When you make a mistake: Adulting 101

Leave a comment

Adulting it

This past week crushed my spirit. Happy doesn’t come close to my relief at bidding it adieu and ushering in better days: Saturday and Sunday. It seems I couldn’t do anything right—opened mouth, inserted foot; committed a faux pas (or three) at work and pulled out the comparison card once or twice and came up lacking each time. Good advice from my boss: We all are going to make mistakes, and stuff is going to happen. It’s how we respond and move forward that counts. Whether our individual path is fraught with detours or includes a few scenic routes thrown in, there are no guarantees as to what our journey will look like—which is no doubt a good thing. And life is not a competition, nor a race to the finish line. After all, everyone will reach it at one time or another. However, I do think ‘adulting’ deserves more credit than it gets, like an award. Especially on Mondays.

What’s your advice for adulting it?

Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Making a challenge work for you (or working through the blahs)

Leave a comment

Challenges_blahs

 

It’s no surprise that I love a good challenge. I even attempt to make them harder—like the 30/30 yoga challenge I completed three-and-a-half-years ago. It didn’t just entail completing 30 classes in 30 days. I also omitted specific foods and beverages from my diet. Recently I signed up for another 30/30 and, to date, I’ve completed day six of the same regimen. But I’ve run into a few struggles with the blahs—understandably. After all, it wouldn’t be called a challenge if it didn’t test our mettle. That’s why it’s important to practice mindfulness in other areas; i.e., steal naps when your body needs to recharge, refuse to stress out about household chores, do something for your health (take a yoga or kickboxing class, book a massage or acupuncture treatment). My goal during this challenge is to strengthen my mind, body and spirit to equip me for several upcoming travel and writing commitments—with my blahs but a distant memory.

What’s the latest challenge you’ve successfully conquered?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Take it or leave it: my advice, that is

1 Comment

Take it or leave it

An acquaintance recently shared how they had doled out relationship advice to a friend of theirs. I’m not proud to say I reacted with an eye roll and audible scoff, which I followed with an incredulous, You? This person became defensive in response as they crossed their arms and stared me down: They appreciated my input, thank you very much. Immediately I mentally smacked myself and acknowledged I’m probably the last person to pass out suggestions on any topic because I’m the last person to heed my own advice. It’s easier said than done, comes to mind, as well as, Do as I say, not as I do. Why is it that we oftentimes think we’re experts on another person’s situation but, when it comes to our own, we feel powerless to change things? I always come back to fear—of failure, regrets. What if we take our own advice occasionally? Maybe start with something small and go from there.

What advice would you like to test out?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

The #1 way to change your life

Leave a comment

decisions decisions
Following a recent set of immunotherapy injections I receive weekly, I experienced a minor adverse reaction. This involved lightheadedness and elevated blood pressure, which resulted in extra TLC from clinic staff and revised treatment plan. Afterward, I second-guessed my reaction and feared the emergency medical attention bordered on overkill. I’m sure we’ve all done it: second-guessed words spoken (which can’t be retracted), choices made that are irreversible. A post on social media reads: You’re always one decision away from a totally different life. Not that it matters if we choose vanilla over chocolate ice cream, but whether we respond in love rather than hate, fellowship versus isolation. Or we decide to ‘put up or shut up’ and accept the consequences. It’s easy to blame extenuating circumstances because it removes our own culpability, however, I think it’s time to quit dwelling on the what if’s and determine our own destiny. We still might second-guess ourselves, but we could also change our lives.

What life-changing decision will you make today?

Mirror, mirror: who’s the fairest of them all?

Leave a comment

mirror mirror

Back up five-and-a-half years: During my internship with a local beauty pub, I wrote on myriad topics—particularly those that challenge the ‘seasoned’ ladies—sagging skin, spider veins, etc. Oftentimes I joke that, although I can’t stop the aging process, I plan to fight it—kicking and screaming—the entire way. With that pursuit in mind, in addition to adopting a healthier lifestyle over the past several years, I’ve met with various professionals to discuss my ‘age-defying’ options. When I recently learned how the Chinese practice of acupuncture and cupping can help promote facial rejuvenation, as well as total-body benefits, I signed on for the treatments. Granted, I believe beauty is only skin deep and our characters bear witness to the beauty within. Yet I’m excited about becoming the best version of me—on the outside yes, but also my overall health and wellness. After all, this is the only body that’s going to carry for me the next half century.

