Permission to pursue: no. 1 way to improve at anything

Anyone among my circle of friends and family—even those who extend beyond its borders—knows I love all things literary. I devour books like they’re a lifeline. And I’ve always, ever since I can recall, longed to write. As a child, pencil and journal in hand, I crafted scripts for my dolls; one year, a piece of “flash” fiction—My Life as a Kitchen Table—adorned the wall of an elementary school art fair. Throughout the subsequent years, my desire for the “write life” buckled under the weight of life. Fast-forward decades: a degree in literature, writing and film; a collection of guest blog posts; articles penned and published in lifestyle and trade publications. But my heart. My heart bleeds for fiction. Make-believe. The HEA. Herein lies the biggest lesson thus far: To improve at anything requires 100% devotion. Sometimes the results resemble crap. But other times the stars align into something magical. And your soul ignites on fire.

What is it you need permission to pursue?

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Running out of time: an essay

It’s my biggest fear, next to death. To run out of time. Because: To write all the stories. To love all the people. To make a difference. To win the prize. Because, dear heart: We all run out of time, ready or not. A vicious tug of war. Hope vs. despair. Yet the roller coaster of life—exciting and scary and often creaking and jarring—eventually grinds to a halt on its tracks. The Great Conductor, His voice booms: End of the ride! The shiny metal buckle, smooth and cold to the touch, releases its vice-like grip from across my hips with a flick of the wrist. My legs wobble as I push against the mechanical arm and stand. How I yearn for another lap around the track. But it’s here I discover: I didn’t run out of time. I ran into eternity. Accompanied by a lifetime of memories, of stories and books, adventures and dreams, that flourished. Well done, child, a still small voice whispers. Well done.

Image courtesy of PANPOTE at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Are you an energy drain? Check your attitude at the door.

Gratitude and grumbles cannot co-exist. Two words: self-fulfilling prophecy. And it works for both the big and the small stuff. Think about it: When we adopt an attitude of gratitude, we automatically align ourselves to receive a positive outcome. I’m sure you’ve heard this advice: You attract more flies with honey. Same concept. Conversely, grumbling and focusing on everything wrong obscures many of the joys of life and invites cynicism and negativity into our heart space. Plus, it can prove an energy drain on those around us. As with any new habit, or lifestyle change, we must allow ourselves time and patience—beginning with baby steps. For example, start by expecting light traffic… an ideal parking space… a short wait in line… a waived service fee… and give thanks upon receipt. With consistent use, our gratitude “muscles” will grow stronger and it’ll become easier to expect the big(ger) stuff: the job promotion… a healed injury… the published short story… Consistency is key.

What are you grateful for today?

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Doing away with limiting beliefs: Faking it, or making it?

Motivational speaker and author Will Bowen says, “People advise, ‘Fake it ’til you make it.’ In truth, you’re not faking. As soon as you act like the person you aspire to be, you are that person. Over time, this repeated behavior becomes the default version of you. This is how we change—every time.” If you’re sick of a negative life or situation: speak a positive word [aloud] to yourself: while driving, as you walk into work each day, when your alarm goes off in the morning. Begin with something simple: I am strong, I am healthy, I am happy. Then get specific: I am successful at X, Y and/or Z… I am a loving partner and/or friend, etc… And when you begin to doubt: do away with limiting beliefs. For example, if you’re ill, tell yourself: I am getting stronger every day. Or: Something good is going to happen to me today! Changing our focus, changes our outcome. Every time.

What is one of your limiting beliefs?

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Time to grow: doing the right things, at the right time

While in the process of doing “all the things,” I discovered: I can’t do all the things. After a year of searching for the perfect time management and goal planning strategies, I’ve taken a step back. In fact, I’m starting over. Why? Because I wasn’t making headway. The overabundance of resources at my disposal paralyzed me—until I discovered a practice that meshes with the way I’m wired and can be tweaked as needed (aka because life). In January, it began with a big picture mental image birthed from a vision board workshop, which advised a series of goal mapping. From there, I developed quarterly and monthly goals, followed by measurable action steps and a weekly task list (in progress). And with my big picture vision at the forefront, I plan to regularly assess what’s working and what’s not working to plot consecutive quarters and so on. Now I can do all the things. The right things. At the right time.

How do you manage all the things?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Mind, body connection: 7 easy steps to maintaining balance

Usually when I awaken, my mind is fuzzy. A cottony tangle of sleepy remnants harvested over the previous seven hours. Yesterday morning, however, the synapses knitted together a single thought: balancing the mind-body connection. I could ask myself why I attempted to make sense of a topic that begs deeper scrutiny at any time other than 4:15 in the morning. But if I were to venture a guess, I’d say it’s because my sub-conscious was trying to get my attention to validate: I’m out of balance! This led me to check in with Google, which turned up these seven steps as a useful check-and-balance system for re-establishing and maintaining a mind-body connection: 1) take time each day to quiet the mind and pray/meditate; 2) eat a healthy diet; 3) exercise every day; 4) prioritize restful sleep; 5) release emotional toxins (i.e., let go of past hurts, disappointments and anger); 6) nurture loving relationships and 7) enjoy wholehearted laughter at least once daily.

How do you maintain mind-body connection?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Making the decision to change: If not now, when?

On the heels of my post, “Habit vs. lifestyle…,” I read an article that begins with this sentence: One of the hardest things in life is feeling stuck in a situation that we don’t like and want to change. In the next breath, I opened an email promoting an article about mediocrity, stating that everything we have in our lives is what we want; i.e., if we wanted something different, we’d have something different. The author maintains that until we really want to change, we won’t. Our lives and our environments are a reflection of our desires. When our desires change, we adapt our environment to match our new desires. So what am I saying? In order to change, we must eliminate everything that contradicts our highest values. And then make a decision, followed by a commitment—always surrounding ourselves with the kind of friends who lift us higher. Finally, we must remember: a negative mind will not create a positive life.

What do you want to change?

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