Walking into the new year like: putting on a new identity

On New Year’s Eve day, I awakened early, my spirit bubbling with anticipation. This is it, ready or not, the new year—the new decade (depending on which “camp” you reside)—begins in T minus 20 hours. And I decided right then—the scent of rich hazelnut coffee permeating my kitchen—I need a new identity to accompany the new year. I’m not talking about the witness protection change of identity but, rather, an identity that I can speak life into. One that I can fix my gaze on and watch unfurl. Not unlike a “word” you might choose (see “20/20 vision…”), it’s who you envision yourself to be. As for me: I’m a Godly woman, a loving and patient wife and mother, joyful worker, kind friend and gentle neighbor. I’m creative, organized and successful. Even when I fall short. Because the truth is: we’re a work in progress, ever evolving. Until we become who we were truly created to be.

What identity do you believe about yourself?

And just like that: it’s a new year

Two days before Christmas, and all through the house (and workplace): I threw down a full-fledged menopausal meltdown. It was as if I’d been issued the challenge to: Go big, or go home. Eventually, I proceeded with both and dubbed myself the Grinch. But once I realized it was hormone related, I approached my muddled emotions with a clearer sense of direction. And that’s when I knew: my 20/20 vision and plans for “growth” aren’t about knocking out a bestseller (although at the top of my list) or greater financial stability (still up there), it’s about growing into the purpose for which I was created, and growing in the areas I mention in “…bidding farewell…”—my convictions, fortitude and peace. It’s about knowing who I am and growing in that knowledge, discovering and honing the tools I need to succeed. It’s about putting this season of all things menopause to work for me vs. against me. 2020, here I come!

How do you plan to grow this year?

If life was a game we could return to start

You know how hindsight is 20-20? The kind of situation “if you knew then what you know now…?” For instance, if I had altered a few of my investments, I could’ve retired 4½ years sooner. Or, if I hadn’t spent the last 4½ months making unmindful nutrition choices, I’d be in a better place physically, mentally and emotionally—and my impending blood panel wouldn’t concern me. It seems I’m spending more time in that space where I wish I could go back to redeem a “pass go & collect $200” card. But, as I mention in “A brand new ending,” we cannot demand a do over. Consequently, the impetus that draws my mind (multiple times a day!) from the “if-then” mentality so I can win at life is this: I will never be that same person and I cannot recapture the past. Instead, I must view myself in light of the present in order to fashion a better future.

How do you win at the game of life?

Image courtesy of Keerati at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

If only, then …

[Image credit: David Castillo Dominici]

While writing a letter to a friend, I mentioned my fall and subsequent ankle sprain.  If only I would have kept my normal routine and gone to the gym in the morning, I wrote, then I wouldn’t have run after work and fallen off the curb.  Sometimes those if only, thens haunt me.  If only I’d get more sleep or make healthier food selections, then I’d be less fatigued.  If only I spent more time writing, then I’d be happier/fulfilled/more successful.  If only I lived closer to my loved ones, then the goodbyes would be easier because the time between visits would be shorter.  Although if only, thens are statements following a choice and its consequences, I wonder if the outcome might change if posed before, rather than after a decision.  For example, if only I possessed enough courage, then I would fill in the blank.  And once I identified with this 20-20 vision, maybe the if only, thens would become a means to an end rather than the hindsight which often follows.  In other words, there are no do overs, so getting it right the first time can save a lot of (heart)aches and pains in the long run.

Are you an if only, then kind of person, or do you live your life without looking back?