Regain the wonder: creating new traditions

‘Tis the season once again. And this year, no doubt, many of our traditions will look different. As we navigate the pressures inherent with the holidays—amidst the added stressors of an ongoing pandemic—I’ve found it helpful for my own mental health to adopt a spirit of wonder and possibility that exists beyond the norm, or the “way it’s always been done.” For example, rather than rush through a harried month of December, my family created a new tradition: the Advent “tree.” This entails a small, makeshift tree onto which we clipped little notecards—dated from Day 1 to Day 24. Each morning, we read a chapter from the Gospel of Luke, and afterward we open the corresponding day’s card to view that day’s activity. Some activities include completing Christmas word puzzles, setting up our nativity scene, “attending” an online concert and baking loaves of bread to share with family and friends. A simple and sweet way to slow down, connect and reflect.

What’s your favorite tradition?

No. 1 remedy to burnout

Image source: healthline.com.

I couldn’t put my finger on it. Barring all-things 2020, my mood contradicted a grateful heart. Head spinning, I opened my devotional book and, although not “dated” for that particular Sunday, the passage focused on the Sabbath as a day of rest. I don’t know about you, but I tend to view Sunday as a “catch-up” day, in which I attempt to wrap up the previous six days’ worth of tasks. Then, by the time Monday morning rolls around, I’m already itching for the weekend. Yet, as I read that rest serves as a simple remedy to burnout and its symptoms, I saw myself reflected between the pages. In that moment, I shifted to a “Sunday slowdown” mindset and removed the heaping helpings that crowded my “plate”—all a product of my own doing—and proceeded to spend the day regrouping. This time when Monday rolled around, it didn’t arrive as a surprise or a burden, but rather a clean slate.

What does rest look like for you?

The end: starting over in 2021

During this past year, I’ve brainstormed a lot: potential stories to explore with my writing, how I envision my future self, my goals in five, 10+ years, etc. Which has prompted me to take a deep dive at how I’ll use my time going forward into the new year. And when so much in our daily lives is out of our control, I can rest in the knowledge I’m free to choose how I’ll spend that time. One thing I’m excited about includes beginning 2021—and each consecutive day—traveling through the “Bucket List Journey by Annette.” On her website, Annette introduces readers to 365 days of soul-searching tools and inspirational activities to start living out our own bucket lists. While each of us possess a litany of commitments, we also get to choose possibilities. So, as humanity awaits the traditional ball drop at midnight on Dec. 31—preparing for a better year ahead—I invite you to do the same.

How will you start over in 2021?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Crisis of identity: discovering your ‘story’

I’m smack dab in the middle of an identity crisis. Oh, I know who I am: a middle-aged Christian woman and married mother of an adult child. I work as an editorial and advertising coordinator for a commercial magazine publisher (see About Me). My Facebook profile describes me as a lover of words, kitties, laughter, yoga and animal print. And sparkles. I’m also a published author (see Links) of nonfiction and fiction. However, I’ve been questioning my “identity” over the past few weeks in relation to my “story.” I’ve never understood what that means. Until now. For me, my story translates into what I’m called to write. In “Trusting the process…,” I talk about completing the first draft of a sweet romance. But herein lies the crux of my “crisis.” While preparing to write the second draft, I realized I possess a different story to tell. I shared this revelation with my husband, who said, “Why can’t you write both?” Indeed.

What’s your story—or crisis of identity?

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You’re not going that way anyway

Is there a go-to place you seek for inspiration or insight? The mountains fill that role for me. Before each hike, I ask: What do I need to know? followed by prayer for an open mind and heart to receive. Sometimes, I experience “ah-ha” moments; other times a surprise spotting of deer prompts me to look up and view the world in front of me. One fresh insight aligns with the latest writing adventure on which I embarked (see “My future self…”). Concerned that a few other trekkers chose a similar route as me during a recent outing, I feared disruption of much-needed solitude. Yet these hikers opted for a different trail, leaving me with unfounded worry—a reminder not to waste energy agonizing over choices that others make. This coincides with years of envying fellow writers, while seeking their “maps” to success. And realizing that each of us get to forge a path unique to our own journey.

How do you know you’re on the right path?

