Do you really need ‘all the things?’

Always a planner, even as a young girl, this year started no differently. Although, that soon changed as the COVID-19 pandemic swept across the world. It’s required a shifting—or pivoting—in plans and priorities, goals and mindsets. Some changes have been tough to swallow, while others serve to illustrate that our self-imposed schedules could benefit from extra “white space” for self-care and self-reflection. Personally, I’ve learned I don’t “need” everything I once thought necessary. For example, it turns out I don’t need to practice yoga in a heated room. Although I miss my tribe of Bikram practitioners, I’m content doing my own thing on my own time. And, as much as I coveted my monthly #selfcare of acupuncture and facials, I’ve discovered a coconut mask that, when used weekly, hydrates and brightens. Admittedly, it does require greater discipline for me to continue an at-home #selfcare and exercise regimen, but the time (and money) savings have been worth the effort.

What “luxuries” have you learned to do without?

Mojo with a twist: positive affirmations

The last day of my 30-Day Reboot Challenge came and went with very little fanfare. Maybe because I got off track at times. Regardless, one of the biggest revelations to me was that the words we speak about ourselves—whether in our own minds or while talking with others—affect not only our psyches (mental and emotional), but also our physicality. I tested the theory of positive affirmations in the hot room one afternoon during yoga: I wore a top that reads “Strong is the new skinny” and I stared at that shirt for the next 90 minutes. This affirmation of strength resonated throughout the following 90 minutes and my body responded with a strong, grounded practice. But it doesn’t end with positivity. We also limit our success with the words (and thoughts) we entertain that devalue or restrict our capabilities (see The Language of Limitation and Hate-Speak). Let’s make a pact today: to speak self-love. And then witness a powerful transformation.

What does your self-speak sound like?

Image courtesy of sattva at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Stretching, bending our muscle memory

Part of living my life ‘Today’ includes doing things that displace me from my comfort zone. For example, on a recent routine pizza/movie night, I opted, instead, for dinner at a new venue, followed by musical entertainment—which resulted in unexpected, albeit pleasant surprises. One morning I attended a ‘silent’ yoga class, allowing me to focus on my breath and my thoughts without distraction; another day I practiced in the second row where my image is blurrier and it’s harder to pinpoint those areas I might otherwise judge or become preoccupied with. Rather, I concentrated on the big picture—how my body felt and how that translated to my reflection in the mirror. And by saying ‘yes’ to a friend’s spontaneous invitation to the movies, I met five new incredible ladies. When we try fresh things that challenge our norm, we stretch and bend our muscle memory and develop into more flexible individuals, whether inside or outside of the hot room.

What new thing recently challenged your norm?

 

Image courtesy of ponsuwan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Wanting and doing are two different things

The saying, “It’s not about having the time, it’s about making the time,” is not a new idea. As I focus on the concept of balance this year and what it means for my life as far as work, play, fitness, relationship with self and others, as well as the pursuit of my dreams, I’m reminded that if I want to do something, it takes more than desire; it requires deliberate planning. When I don’t set aside time to tackle the task at hand, something else is bound to be more appealing or easier or convenient. Just like I make a regular commitment to practice the yoga, which can fill up 2½ hours of my day including the commute, I must pencil in time for the other priorities in my life—whether it’s journaling, deepening my connections with family and friends or decluttering and decrapifying my home and my life (see https://miscellany14.wordpress.com/2015/02/17/the-40-bags-in-40-days-challenge/). If it’s important enough, I will make the time.

What will you make time for today?

[Image credit Stuart Miles and FreeDigitalPhotos.net]

A palms-up approach

[Image credit: tungphoto]

It’s true what they say. Time seems to speed up as we get older. We’re already well into the holiday season and next week is December. Pretty soon the New Year will be in full swing and 2014 a distant memory. As I prepare for another Thanksgiving, I find myself pondering those things in my life—people, events, successes—for which I’m grateful, but also looking ahead to 2015. Once again, while in yoga the other day, the instructor advised we live with our palms open, releasing our expectations to avoid disappointment and to better live in the present. Yet my goals are still a work in progress. Without some kind of expectation in place, it would be harder to measure how far we’ve traveled in 365 days and where we need to make [micro]adjustments. This doesn’t mean we can’t keep our palms open—in generosity and thanksgiving—as we await the surprises the New Year has in store for us.

