When life is spinning out of control: what we CAN control

One day you’re anticipating a new decade ripe with possibility. Big things—good things—finally appear within your grasp. But then: boom! Life as you know it: kaput. Unless you’ve remained sequestered from #allthethings, you realize this is your new normal. As a human being, compassion toward the collective face of humanity—splashed across myriad news reports and social media feeds—proves a concerted effort at times. As a Believer, the status quo tests my faith. Yet, after I wade through my battered emotions, I acknowledge a call to action: to reprioritize. To re-evaluate my direction. To shift my focus from the race and to grasp onto the one thing—literally!—within my control: what I can do this moment.

1. Pray… continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
2. Connect… with friends/family/neighbors/support groups via social distancing/texting/calling/emailing/FaceTiming
3. Appreciate… every blessing
4. Extend… love/kindness/help/laughter/smiles/forgiveness/encouragement/grace
5. Begin… a new project/book/craft/online course/wellness program/etc.
6. Breathe… and be present

Feel free to add to my list… and reach out anytime through my contact page.

When others rain on your parade: dance in the storm

 

When we change our thought patterns, we change our lives. Spend enough time with Debbie Downer, or Negative Nick, and you will begin to notice more of the cracks and blemishes rather than the silver linings. What can go wrong will go wrong. It’s hard to remain sparkly when others in your circle focus on the dark clouds or even try to rain on your parade. However, I believe this is when we’re supposed to learn how to dance in the storm. Admittedly, over the past several weeks, I’ve allowed others to dampen my spirit and dim my sparkle. But, now that I’m jotting my blessings down daily, it’s easier to recognize other steps I need to take toward self-improvement. One area I’ve recommitted myself to is a healthier lifestyle to better manage my heart health and overall well-being. There are just too many blessings waiting for me to do anything but dance—and sparkle my way—through this one life.

How do you weather the daily storms?

Image courtesy of radnatt at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Change your thought patterns, change your life

 

In my recent post, “Be a miracle worker…,” I list a few examples of what self-improvement might look like, and I introduce a need to focus on my personal growth. For me, this means making changes to my everyday approach to life, including a radical shift in my thought patterns. Plus, I must look at the long-term with an open mind. These aren’t new epiphanies yet, during a recent hike, they materialized in a more profound way. Every several hundred feet, I’d look up from the rock-strewn path to the cerulean skies above. The mountaintops towered over me, reminders of how tiny I am… the fragility of life. And that instead of lamenting the stumbling blocks and detours on my journey, it’s essential to express gratitude for my daily blessings. When we shift our gaze on the things we’re thankful for, we have less time to “see” the disappointments. And sometimes what we think we want is nothing compared to what awaits.

What thought pattern can you change?

Newsflash: it’s not all about you

 

When the familiar ache in my heart warns me a self-inflicted pity party might be in progress soon, I remind myself of the truth in Gretta Brooker Palmer’s quote about how making someone else happy serves to sprinkle joy into our own lives. A backwash of blessings, if you will. Mary, the woman I write about in ‘The secret to a happy life,’ whose partner withholds communication and touch on a regular basis, has taught me much about removing self from the equation. To take what I’m missing in my life and turn loss into an opportunity to pick myself up for the umpteenth time, dust off the ashes and allow my faith to create beauty in the lives of those around me. The hardest part is keeping our gaze fixed ahead of us, rather than focusing inward on our lack. Just for today, let’s discard our metaphorical blinders and do something kind for someone else. I guarantee we’ll both feel better.

How can you change your focus?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Understanding the root of pride

Pride is concerned with who is right.
Humility is concerned with what is right.
~ Ezra T. Benson

In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis writes, “For pride is spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense.” In my own quest for happiness, I discovered that self—once removed from the equation—makes room for joy. Both of today’s quotes, I think, revolve around self as the root of pride. Recently, I felt disconnected to a close friend and tried to share my feelings. Rather than attempt to understand my heart, however, this person blew off our relationship. My friend’s actions played out louder than words but, although the outcome saddens me, I believe that humbling myself will destroy any self-imposed stumbling blocks and release a bounty of blessings going forward. Doing the right thing is not always the easy thing, but the possibility of love, contentment and common sense is worth it.

