Rediscovering our personal truths

This week while I wrapped up a work project, I rediscovered six personal truths that make me tick: 1) I do what I love. If I ever again must be reminded of the answer to the question, ‘Am I in the right field, career-wise?’ I need only recall the Adrenalin rush I experience each time I write. Now I want more. 2) I practice self-love. Self-love and cutting ourselves slack don’t necessarily mean the same thing. A glass of wine to relax, yes; chased by frosted Saltine crackers to de-stress, no. 3) The perfect time to start something never arrives. I am ready to take the next step toward living Today. 4) No (wo)man is an island. I desire to fellowship with others, to encourage and share accountability. And my editor usually knows best. 5) Better late than never. All good things take time. But deadlines are still important. 6) I am good enough. Yet there will always be room for improvement.

What personal truths have you rediscovered?

Image courtesy of winnond at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Stretching, bending our muscle memory

Part of living my life ‘Today’ includes doing things that displace me from my comfort zone. For example, on a recent routine pizza/movie night, I opted, instead, for dinner at a new venue, followed by musical entertainment—which resulted in unexpected, albeit pleasant surprises. One morning I attended a ‘silent’ yoga class, allowing me to focus on my breath and my thoughts without distraction; another day I practiced in the second row where my image is blurrier and it’s harder to pinpoint those areas I might otherwise judge or become preoccupied with. Rather, I concentrated on the big picture—how my body felt and how that translated to my reflection in the mirror. And by saying ‘yes’ to a friend’s spontaneous invitation to the movies, I met five new incredible ladies. When we try fresh things that challenge our norm, we stretch and bend our muscle memory and develop into more flexible individuals, whether inside or outside of the hot room.

What new thing recently challenged your norm?

 

Image courtesy of ponsuwan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Celebrate your story

 

In “Do you play the comparison game,” I talk about how easy it is to compare our stories and experiences with those of others, and how we might enter into situations or relationships with preconceived and/or unrealistic expectations. Not only is this a waste of time, but it devalues what we bring to the table as far as our knowledge base, background, opinions and emotions. We also have to understand these qualities have shaped us into the unique individuals we are. Oftentimes when we make comparisons, it results in dissension, hurt feelings, low self-esteem and misunderstandings. I think it’s healthy to recognize our differences, but then we must accept and embrace them. If we approach each encounter—each connection—with fresh eyes, an open mind and a pure heart, we can focus on and appreciate the process, rather than worry about the outcome. And, at the same time, rejoice in the journeys of others while celebrating our own.

What will it take for you to celebrate ‘what is?’

If you ignore the warning signs

Last month, I was over it—sick and tired because I had overcommitted and overextended myself. But I learned when you ignore your body’s warning signs, it will raise the flag of surrender when enough is enough. After 26 days of putting up a good fight (my doctor’s words), I needed help (also her words). On the bright side, while I spent two full days in bed, I read two books from cover to cover, logging in over 650 pages [read Five Days Left by Julie Lawson Timmer if you get a chance]. On the less than bright side, let’s say it wouldn’t be unreasonable for me to hire a cleaner to overhaul my home. And, although I have a few obligations lined up for February, most of the month is open—because this time I’ve learned my lesson thanks to countless missed engagements, reduced time in the hot room and little headway on advancing my goals. Yet.

What does it take for you to learn a lesson?

[Image credit: photostock, FreeDigitalPhotos.net]

Make it happen in 2015

[Image credit: Stuart Miles]

We’ve had a few days now to get our feet wet in the new year. Some of us have jumped into new resolutions, and/or revisited old ones, as we face a pristine slate ripe with possibility. I recently heard a statistic that only 10 percent of people who resolve to make a change in any given new year actually succeed. Personally, I’ve come up with some lofty goals in 2015 to realize a more balanced life and, if last year was one filled with insight and personal development, this year is destined to overflow with manifestation (I can feel it!). So how do we ensure we’re one of the scant few whose resolutions come to fruition? I think it first begins with a theme or focus, like balanced living, healthier eating, fitness, etc., and then a realistic plan of what *needs* to happen to make it happen. But it’s also important to allow for wiggle room when *life* happens. And be forgiving.

