Mama don’t preach

 

In my post, Don’t wait until you die, I write about giving ourselves permission to love ourselves wherever we’re at. To live now, because it’s too late if we wait. Yet nowhere do I mention my faith—the overriding factor in my life and day-to-day decisions. My desire, however, is that to those who know me, my life reads as a testimony to the One who is greater than I am. That instead of self-reliance, it’s evident my reliance is on a higher power. This is why I don’t pepper each blog with spiritual fodder; rather, I share and dissect insights I stumble upon, whether divine or otherwise. Always The Write Time was never intended to serve as a platform to preach about religious or political beliefs, but a creative outlet in which I hope my words inspire and encourage others as I live and learn. Nonetheless, if you ask, I’ll tell you the reason for the hope that is within me.

What is your life’s overriding factor?

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Don’t wait until you die

 

“To anyone who thinks they’re falling behind in life” is written to me. I am the one who thinks I need more motivation, to read more lists and posts about how I’m not doing enough. Because I’m not doing enough, right? I’m still writing blogs about how I need to simplify, find balance, be kind, follow my dreams: to do. To be. To perpetuate an endless cycle of more than. The pièce de résistance? …we all need more than anything… permission to be wherever the f*ck we are when we’re there. Oh, this soothes my soul. Who doesn’t crave permission to love themselves exactly where they are? A yogi instructor recently ended her evening class with Alan Cohen’s words: To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now. I exited the room, tears streaming down my face. I want to live now.

Which one are you?

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Pantser, planner or a little of both?

 

If you’re a writer, the term ‘pantser’ is as familiar to you as the beloved setting where you daydream about all the writing you wish you were doing. Basically, it means to ‘fly by the seat of your pants.’ Writers like this generally begin with a basic plan, then let the story write itself. In life and in writing, I tend to follow the ‘planner’ route; i.e., I like to know what, when, where and how something will happen. Although this rarely transpires outside the confines of my laptop or notebook, I find comfort in staying between the lines. I might consider my living and writing style more middle-of-the-road, however, a ‘plantser’ who performs a little of both—more so now that simplicity is my New Year intention. A loose outline, whether for the day or the next blog or that story idea I’ve contemplated and picked apart for months, simply sets the stage for magic to unfold.

Are you a pantser, planner or a little of both?

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Social networking: checking in and out

Social media can be a time waster, yet it has its place. I use various forms to maintain contact with family and friends, as well as promote my writing and sprinkle encouragement. And, social media is how I keep up-to-date as far as world events. But I can’t count the number of times I get sucked into the drama, the recipes and book reviews, music and cat videos, the goofy memes and even the political harangues. Yet I like feeling as if I’m part of something bigger than myself. Plus, I’m thankful for the people I’ve reconnected with, and for instantaneous communications—although not always a good thing when you feel compelled to respond immediately to a text or a private message. I think, like with most things, setting aside allotted time—particularly to check in and catch up on Facebook, email, texting, Twitter, etc.—might be one answer to rein in the day-to-day distractions and simplify life.

Where does social networking fall on your list of distractions?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Sky’s the limit

 

At the hotel I recently reserved in Sedona, the term ‘fitness room’ could be used loosely: two mats, two mirrors, a few medicine balls, balance ball and two pieces of working cardio equipment. Not bad, but also not my usual full-gym selection more than 150 miles away. Instead of pouting, however, I recalled hearing recently, in passing, someone mention the old adage ‘thinking outside the box,’ so I did. I utilized the equipment available to me and enjoyed two of the best workouts I’ve experienced in a few months. And, later in the day, when I stumbled upon a lovely metal ‘tree of life’ wall art for sale on the patio of a local Mexican sundries shop, I knew it belonged not on my patio, but displayed inside my home. Imagine the possibilities if we were to think outside the box even pertaining to our dreams. The breathtaking desert backdrop is the limit, for me. What about you?

In what way(s) do you think outside of the box?

Are you living a ‘more than’ life?