Are you a planner or a seat-of-the-pantser?

Checks and balances

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

 

Today is the final day of my Two weeks to a new, improved you challenge and time to Be alive with step 5. I’ve revisited my LIST and re-evaluated my satisfaction in the various areas of my life and, although at a snail’s pace, I’ve made progress. A common lesson taught by yoga instructors during Bikram practice, especially during Savasana, a pose of total relaxation, is to acknowledge any unnecessary movement—to be aware and then to let it go. We can address the distraction(s) the next time it comes to our attention. This is where I find myself at the culmination of my “change my life in 14-days” assignment: I’ve recognized those areas in my life that deplete my energy reserves and, in some instances, I’ve let go of one (or more) distraction in order to address another. Eventually I’ll make my way through each item but, instead of a challenge, it’ll be a mental-health check and balance over time.

How did your two-week transformation turn out?

From the inside out

[Image credit: Christian Meyn]

 

The other day in yoga, the instructor asked us to begin practice with an intention for the class. It could be anything; e.g., making a [micro]adjustment to a posture or avoiding extraneous movement. After class, the instructor congratulated me on a strong practice. I thanked her, yet I responded with judgment. But then I remembered my intention and how I was able to maintain it throughout the class—to manage my wayward thoughts (my “monkey mind”) by focusing on my breath. Although I almost blew off this accomplishment because it was just on the inside, my instructor reminded me it was huge, because this is where change begins—within ourselves. She oftentimes ends class with Gandhi’s quote about how our thoughts become our words… habits become our values and values become our destiny (see “Do you play the comparison game”). Whether anyone sees my two-week transformation or not, my destiny is no one else’s but mine.

What is one thing you’d like to change from the inside out?

Cumulative [micro]adjustments are a good thing

[Image credit: Ambro}

 

So far I’ve learned a few things on my quest to change my life in 14 days: 1) my list of things that drain my energy is too long, 2) my expectations are too high and 3) I can only work on one area of my life at a time. So before I take one more step (forward or backward), I need to re-evaluate where I want to go, how I want to get there, make adjustments and get back on track. This all came to me during a couple of yoga practices this past week: It took me over four decades to get where I am, so it makes sense cumulative micro-adjustments are necessary for healing and change to take place whether it’s inside—or outside—of the hot room. Sometimes that does look like taking a step backward; however, going forward from this place of “starting over” seems to foster a greater sense of self-realization. And slow, lasting change.

How do you feel when starting over?

Running on empty? Do more!

[Image credit: Salvatore Vuono]

I’ve been running on an empty tank for the past few months. Even with regular Bikram yoga practice, I’m weary and uninspired more often than not. I think, in part, it’s because I’m not exactly where I believe I should be. Yet I have a sneaking suspicion that, at the same time, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. However, that just means I’m uncomfortable enough to take stock of my life and acknowledge that what I’m looking at is only a small piece of the big picture. My remedy? I’ve started doing more (of the good stuff): traveling to the Midwest to visit family and friends, scheduling time to attend a local tourist attraction and my first volunteer stint for a non-profit, preparing for an upcoming writers’ convention and my high school reunion, plus planning a getaway in the fall. I figure the more I invest in myself and others, the more likely I’ll fill my tank and become inspired again.

What keeps you energized and inspired?

Mama said there’ll be days like this

[Image credit: Ohmega1982]

Random tidbits: at some point my posts began totaling 168 words to the dot and, according to my oldest sister, there are 168 hours in one week (there are, I checked). For me, the past 168 hours have embodied a whirlwind of emotions, from the well of bone-weary sadness, to tears of happiness and pit stops in between. I’ve been let down by those closest to me, and sensed the harrowing chasm between others I adore. And in the midst of it all, I completed the “write a book in 30 days” challenge I issued myself last month, while still participating in a yoga challenge. Bikram and prayer work, but sometimes I wish someone would show up to fix everything that’s not right, or at least tell me what to do. But since that’s not going to happen any time soon, I have to be good to myself, even if it might look selfish. Because there’s only one me.

How do you handle the inevitable “days like this?”