What do you believe is the root of pride?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Listen up: bridge the communication gap

Several years ago, I wrote about how ‘When only up close and personal will do’ in cases where instant communication doesn’t do the trick. I find myself in that spot again, torn into a million tiny pieces because I cannot be with several loved ones going through their own challenges—health, relationships, financial, employment or otherwise. But I can, at least, carve time into my daily routine each morning to offer up prayers and petitions for these dear people in my life, grateful for every one of them. And I hope this affords them a semblance of peace amidst whatever chaos they struggle with. To be kind in word and deed to those in my little world is a blessing I cherish; yet, when I’m unable to offer a touch, a helping hand, words to make it right or a shoulder to cry on, I can listen—whether I’m in the same room, or halfway across the country. Sometimes that’s enough.

How do you bridge the communication gap?

Image courtesy of chanpipat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

A rebirth of sorts: happiness at last

As the year draws to a close, and as I grasp tightly (kicking and screaming) the vestiges of my forties for a few days longer, I reflect on that for which I’m grateful: Those friends who have come and gone from my life—the ones who bless me daily, and those who served the sole purpose of teaching me (sometimes painful) lessons; the second chances I’ve been gifted, a new path to traverse—a clean slate, if you will. I’m energized by the possibilities, my heart lighter than ever. And as I step into this new season, I can honestly say I’ve discovered what I’ve been searching for all this time. The funny thing is it’s been right under my nose all along. Because when I finally stopped focusing on me—my needs, my expectations, my self—I understood for the first time what it means to be happy. So happy rebirthday to me… a fresh beginning to sparkle where I’m planted.

Where could you use a rebirth?

Image courtesy of Nongkran_ch at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Purging and prioritizing: housekeeping for the soul

Hard, this life thing. Over the past few weeks I’ve engaged in significant housekeeping tasks that, below the surface, denote a clean slate—a ‘starting over’ in practice and in theory. On the home front, I’ve tackled clutter and tossed what is no longer necessary, bagged up things to be sorted through eventually and donated items I hope might bless others. My personal life also experienced a collective loss, which has become the catalyst toward a sense of peace and healing—an opportunity to put my priorities in right order, to live with intention instead of allowing life to happen to me. Every regret or mistake I’ve made is a lesson learned, a temporary memory purged much like photos that fade over time or are deleted off a hard drive. And then replaced by the truth of knowing I’m finally on the right path as I leave behind my self-centered ways and prepare to step into my fabulous new life.

How do you ‘get over’ regrets or mistakes?

The littlest of blessings

At the beginning of 2013, I pulled out a jar from the cupboard and placed it in plain view. The plan was for my family to jot down things we’re grateful for throughout the year and add these slips of paper to the jar. On New Year’s Eve, we’re supposed to read the notes and reflect on all of the blessings we received. Not unlike a clean slate on Jan. 1, an empty jar leaves so much room for possibilities. Glancing at the jar as I write this, I’m disappointed to see only a few pieces of paper scattered across the bottom. Although I know I’ve forgotten to write down some of the “good” things over the past 11 months, overall it’s been a challenging year. Consequently, the few slips of paper we’ll review at the end of December are that much more precious. And it makes me determined to recognize even the littlest of blessings I receive in 2014.

Has it been a “good” year for you?

When bad things happen

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

After the horrific tragedy in our country on the 14th, the thought of celebrating my birthday was low on the priority list.  I opted to cancel my party — both the train park and the live entertainment.  Once I got home from work, I threw a load of laundry in the washer and contemplated how I wanted to spend the remainder of “my” day.  Deciding on a quiet dinner out with my little family, I mentioned to a close friend that she and her fiancé were welcome to join us if they were in the area.  It turned out to be a night to cherish my blessings: family.  Friends.  Another year of life.  Later on when I mentioned to another friend my feelings of guilt at enjoying myself, he reminded me that even though bad things happen in the world, it’s still okay to celebrate our own good things.  And that’s exactly what I did.

When bad things happen, are you able to embrace the blessings in your life?