How to refuel, recharge + refresh your ‘joy tank’

Photo source: conniemcleod.files.wordpress.com/

An important lesson I’ve learned since hiring a writing coach and living my best life—while embarking on a journey toward my future self—is that I must affix my own oxygen mask before attempting to care for those around me. In fact, the more I fill my “joy tank”—aka bucket—the happier and healthier I feel. And, with increased energy and enthusiasm to do what I love, including serving others. Because when we consistently function on half empty at best, we risk becoming run down, and/or possibly resentful. If you’re interested in ways to refuel, recharge and refresh your joy tank, check out these ideas to start:

1. Indulge in a yummy treat
2. Schedule a DIY “spa” date
3. Spend time in nature
4. Take an online class
5. Play a game or assemble a puzzle
6. Create something artsy
7. Embark on a new adventure; e.g., road trip or scavenger hunt
8. Binge watch your favorite show

How does your joy tank get filled?

The time is now: maybe that simply means trying something new

Have you been repeating the same thing, over and over, yet never experience different results? Like trying to lose weight or breaking a habit or attempting to follow your dreams? I’ve often wished I could order a “one-size-fits-all” book spelling everything out in black and white: “How to XYZ in 6 Easy Steps.” I can imagine a book like that would remain on indefinite backorder. Or maybe it’s a faulty mindset you engage in battle with, continually entertaining thoughts like: “I’m always late, so why try getting there on time?” Or, “I never finish anything I start, so why should I join that book discussion or take that class or [fill-in-the-blank]?” Oftentimes, we even blame others for why we’re “stuck” and life continues to look the same. If you relate, then I’ve got big news. Revolutionary, in fact. It’s your fault. Because it’s all about choice. If you’re ready to try something new, read The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.

In what area are you stuck in life?

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Validation 101: how to bring out the best in yourself and others

Wherever you are,
at any moment,
try and find something beautiful.
~ Matt Haig

Last month, I viewed a 17-minute YouTube video about “validation.” If you can’t afford the time, I recommend watching at least the first four minutes of the professionally rendered film. Because though our conscious minds comprehend that the positive words we speak volumes—and that negative-speak belittles and strips away our humanity person by person—the opportunity to observe these truths play out in black and white serves as both eye-opening and inspiring. In fact, for the entirety of August, thus far, I’ve made it my mission to “flood” social media each morning with optimism and encouragement. The process has also served to boost my own serotonin levels (our bodies’ feel-good chemicals)—a well-known byproduct of positive thinking. Even within the midst of global and political strife, it takes very little to make a big impact in the lives of others. Take a moment. Look around. Find something beautiful.

Who can you validate today?

Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

I’ll do anything but ‘that’: the avoidance trap

Is it just me, or does anyone else struggle with this problem: You need to do something, but you find every excuse to do anything but “that”? Case in point: Right now, I should be fleshing out a story concept based on an idea I’ve toyed with for months. But, instead, I’m writing a blog post scheduled a week away. Is it because avoidance oftentimes rears its ugly head when the going gets a little sticky? Years ago, a colleague-turned friend advised me to prioritize by first tackling items that can be dealt with quickly. Maybe that’s one reason I circle around the thing that proves most challenging or intimidating. Like Finding Nemo’s Dora, who tries in vain to focus on the difficult task in front of her, I allow anything shiny to become a distraction of epic proportions. For example: I will not take another workshop until I finalize my story concept… oh look, that weeklong workshop is free!  

What thing do you avoid at all costs?

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Pace yourself: how to ‘win the race’

For several weeks now, I’ve posted a blog every Tuesday. Although I can prepare posts in advance to be deployed on any given day, last week I forgot. One year, I actually challenged myself to post a blog per day—equaling 365 posts at 168 words each for a total of 61,824 words. The size of an average-length novel. Kind of sobering and the segue into today’s post about pacing ourselves, which applies to most areas in our lives. It proved especially true the morning I embarked on a hike in the middle of a Phoenix, Arizona summer: If I wanted to “win the race,” this meant a slow and steady pace (plus frequent hydration breaks). That’s when I also realized my sporadic writing sprints—followed by limited to no activity—did nothing to advance my literary goals. However, if instead, I maintain a minimum 168-word-a-day pace, one day (like today), I’ll look back and view all the ground I’ve covered.

Where do you need to pace yourself?

Photo credit: B.A.S.