I have no one to blame but myself.  I’d say it’s past time to trade the record in for a new model.

Do you find yourself regularly complaining about something only you can change?