 

It catches me off guard at times: I mention in passing I’m a writer and the listener asks, Oh! What do you write? That’s when a marmalade-striped kitty catches my tongue and a brief pause touches my lips. I’m working on a couple projects, I say. The next query follows: What kind… anything published? At this point I don’t know where to begin—no published novel, but yes, several magazine articles—and I start to act almost apologetic for ‘posing’ as a published author. Because while my peers within the writing community celebrate recent successful book launches, as well as sought-after literary awards, I still work toward the goal of writing more than: more than a to-do list or a grocery list, more than a blog or a commercial trade article. Yet, each time I communicate through words, I stack a building block one atop the other. And I’m happy because I can call myself a writer. Because I write.

What makes your life the ‘more than’ kind?

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Admit it: you can’t do it all

 

Contrary to the reflection you see in the mirror each day, you are not a super hero. At least not the kind who wears a cape and tights underneath your ‘regular’ clothes. Even when our plans are noble and involve lending a hand or going above and beyond, something else often suffers in the long run. It could be precious time with loved ones, an extra 30 minutes of Zzzzzs, a healthier snack alternative or the ultra-fine line between sanity and madness. My unsolicited advice? Whatever you question: Does it make you bitter or better? Do you feel angst because you missed out on BFF time, are you falling asleep at work, does your body lack proper fuel to propel you throughout the day or do you feel stressed rather than blessed? Recently I saw myself in the latter description and made a necessary change that, although not easy, ultimately replaced agitation with calm. And that’s better for everyone.

Is it time for you to make a change?

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Holy crap says it all

 

Holy crap is my new favorite catch phrase: A friend in Minnesota texts me a picture of a snow storm (I live in Arizona): holy crap. We’re already more than 11/12 into the New Year: holy crap. Yes, I’m over a half century young: holy crap! Tick tock tick tock. I ran across a noteworthy older lady while traveling in January. She didn’t know me from Adam, yet shuffled right up into my space and proceeded to spew out my life story in a nutshell. She wrapped up the message in a neat bow when she informed me I’m a beautiful woman, but wound so tight that I’m not living. Holy crap. Okay, everything said lady gushed forth rang volumes of truth. Maybe when a complete stranger sees that which you daily turn a blind eye to, it’s time to bite the bullet and eradicate each cliché and excuse to do the thing your heart implores of you. Holy crap.

What ‘catch phrase’ seems to capture your reality?

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What we speak is what we get

 

Think positive, speak life. What we speak is what we get. These were the words my BFF texted me following my earlier message that morning: Feeling a bit discouraged today. Although I often post positive messages on social media and write blogs about sprinkling kindness liberally, discovering the secret to happiness and assorted don’t-worry-be-happy thoughts, many times it’s easier said than lived out. If worse comes to worse, it’s probably best to keep our mouths shut until we can say something positive and, in the meantime, to read a few inspirational quotes to turn our minds around. Or call or text a best friend to put instant smiles on our faces. That particular morning my BFF’s words served as a reminder that, even when external circumstances might cause us to feel discouragement, it’s our internal self-talk that enables us to change the direction of our thoughts—therefore, our day. Unhappy? Try thinking positive and speaking life. Hint: No belly aching allowed.

What does your self-talk sound like today?

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The secret to a happy life

Happiness is a by-product of an effort
to make someone else happy.
~ Gretta Brooker Palmer

Palmer’s quote is my new go-to lifestyle. If I feel mopey or like I might be spiraling into a rut, I ask myself who I can bless, if not today, then tomorrow or the next day. And, ideally, I’ll follow up the thought by carrying out a random act of kindness (see ‘kindness is free…’). The act of thinking and/or doing most often pulls me out of my self-inflicted pity party even before I have a chance to invite guests. A woman I know—I’ll call her Mary—is in a long-term relationship with a partner who routinely withholds communication—verbal, as well as touch. Quite often, he goes days without speaking, and he rebuffs any physical affection. Instead of wallowing in loneliness, however, Mary seeks others who need a hug, a smile, a gentle word, a helping hand. Because Mary knows Palmer’s secret too.

How do you turn your frown upside-down?

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