What are your resolutions this year?

Exhale the old, inhale the new

 

[Image credit: Danilo Rizzuti]

So far the best saying I’ve stumbled across that pertains to the New Year is: Exhale 2014, inhale 2015. I love the visual this invokes: Shed the old in order to fill up with the new. But I believe that in order to make room for more of the good stuff, it’s important to acknowledge the bad stuff and then let it go. Didn’t get everything crossed off your bucket list? Pare it down this year, make it more attainable. Loved and lost? Give thanks for those who made you feel alive. Ran head first into a few hiccups on your journey? Learn and continue to live. Each moment is an opportunity to love more, forgive more, appreciate more… be more. My personal focus for the New Year is balance—while at the same time doing more (of the above). And remember: Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product (Eleanor Roosevelt). I’m ready.

What is one area you plan to focus on in the coming year?

A palms-up approach

[Image credit: tungphoto]

It’s true what they say. Time seems to speed up as we get older. We’re already well into the holiday season and next week is December. Pretty soon the New Year will be in full swing and 2014 a distant memory. As I prepare for another Thanksgiving, I find myself pondering those things in my life—people, events, successes—for which I’m grateful, but also looking ahead to 2015. Once again, while in yoga the other day, the instructor advised we live with our palms open, releasing our expectations to avoid disappointment and to better live in the present. Yet my goals are still a work in progress. Without some kind of expectation in place, it would be harder to measure how far we’ve traveled in 365 days and where we need to make [micro]adjustments. This doesn’t mean we can’t keep our palms open—in generosity and thanksgiving—as we await the surprises the New Year has in store for us.

Are you a planner or a seat-of-the-pantser?

From the inside out

[Image credit: Christian Meyn]

 

The other day in yoga, the instructor asked us to begin practice with an intention for the class. It could be anything; e.g., making a [micro]adjustment to a posture or avoiding extraneous movement. After class, the instructor congratulated me on a strong practice. I thanked her, yet I responded with judgment. But then I remembered my intention and how I was able to maintain it throughout the class—to manage my wayward thoughts (my “monkey mind”) by focusing on my breath. Although I almost blew off this accomplishment because it was just on the inside, my instructor reminded me it was huge, because this is where change begins—within ourselves. She oftentimes ends class with Gandhi’s quote about how our thoughts become our words… habits become our values and values become our destiny (see “Do you play the comparison game”). Whether anyone sees my two-week transformation or not, my destiny is no one else’s but mine.

What is one thing you’d like to change from the inside out?

The excuses stop here

 [Image credit: Stuart Miles]

No sooner had I figured out it takes time to see change (just like it took time to get where I am right this minute), then I experienced self-realization once again: If you’re happy doing what you’re doing, it doesn’t feel like work, or effort. It is a passion that stokes the fire, wakes you up and ignites an excitement within. Once we pinpoint the “what,” then we must fashion our goals around it—to be single-minded on the prize. For me, that “obsession” is writing, but I also look for excuses not to write (so I’ve been told). Although I want to deny it, I can’t ignore the reality: I’m not writing… I talk about writing, I plan my writing, I dream about writing. It’s not that I can’t do it (I wrote a book in 30 days earlier this year—see Quit talking, start doing). It’s that I make everything else more important than my writing. But that stops today.

What’s your biggest excuse in life?

Cumulative [micro]adjustments are a good thing

[Image credit: Ambro}

 

So far I’ve learned a few things on my quest to change my life in 14 days: 1) my list of things that drain my energy is too long, 2) my expectations are too high and 3) I can only work on one area of my life at a time. So before I take one more step (forward or backward), I need to re-evaluate where I want to go, how I want to get there, make adjustments and get back on track. This all came to me during a couple of yoga practices this past week: It took me over four decades to get where I am, so it makes sense cumulative micro-adjustments are necessary for healing and change to take place whether it’s inside—or outside—of the hot room. Sometimes that does look like taking a step backward; however, going forward from this place of “starting over” seems to foster a greater sense of self-realization. And slow, lasting change.

How do you feel when starting over?