How important is total health to you?

Image courtesy of podpad at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Put up or shut up: what will it be?

1 Comment

Put up or shut up

Money is no object. Health concerns are minimal. Food, clothing and shelter are accounted for. What now? I broach this topic in ‘Asking the big question: what next?’ In other words, if the necessities in life were covered and there were no other barriers to achieving your goal(s): where would you be, what would you be doing? Or have you already arrived? At times, I’m so far from Someday—my personal nirvana—that I feel defeated, yet I’m close enough to tease myself into holding onto my dreams. I’m beyond the point of no return, however, at the top of the apex, the half-century mountain marker, with only one way to go. And fast. So as I take the plunge down the other side, either I put up or shut up: take action to do what I’ve been talking about for over half my life or stop talking about it. Even I am sick of hearing it.

Is it time for you to put up or shut up?

Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.  

Borrowed time: when you run out of somedays

Leave a comment

Borrowed time

 

I need to press pause here, in the midst of my ramblings about the pursuit of happiness, my dreams, Someday. Trivial musings in light of world affairs. And Rob, the cashier at my local grocery store who I write about in ‘Slow down, listen more…’ and ‘How (not) to be miserable…’ The one diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. As I head out of the store recently, I stop at his register. My heart aches for this kind man, a smile on his lips even as he presses a tissue to his mouth, coughing and gasping for his next breath. The cancer has spread and the third round of chemo, he says, is kicking his butt. His jeans hang from barely there hips; his hugs are bones at best. Yet he lights up when he mentions his recent trip to California. And next month—for his birthday—he is traveling to Hawaii. We all live on borrowed time. Rob is simply living his somedays now.

What about you?

Image courtesy of digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

When we stop trying to plan everything

Leave a comment

Stop planning
Last week we celebrated my daughter’s birthday. A day beforehand, I asked her what flavor cupcakes and ice cream she preferred. Surprise me, she said. For a Type A planner, this kind of response causes my heart to race and my palms to sweat. OK, not really, but why make things more complicated than they need to be? In my writing life, I demand certain conditions be met before I write. And, unless I have an outline in place, forget it. Plus, my days must be planned from beginning to end. But, when I don’t allow wiggle room into the equation, I miss out on the opportunity to improvise; to practice patience. To be kind(er). Perhaps instead of crossing every T and dotting each I, we apply a simplified mindset to the moment: a go-with-the-flow approach. A skeleton idea, of sorts—to our day; our (personal) story. Then let the rest be a delicious surprise. P.S. The birthday sweets were a hit.

Do you practice a go-with-the-flow mindset?

Image courtesy of nattavut at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Asking the big question: what’s next?

Leave a comment

the big question

 

Pivotal moments. We all experience those times in our lives where we can usually pinpoint at least one life-altering decision, milestone or epiphany. I’ve written a lot about a big one for me: my daughter had just started 10th grade and, when I realized she’d graduate in two years, I knew I didn’t want to do what I was doing for the rest of my life. Twenty-four months later I earned my B.A., just a day before this same child received her diploma. Fast forward a half dozen years: my daughter turns 24 today. I work in an industry I’m passionate about (most of the time) but, once again, I can’t say this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Maybe it’s because hitting the half-century mark this past December signaled another turning point—an ah-ha moment of sorts. We aren’t getting out of this thing alive, and it isn’t slowing down. So what’s next?

What is a pivotal moment in your life?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

How to adopt a new mindset

Leave a comment

motivation

In a recent post, 4 tips to reclaim your get up and go, I suggest splurging on yourself to (re)summon your purpose. You might ask: How does purchasing a pair of sassy summer sandals help me snap out of my motivation-less mindset? I adopted this very suggestion myself, and I’m happy to report it went a long way toward improving my spirit. I may not have located my get up and go, but the act of simply leaving the office mid-day with my colleague, to laugh and shop together, infused my attitude with gratitude. I returned to work with a lighter spirit—albeit a lighter bank account—but also with renewed excitement for a getaway lined up next month, as well as a couple writers’ learning opportunities around the corner. I might even take a mental health day soon to revisit my passion and ensure I’m still heading in the right direction. It’s no wonder I feel a bit more empowered.

How will you adopt a new mindset?

Image courtesy of aechan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Older Entries