Mixed messages play havoc with logic. Just when you think you understand a simple concept, doubt creeps in and you begin to question your sanity, your ability to reason—everything you thought to be true. In the publishing world, there is frequent interaction between publisher and advertisers, authors, sales reps, subscribers and so on. As concise as one can be through email, there is often room for interpretation on both sides, which may lead to miscommunication, lost time and, not uncommon, bruised feelings. With the majority of business and social communique handled via digital means, it might require an old-fashioned phone call to right a wrong or lend clarity to a situation in order to move forward. It isn’t necessarily about the mistake or misunderstanding, because we are human and they happen. It’s how we react in the moment, mindful that relationships—business or otherwise—are always hanging in the balance. And that pride goes before a fall every time.
How do you make sense of mixed messages?
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Jun 16, 2017 @ 12:40:01
Reminds me of the situation with the mom who was my co-leader in 4-H and how she said some very unkind things before leaving the club and starting her own.
One of the guys I write to through the prison ministry program said that sometimes others who do things like that already have a set agenda – they know what they want to do and are just trying to find a way to do it in a “convenient” way.
They will create a situation or drama, and use that as the excuse for what they want to do (e.g., leave a situation, relationship, create another club – whatever). They try to egg you on and bring out your worst to create that perfect excuse to leave – just as they wanted to do all along, but didn’t have the courage or dignity to do it in a more respectful way.
How do I make sense of mixed messages – both during that encounter and afterwards?
Hopefully by being given a chance to talk through the situation (a good way so you can hear the person’s voice and what they are truly saying); and, other times, the other party involved is not ready (or may never be ready) to give you that opportunity. The person is unwilling to be graceful and open to reason.
So, life moves on. There’s a loss to process and – perhaps – grieve over. And then new doors – new opportunities – open. New friendships, business relationships, business deals, or even more time to do the things that are truly important to you.
(Well, that ended up being a long-winded answer to the question you posed at the end of your post.)
Jun 16, 2017 @ 14:30:15
Your response, Ann, is so well-crafted that nothing I say will add to its eloquence. As far as life moving forward—it does, doesn’t it? Whether we agree to disagree, or if we never unravel the messiness, it boils down to a learning experience… a portion of our story. And if we’re open to the blank space on the next page and the endless opportunities it represents.