Validation 101: how to bring out the best in yourself and others

Wherever you are,
at any moment,
try and find something beautiful.
~ Matt Haig

Last month, I viewed a 17-minute YouTube video about “validation.” If you can’t afford the time, I recommend watching at least the first four minutes of the professionally rendered film. Because though our conscious minds comprehend that the positive words we speak volumes—and that negative-speak belittles and strips away our humanity person by person—the opportunity to observe these truths play out in black and white serves as both eye-opening and inspiring. In fact, for the entirety of August, thus far, I’ve made it my mission to “flood” social media each morning with optimism and encouragement. The process has also served to boost my own serotonin levels (our bodies’ feel-good chemicals)—a well-known byproduct of positive thinking. Even within the midst of global and political strife, it takes very little to make a big impact in the lives of others. Take a moment. Look around. Find something beautiful.

Who can you validate today?

Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

PSA: It’s simple—Don’t drink + drive

One of the easiest decisions a person can make is to not drink and drive. But here’s the catch-22: once you drink, your decision-making skills become impaired. And because one person chose to drink and drive on Aug. 19, 2004, my family’s “normal” changed forever. Consequently, on the anniversary of my husband’s “death” and “re-birthday,” I hop on my soapbox to share the down-and-dirty details about that night. My 12-year-old daughter and I waited for her dad to arrive home from work so we could enjoy a family bike ride together. Instead, at 6:19 p.m.—minutes from our neighborhood—an intoxicated driver slammed his Dodge Ram into my husband’s Honda Civic. Following a medical-helicopter transport to a Trauma 1 hospital, my husband underwent emergency surgery—after which he spent the next 59 days as an inpatient navigating his new normal resulting from a TBI, crushed hip and myriad physical, emotional and mental trauma. And he still struggles with deficits today. Please think twice: If you drink: don’t drive.

I’ll do anything but ‘that’: the avoidance trap

Is it just me, or does anyone else struggle with this problem: You need to do something, but you find every excuse to do anything but “that”? Case in point: Right now, I should be fleshing out a story concept based on an idea I’ve toyed with for months. But, instead, I’m writing a blog post scheduled a week away. Is it because avoidance oftentimes rears its ugly head when the going gets a little sticky? Years ago, a colleague-turned friend advised me to prioritize by first tackling items that can be dealt with quickly. Maybe that’s one reason I circle around the thing that proves most challenging or intimidating. Like Finding Nemo’s Dora, who tries in vain to focus on the difficult task in front of her, I allow anything shiny to become a distraction of epic proportions. For example: I will not take another workshop until I finalize my story concept… oh look, that weeklong workshop is free!  

What thing do you avoid at all costs?

Image courtesy of Surachai at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

The big debate: Yes, I’m talking about masks.

To wear a mask, or not to wear a mask, that is the big debate. So, in an effort to understand both sides, I conducted extensive research and here’s what I learned: every YouTube video, claim, meme, etc., requires fact-checking. Why? Because it’s easy to find “evidence” to back any position. In fact, that’s how I became guilty, early on, of spiritualizing/judging the mask discussion. Personally, I wear a mask because—if the experts are correct—then I may be helping to better protect my immunocompromised husband. If the experts are wrong, then I simply lived with a temporary inconvenience. But I also understand/respect that not everyone can/will wear a mask; yet I’m oftentimes labeled a “sheep” for following the pro-mask side. Incidentally, what do I call the other side? And why must it be “us against them?” Aren’t we all in this thing together? For the record, I am a sheep. One in need of her Shepherd. Daily.

If you’d like to weigh in, please remain kind.

Image courtesy of franky242 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.