All the things we carry: how to lighten our load

The Things They Carried, a collection of short stories written by Tim O’Brien (1990), describes the physical and emotional things American soldiers carried while serving on the ground in Vietnam. Years ago, I studied the compilation while enrolled in an undergraduate creative writing course. Today, I think about all the things we carry throughout our lives. The intangibles that are out of sight, yet weigh us down in mind: the heavy burdens of emotional baggage, the ugly scars from our pasts. Yet I wonder if there’s a way to purge—to abandon and/or forget—the things that impede in order to make room for the things we choose to carry instead: an attitude of gratitude, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. And always forgiveness. All the things that help lighten our load along the way. Or perhaps the most important thing is to help carry each other’s afflictions in order to share the load.

What things do you carry that should be left behind?

Image source: http://rickhudgens.blogspot.com.

 

If you knew you’d succeed, what would you do differently?

 

In my recent post, “Let go…,” I listed 10 things to release to be happy. What other baggage could we add to this list? The first thing that comes to mind is: envy. Oh, if we’d choose to find gratitude in our hearts for who we are right now. That instead of being critical over our perceived flaws or weaknesses, we would delight in our abilities, strengths and uniqueness. During a recent hike into the mountains, as I often do, I poured out a heavy heart within the solitude of the surrounding desert landscape. While I searched my soul, I left all my unmet expectations and disappointment, hurt and frustrations, right there on the trail. And walked away with this revelation: to change my situation (see #4 in aforementioned post) could simply mean that I change me. Not with the intent to please someone else, but with the hope that any self-improvement trickles into those lives around me.

What situation would you change if you knew you’d succeed?

Sifting through the muck to reach the prize

What seems to us as bitter trials
are often blessings in disguise. ~ Oscar Wilde

For the past couple of weeks I’ve wrestled with psychological and emotional baggage that’s over 30 years in the making (and not flattering), which has also triggered a nasty case of monkey mind (also not pretty—see ‘Revisiting…’). Then add in to the mix an extra dose of restlessness that stems from myriad [new] dreams I dared dream and laid the foundation for last year, which I hope to begin living out in 2017. And most of the areas I’m working on will not and cannot realize change overnight. After all, it’s impossible to rush something you hope to last forever… or at least as long as you’re breathing. Any type of growth takes time. Healing—physical, emotional, spiritual or mental—takes time, too. I just need to remind myself of this while I wade through each trial to discover my own personal blessing.

Do you count them as today’s trials or blessings?

Image courtesy of fantasista at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Traveling light

[Graphic image: anekoho]

If running away would somehow “make it all better,” I’d be the first one packing my knapsack.  But I imagine once the novelty wore off, reality would set in and I’d still have to deal with whatever caused me to run in the first place.  Or maybe it’s not what we want to escape, but what we desire to race toward headlong.  Either way, one door needs to be closed before another can freely open to let us through unfettered.  If you have a score to settle or an obligation to fulfill, make good on your word first.  Once you’re released from the baggage that weighs you down, the thought of running away will most likely be just that — a distant suggestion no longer necessary to entertain.  Running away won’t change our circumstances.  But if we satisfy our commitments in the present, we can confidently move into our futures with the freedom of only a carry-on or two.

Do you travel light, or pack every burden that weighs you down?

Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen

[Image credit: digitalart]

The true way to soften one’s troubles is to solace those of others.  
~ Francoise D’Aubigne

Some say “misery loves company,” and maybe in a tiny way it’s true.  It’s nice to know we’re not alone, that others share our trials and disappointments.  But what if we could take our troubles and blur their sharp edges under our critical eye, obscuring them beyond our peripheral vision?  I believe that happens when we remove the focus from ourselves and zoom in on comforting our “company” — those around us who suffer with their own hardships and heartaches.  One of my friends shared a little story with me about how if everyone put their own baggage — the stuff that knocks the wind out of us and leaves a permanent crimp in our backs — in the middle of a pile, and then were presented the opportunity to pick up another’s burdens, we would inevitably choose our own each time.  As much as they drag us down, they’re ours and they fit.  But taking time to help someone carry their own load, however, might just make ours feel a whole lot lighter.

Is there someone around you who needs a little extra comfort today?

Looking beyond the ickies

[Image credit: digitalart]

The last three romantic comedies I’ve watched have focused heavily on how true love looks beyond the imperfections and accepts the other at face value, “ickies” and all.  This can be difficult to apply outside of the movies, however, once the rose-colored glasses come off and we’re exposed in all our glory (or otherwise) to the ones we care about (and vice versa).  Although, I happen to be acquainted with a couple who are an inspiring example of the Hollywood love story.  Individually, each entered into the relationship carrying a boat load of baggage.  But they are admittedly self-prescribed saps for the other, choosing to focus on the good in each.  They truly believe their lives are better  simply because they’re together.  And if you ask them their secret, they may just mention never being without their sap-colored glasses.  We should all be so lucky.

In love — and life — how are you at looking beyond the imperfections of others?

Spring-cleaning checklist

[Image credit: Suat Eman]

The trick is to enjoy life. Don’t wish away your days,
waiting for better ones ahead. ~ Marjorie Pay Hinckley

A couple of days ago I wrote about the rut I’m in and the possibility that it’s related to a case of spring fever.  But I also suggested a good seasonal cleaning might be beneficial.  I’m not talking about donning the rubber gloves and scrubbing the windows and screens, or purging closets and cupboards (although definitely not out of the question).  What I’m referring to is getting rid of the stuff — baggage with labels such as disappointments, failures, poor choices, regrets, (fill in the blank here) — we’ve accumulated since the beginning of the new year (or well before that) which hinders our daily living.  The past is the past.  Let’s purpose to leave it there right this very moment and focus on Today.  We can still wait for a better Tomorrow, but let’s work at arriving there with a much cleaner slate.  I think that may be the trick Ms. Hinckley is talking about.

Are you in need of a little spring cleaning to remove the baggage weighing you down?